Page 19 of The Midnight Order (The Thorngray Vampires Duet #1)

Silver

Waking up, I find myself alone. The spot where Lowell was lying beside me is empty. There’s not even a dent in the mattress to remind me that last night was real.

Half of me wants to get up, get coffee, and see Aunt Soliel’s place in the light of day, but I wonder who’s around and if they’d think I was running if I did so without telling them first.

I can’t deny how I felt last night with Lowell. I also can’t deny how sad it made me to see the haunted look in his red eyes when my hands grazed over the scars beneath his shirt. I don’t know what happened to him, but it was something horrible. Something he’s afraid to share.

After showering and dressing, I brush my teeth and hurry downstairs to see who’s there. Silence greets me, other than the sounds of Milly, who’s dutifully scrubbing the clean counter.

She looks up, smiling from ear to ear as she spots me. “Good morning!”

Looking around the room, I realize it seems different. Pots hang from racks, and dishes dry on the rack beside the sink. There’s also a coffee machine tucked away near the fridge, which I bet is packed full of food for me.

“They did this for me?” I ask her, walking over and running my finger over a silver espresso machine.

“They did. Well, Master Jasper did. I don’t think it was all for you, though. I’m sure he doesn’t want his fancy car disappearing again.” She chuckles, and a smile tips my own lips up at the sound.

“I’m sure you’re right.”

“I took the liberty of making you some breakfast. It’s on a plate in the microwave. And there are fresh-baked muffins over here.”

I turn as she lifts the glass lid on a cake stand. What looks like pumpkin muffins makes my eyes widen, and my belly grumble.

I warm my eggs and bacon, snag a muffin, and sit at the bar.

Milly tells me she’s taken a couple of days to learn how to use the coffee machine and is now confident she can make me a decent cup of coffee. So, as she sets to that task, I eye her while I eat.

“Have you always been with them?” I ask her.

She turns, a sad look in her eyes. “No. I was tested nearly fifty years ago, but wasn’t the one.”

“But you stayed?”

“I did. I found friendship and love here, and it was something I was unwilling to give up.”

“They do seem like decent… men. Are they men?” I laugh, shaking my head. “Sorry, this is all insane. Not in a bad way…” I stop my rambling as she grins.

“When did they change you?” I ask, my tone softens. I don’t know if asking her what I just have is rude.

“I caught the flu in 1988. It was going around outside of here, and a potential key brought it into the manor during her testing. They were faced with a choice.”

“Lose you or change you,” I whisper.

She nods. “I awoke healed and whole but forever changed and tied to this home and the Thorngray men.”

“They’re not all related, though, right?”

She shakes her head, her hand absently running the cloth over the granite countertop that’s already shining brightly. “No. They’re not in any human way. But they are a family in the vampiric sense.”

“As are you.”

She quirks a brow at me in question.

“You’re their family, too.”

Her smile gains some warmth as she realizes that I’m right. “I guess I am.”

She slides a mug across the bar towards me once she’s done pulling shots of espresso and foaming milk.

I eye it narrowly.

“If it’s bad, I’ll drive you into town. In an approved vehicle.”

Thinking of not being able to curve Jasper’s Bugatti around the corners that head into Blackmoore again has sadness welling in me, but still, I lift the bright orange mug, letting the warmth seep through my hands before I take a long inhale of the scent before sipping.

“Oh, damn. That’s good, Milly.”

She beams at me, her cheeks turning a light shade of rose. “I’m sure it’s not Karen’s coffee, but for the price point on the machine, it’s a great brew.”

I nearly spit the next mouthful into the cup. “The price point?”

“I spent days agonizing over the purchase. The machine makes or breaks the flavor of the brew, and Master Jasper told me specifically he wanted you to have the best.”

The fact that she’d taken such pains for me and that Jasper had has my stomach tied in knots, but I ignore it.

There’s no logic in getting attached to men who are cursed and undead.

The lie ferments in my brain, even as I tell it to myself.

I can deny it outwardly to anyone who asks, but I can’t deny the growing attachment to them.

“Well, thank you for going through such trouble for me. It really wasn’t necessary.”

“If you relinquish this curse, it is. I don’t know if you realize the gravity of what you mean to them, to all of us. You’re a beacon of hope, Silver. And I hope that you don’t take it lightly.”

I swallow over the growing lump in my throat, maintaining an aloof look on my face, even though I want to let the rattling fear within shine through.

“I understand. I just don’t know how they fit into my life.”

How can I explain to her that I don’t want to upend my entire world for four vampires who solely wish to better themselves and their situation?

How do I convey the same sentiment to myself?

When I’m with one of them, when I’m the object of one of their affections, the entire world disappears, even every bit of logic that’s made me as successful as I am.

I try not to ruminate on the fact that even though I am successful, I’m not happy in my day-to-day life, but the thought simmers in my brain anyhow.

“I think we find a way to fit the things we love into our lives until they become our lives,” Milly says wisely, and as if she’s dropped the mic, she turns and walks out of the kitchen, leaving me sputtering with a cooling latte in my hands and my mouth open.

I don’t love them, but they’re getting under my skin. And if I don’t stay vigilant, Milly’s words might ring true.

Holding the Yeti cup I found in the cupboard to keep my coffee warm against the weather’s chill, I stand a few feet away from the house, looking up at all the work the men have done so far.

The porch is fully restored, and there’s a line of dead foliage where the chemical agents killed everything beneath the tent.

Hammering has my eyes flicking toward the open door, and my interest piques.

Walking up the steps, I ignore the thudding of my heart as anticipation curls in my stomach like a cat beneath the sun’s rays.

I don’t know who’s inside, but I hope it’s one of them.

It is.

Asher bangs a sledgehammer through the drywall with such ferocity that it reminds me of his inhumanity and strength. One swing nearly takes the entire wall down.

In between swings, I say, “Hi.”

He startles, turning on me with feral eyes. It’s as if the job was quelling some dangerous energy in him, like he was taking it out on my house.

Quickly, he stows the ferocity and the eyes gaping at me from beneath his mask, clear of their lingering ghosts. “What are you doing here? Does Jasper know where you are?”

I shrug, approaching. “I didn’t take any of his precious cars this time. He’ll be fine.”

He fights a smirk. “When he finds you gone, he won’t be.”

I haven’t seen Asher since the other night when I walked in on him and Corvin in the lab. The night I can’t think about without getting so wet and needy.

I shake the thought away, and Asher seems to notice the inward battle as curiosity dances in his eyes.

“What are you doing?” I ask, diverting his attention, hopefully.

“Knocking this wall down.”

“No shit,” I joke, a laugh huffing out of me. “Why are you knocking my wall down?”

He sighs, dropping the head of the sledgehammer to the floor and leaning his weight on it effortlessly. “Well, it just seemed like the thing to do on a Saturday morning.”

I purse my lips at his banter, shaking my head and refusing to be baited.

He’s got fire and wit, and it’s hard not to be drawn into him.

“No, we found some mold in a few walls, so we’re going to gut the drywall and replace it.”

“Fuck,” I whisper, looking around and realizing a lot of drywall is already removed. “I don’t even want that bill. Send it to somebody else.”

He chuckles. “I don’t think you’ll see a bill, Sil.”

The way he shortened my name. Fuck.

I swallow thickly, trying to calm the patter of my heart because I know he can hear it. But he grins knowingly, and I know I’m caught.

He steps closer. “Why did you come down here?”

I argue internally with myself before deciding to go with the truth. “Lowell brought me down here last night to prove that you guys are invested in me and that I should do the same, and I wanted to see all the work that’s been done in the daylight.”

He narrows his eyes at me. “And?”

“And, what?”

He’s unnervingly close, and his presence is causing my body to become unbearably hot.

“And you were looking for one of us, weren’t you?”

“I—No. It’s like I said…” His finger dragging across my lips silences me, and I stifle the need to whimper with his skin touching mine.

The gleam of daylight against his mask reveals the reality of his curse, glaring me down and reminding me of the very real nature of why he’s toying with me.

I’m some fated key to his curse, and he needs me.

But even if he does, he could just take it, right?

The closer he inches his face to mine, the more I’m arguing for whatever he’s about to do to me, even if logic says they’re using me for their own gains.

An electric current vibrates through my body, like the waves of power shooting from a broken power line in a storm.

“Tell the truth, Sil. You know what they say.”

He’s leading me down a path of destruction, and I’m inclined to take his hand and skip there beside him.

“What do they say?” I breathe, unable to stop the way my eyes grow heady, and my breath expels in little pants.

“It will set you free,” he whispers against my lips, chuckling darkly when a small moan escapes me, and my knees wobble.

“Don’t leave me hanging like you did before,” I blurt, not caring where the words or nerves came from.

“I didn’t leave you hanging. I’m bound to listen to Jasper as my creator. What he says goes. Even if I wanted to rip his heart from his chest to go against his order to keep you under my thumb, or was it my fingers?”

I bite back another moan, sinking my teeth into my bottom lip as he still hovers close, teasing me with his proximity, and I’m feeding from the cloud of him like I’m a hungry tornado.

“Nothing about this situation makes sense to me,” I admit to him softly, and a softness I haven’t seen before enters his eyes.

“Why does it have to? Just live, Sil. Let whatever is fated to happen, do so. Take the good with the bad, and stop trying to overanalyze everything. Because, trust me, you’re not going to find reason in how magic and vampires operate.”

The entire time he gave his little speech, he’d been grazing his nose back and forth over mine, razzing me as I tried my damnedest to keep my head above the waters of this attraction between us.

With the memories of the other night in the basement, there’s no way to do that, however.

“What is it you want from me, Silver?” he whispers, and I’m helpless to the racing of my heart and the drumming of the blood in my veins.

Helpless to this feeling.

“Kiss me,” I plead.