Page 19 of The Merman’s Betrothal (Outcast Hearts #2)
‘I—’ Rory caught himself, desperate to argue against going home just yet, but unable to push himself over the precipice.
‘Yes?’ Fionn was so very close. His eyes so very piercing.
‘How do I do more?’ Rory asked, finally meeting his stare full-on. ‘I want to help in a way that’s meaningful.’
‘Do not worry about the turtle—’
‘Not the turtle.’ Rory ran both hands over his face and then stared out across the Minch. To the horizon. ‘Do you know I wanted to leave, once? I had this big dream of going away to study at university and then getting a job that could help marine wildlife.’
‘Ah, I have heard of those. It is a place of learning,’ Fionn replied carefully, almost like he was running his own sentences past an internal fact check. ‘Why did you not go?’
When Rory didn’t answer, Fionn kicked at the sand and turned his own face to the sea. ‘Perhaps it is the same duty that kept you from returning to the great reef you spoke of?’
Christ, Rory almost didn’t want to disillusion the kilted pillock. But the strange air of admiration that suddenly seemed to be flowing from Fionn was making Rory uncomfortable.
‘Nah. I’m just a coward,’ he said flatly. ‘Didn’t want to face my dad. That’s all. He didn’t… He didn’t approve.’
Rory swore he could feel the way Fionn’s body went still. Then the merman swept in front of him, bowing forward so as to meet him at eye level.
‘I don’t believe it is cowardice to care what others think of you,’ Fionn said in a rush, then winced, then apparently tried to grapple a hold on whatever thoughts were trying to land a ride on his tongue.
He continued in a more measured way. ‘Nor do I think that you should hold yourself at fault for a father who ought to have alleviated your burdens rather than add to them.’
In the isolation of this tiny beach, with nothing but the sound of the waves crashing in his ears, Rory felt his heart stop and the ground fall away from him. He was held entirely in Fionn’s smoky gaze. Seen.
Allowed, maybe, to admit out loud what he really felt. Hell, Fionn had just done it for him. Did the merman even realise how sharp a shard of truth he’d just spoken?
Rory’s dad should have been there for him. Should have helped him learn to stand tall after their world came crumbling down.
‘I need to get home,’ Rory said shakily. Backing off from the emotions that threatened to topple him.
‘Wait.’ Panic raced across Fionn’s face. He probably thought he’d done something wrong. Then he grabbed Rory’s hand and a flood of… anxiety, impatience, longing, excitement… rushed into his chest.
‘I can help you create the life you want,’ Fionn said, almost pleading. ‘You are my soul mate. We can find a way. You have passion and purpose that I wish was more evident in myself, Rory Douglas. You could help me protect my kingdom. We could…’
Fionn swallowed, like this next part was a revelation even to himself. ‘We could travel beyond. I would like you to show me the great reef. I would like to fight for the great oceans with you. I believe I would follow you and fight for you…’
He trailed off, breathless and tinged blue over his currently pink skin.
Rory struggled to regain his breath, too.
‘Hell of a declaration,’ he said with a gruff clearing of his throat.
Fionn seemed to agree. Wordlessly, they both took a step back.
‘This depth of feeling is new to me,’ Fionn mumbled. ‘You confuse and confound me.’
The waves bucked in Rory’s chest. This bond between them. It was like he could feel some of Fionn’s confusion and he wondered, for the first time, if it mirrored his own.
‘I’ll think about it,’ Rory found himself saying. He was already thinking about it, no matter how hard he might try to deny the fact. Fionn’s little speech had sent his soul skittering into a restless frenzy, like a caged animal desperate to be let free.
‘You must be getting cold,’ Fionn said, breaking the awkward tension. ‘Will you manage the journey back to your boat?’
‘Yeah. And you need to get that turtle seen to. Let’s go.’
Rory stepped into Fionn’s arms and tried not to dwell on how easy it was to do so.
The underwater journey was less of an ordeal this time, now that he knew what to expect. When Fionn pulled him out of the waves in the shadow of the Wandering Star , Rory was conflicted over whether he wanted this strange adventure to end.
A part of him would rather stay in the water. Help Fionn care for the leatherback until she was healthy. Then move on to another worthwhile task to defend this narrow stretch of sea.
He was beginning to see why Fionn took such pride in protecting his kingdom.
‘You’ll tell me how she gets on?’ he settled for saying as Fionn gave him a boost back onto the Star .
‘Certainly. She was grateful for your assistance. I thought you should know.’
Rory stood sheepishly against the rail, not ready to say good bye but also completely out of sensible ways to continue the conversation.
Oh, there were plenty of insensible ways. Like asking whether the way Fionn travelled so fast in the water was actually magic. Was there some kind of merman hospital or vet that he would take the leatherback to? Did they run some kind of sea life rehabilitation program?
And, after the turtle was safe, when would Rory see Fionn again?
‘You’ll be back, I expect,’ Rory said tersely, staring at a point over Fionn’s shoulder to avoid meeting his gaze.
‘If I am welcome.’
‘If I said you were unwelcome would you stop?’
Fionn deflated a little, like he hadn’t considered this to be a possibility. ‘Am I unwelcome?’
Rather than answer, Rory abruptly turned away. ‘I’m heading home.’
He dripped water across the deck and wondered if he felt warm because his blood was still thumping with adrenaline.
Trying not to think about whether Fionn was watching, Rory pulled off his shirt and trousers, replacing them with the dry waterproofs and overcoat.
Then he stepped up to the helm and turned the Star towards Ullapool.
After a few minutes he looked behind and scanned the surface of the Minch for any sign of Fionn following him.
He was a little disappointed to find that there wasn’t.