Page 45 of The Merger

He grins. “Hell, no. I’m ready to go.”

Once our balls are retrieved and clubs are secured, we make our way back to the clubhouse. Jason types furiously on his phone as I drive us in silence.Thankfully.

The silence continues as we return our cart and make our way back to the parking lot.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot back there,” Jason says, stopping next to his truck.

I set my bag in the back of my SUV. “It’s fine. But you can do me one favor.”

“What’s that?”

“I got the email from Landry Security about our security assignments for the next month.” I lift a brow. “Get Callum off my detail.”

He tries so hard not to laugh.

“Fine. Leave him.” I shrug. “You can take it up with Landry when I kill the motherfucker.”

“You don’t even have to interact with him.” Jason laughs. “He just sits at the gate outside your house or patrols the grounds. What does it matter?”

“It matters when I look at his face, see that cocky little grin, and want to put my fist through his skull.”

Jason drops his bag into the bed of his truck. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thanks.” I open my door and get inside my vehicle. “See ya later.”

“Later, Gan.”

I close the door, start my engine, and sit until Jason pulls out.

I give myself a moment to let the events of the past hour settle in my mind.Bianca’s baby. Jason’s comments. My agreeing to give the speech at Waltham … and seeing Tatum.

For the first time in a long time, I let myself think about her. She’s apparently married and has kids that go to our alma mater. It seems like she’s on the alumni committee or PTA or something. And she still has my name in her mouth.

The idea of seeing her doesn’t bother me. But the thought of seeing her with all the things she said I would never—couldnever—have despite knowing they’re all I wanted pisses me the fuck off.

I check behind me and then throw the SUV in reverse.

There’s nothing I can do about it now.What is it with my fucking impulsive decisions lately?

Miss Matcha being the first.

As soon as Carys pops in my mind, I smile. Thank God Jason has already gone and won’t see this shit. He’d call me out on a smile for sure, and there would be no easy explanation on my end. There’s no way in hell I’d tell him I’m smiling over a woman.

My brothers would never let me live that down.

But why does the thought of her elicit this reaction? Why does her giggle echo through my head—and I like it? Why does her grin relieve some of the tension in my shoulders, and the memory of her perfume settle a wild part of my soul?

The answers are on the tip of my tongue, but I avoid them. I leave the questions open-ended because it’s safer that way. Thinking about that shit too often will ruin a man.

“It’s too bad I can’t take Carys with me to the Waltham event,” I say as I shift into drive.

The idea makes my body ache because let’s be honest here—there’s no fucking way I could take her to something like that and not want to end the night with her in my bed.

And that’s why I won’t further entertain that thought either.

“What about you, old man? Are you ever going to settle down and start a family?”

I hit the road with the radio blaring nineties rock, hoping it will drown out my thoughts. Because there will never be a future when I settle down and have the life I once dreamed would become my reality.