Page 17 of The Mercy of Chance

I n the library, Collins found Mr Bennet reading correspondence.

“Sir,”

Collins began, drawing himself up.

“I come to you with the gravest of concerns regarding the future of this estate and the welfare of your granddaughters.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh, whose wisdom in such matters is unimpeachable, has impressed upon me most decidedly the absolute necessity of maintaining proper order in matters of family and property.

That you have permitted—nay, encouraged—these extraordinary departures from proper feminine behaviour must proceed from some temporary confusion regarding the natural order of society.”

Mr Bennet laid down his letter.

“Confusion, Mr Collins?”

“Indeed, sir.

Your advanced years and the unfortunate circumstance of being surrounded entirely by females must naturally have clouded your judgement in these matters.

However, as heir to Longbourn and a man of both sense and education, I stand ready to assume the burden of responsibility for--”

“Tell me, Mr Collins,”

Mr Bennet interrupted, his voice dangerously mild, “what was Longbourn’s income these past three years?”

“I hardly see the relevance--”

“The price of wool at last market?”

“Such details are hardly the concern of--”

“The number of tenants? The state of the winter wheat? The condition of the water meadow? No?”

Mr Bennet’s eyes glittered.

“Yet you presume to speak of proper management?”

“My dear sir,”

Collins persisted, tugging at his cravat, “you mistake my meaning.

As Lady Catherine is wont to declare, such detailed knowledge of estate matters is precisely what separates the gentleman from the mere farmer.

One must maintain a distance from such vulgar concerns whilst ensuring they are managed by those suited to the task.”

“And who, pray tell, would you consider better suited than those who have proved their capability?”

Mr Bennet’s voice remained deadly calm.

“Now, good sir, you cannot possibly credit mere women with success! No doubt some error in their understanding--”

“The results are quite evident, Upon my honour.

Jane’s mathematical precision exceeds my own.”

Collins paced the library, his agitation mounting.

“But consider the impropriety! Miss Elizabeth tramping about the fields like a common labourer.

Miss Mary concerning herself with dairy accounts.

Miss Catherine and Miss Lydia speaking with tenant women! Why, Lady Catherine has frequently remarked that young ladies should never be permitted to--”

“I wonder, Mr Collins,”

Mr Bennet interrupted, “whether Lady Catherine has any occupation beyond making pronouncements.

Does she perhaps occasionally take action?”

Collins gasped.

“Sir! Her Ladyship’s condescension in offering guidance on all matters is universally acknowledged as--”

“Universal acknowledgement is not the same as universal wisdom, sir.

Now, regarding your earlier attempts to secure a wife from among my granddaughters…”

“I had hoped, sir, that your influence might be exerted in that direction.

After all, the future of Longbourn--”

“Lies in competent hands.

Tell me, Mr Collins, what precisely would you do with Longbourn were it in your power?”

“Why, I should naturally restore proper order! Male servants would oversee the accounts, whilst your granddaughters would be guided toward more felicitous occupations until such time as suitable matches could be secured.

Lady Catherine has most specifically advised that young ladies should spend their mornings in needlework and their afternoons in quiet reading of improving texts.

The estate would be managed as befits a gentleman’s property, with all decisions made by those qualified by their sex and station to--”

“To return us to the old ways, I suspect,”

Mr Bennet said dryly.

“No, Mr Collins.

I have observed you these past weeks.

Your reverence for rank, your dependence upon the opinions of others, your impressive consistency in failing to recognise true merit when it fails to match your preconceptions–these do not recommend you as either a husband or a steward of property.”

“Sir! I must protest! When I am master here--”

“You will never be master here whilst I draw breath.

And when that unhappy event occurs which places Longbourn in your hands, you will find its existence secured by such legal provisions as will ensure my granddaughters’ continued autonomy.”

Collins’s face purpled.

“Secured? You cannot mean to subvert the natural order--”

“I mean to preserve what functions admirably, sir.

You speak endlessly of proper management, yet in all your weeks here, you have not once reviewed the lands.

Not once have you enquired after the condition of the fields, the health of the livestock, or the state of the tenants.”

“Such details are beneath--”

“Nothing about Longbourn is beneath the attention of those who truly care for its welfare.

Whilst you expound upon Lady Catherine’s opinions regarding feminine deportment, my granddaughters concern themselves with actual management.

Tell me, do you know which fields lie fallow this season?”

Collins shifted uncomfortably.

“A gentleman need not--”

“The state of the winter wheat? The condition of the sheep? The terms of our tenant leases?”

“These matters are for stewards and--”

“These matters, Mr Collins, are the essence of responsible ownership.

That you disdain such knowledge whilst presuming to judge those who possess it speaks volumes about your character.”

“This is not to be borne! To be lectured thus by a man who has lost all sense of proper dignity and judgement! When Sir William hears of this…”

“By all means, apply to Sir William.

And Mr Freeman as well,”

Mr Bennet’s eyes glittered dangerously.

“I look forward to hearing their opinions on a man who, having failed to secure a wife through three separate proposals, seeks to gain control of an estate through accusations against its rightful owner.

Good day, Mr Collins.

I believe you know the way out.”

Collins stood trembling with rage and humiliation.

“You will regret this obstinacy, sir.

There are ways to protect my interests from those who have lost their judgement through age and infirmity.”

“Indeed?”

Mr Bennet’s voice could have frozen water.

“Then by all means, pursue them.

But remember, Mr Collins–a man who attempts to prove another’s madness often succeeds only in proving his own.

Particularly when that other’s judgement is daily proved sound by the contentment of his tenants and the character of his descendants.”

Collins stormed from the study, his face purple with thwarted ambition and wounded pride.

Behind him, Mr Bennet permitted himself a small smile and reached for the bell pull.

His ladies must be warned of what was to come.

All was not lost.

Sir William had always shown especial admiration of the excellent condition of Longbourn’s sheep at market.

Rosings Park, Kent

My Dear Lady Catherine,

I feel compelled by duty and gratitude to provide a most particular account of certain developments at Longbourn which may warrant your Ladyship’s attention, especially as they relate to Mr Darcy’s recent activities in our neighbourhood.

Your nephew was observed no fewer than three times this past week consulting with Miss Elizabeth Bennet regarding estate matters - consultations which, I must report with some distress, appear to extend beyond mere courtesy calls.

On Tuesday last, they spent upwards of two hours examining drainage channels, during which Mr Darcy was seen to pay particular attention to her opinions regarding water flow patterns.

Most alarming was his evident approval of her rather unfeminine and forceful arguments about proper field management.

Even more concerning was Friday’s encounter, wherein Mr Darcy arrived at Longbourn specifically to seek Miss Elizabeth’s counsel regarding the Matthews property.

They were observed walking the boundary line between the estates, engaged in what appeared to be lively discourse more befitting one between gentlemen.

I feel it my duty to note that Miss Elizabeth spoke with an authority most unseemly in a young lady, and yet your nephew seemed not merely tolerant but actively encouraging of such displays.

He is without a doubt being drawn in by her arts and allurements.

The situation at Longbourn continues to defy all proper order.

Miss Elizabeth and Miss Bennet persist in their unnatural attention to estate management, regularly consulting with tenants and making decisions that surely ought to fall under male guidance.

Their younger sisters, I fear, are being influenced by this example of feminine independence.

Even Miss Mary was seen yesterday studying a volume on agricultural improvements rather than pursuing more appropriate accomplishments.

More troubling still is the apparent approval these activities receive from Mr Bennet.

Whilst quite elderly and frail, Mr Bennet consults with these young ladies as if they were competent stewards.

He is very unwell and has been most unwelcoming of the advice you provided for him which I have delivered in no uncertain terms.

His age and eccentric behaviours lend credence to my fear that he is assuredly senile or otherwise disordered in his senses.

His unfortunate derangement manifests in a most unfortunate disturbance of the brain, wherein he discerns objects and personages visible only to himself.

Mr Darcy’s friend, Mr Bingley’s frequent calls at Longbourn might be explained by his evident partiality for Miss Jane, but Mr Darcy’s increasing involvement suggests a dangerous shifting of traditional values.

When I ventured to suggest to Miss Elizabeth that such detailed attention to estate matters might be better left to those more naturally suited to such concerns, she replied with a most unsettling mixture of impertinence and defiance that seemed to amuse your nephew.

As per your Ladyship’s specific enquiry regarding Mr Darcy’s movements in the neighbourhood, I must report that he has been observed riding past Longbourn’s north fields with marked regularity, often pausing to examine recent earth works undertaken by men employed by the Longbourn Estate.

His supervision of his friend’s leased Netherfield property, whilst ostensibly a sound investment, places him in frequent consultation with the Bennet ladies regarding shared boundaries and management.

I harbour deep concern for his continued exposure to these unnatural females.

I have made attempts to follow your direction to seek a wife from among my cousins at Longbourn.

I have been met by uncivil and indecorous responses such that I fear they are all entirely headstrong and foolish.

I question whether any of them would altogether be a very desirable wife to a man in my situation, who naturally looks for happiness in the marriage state.

If, therefore, they persist in rejecting my suits, perhaps it were better not to force any of them into accepting me, because, if liable to such unnatural behaviours and defects of temper, none could contribute much to my felicity.

I remain your Ladyship’s most humble and obedient servant,

William Collins

P.S.

- During a recent encounter, I distinctly observed Mr Darcy escorting Miss Elizabeth and removing his gloves whilst examining a damaged culvert.

I then observed him placing the gloves on Miss Elizabeth’s own hands!! Such familiarity, whilst perhaps minor, seems indicative of a general relaxation of proper distance that your Ladyship might wish to consider.

You must understand, Lady Catherine, these unnatural arrangements at Longbourn persist.

The young ladies demonstrate a most alarming tendency toward independent thought and action, particularly Miss Elizabeth, whose influence over estate matters grows daily more pronounced.”

Lady Catherine’s fingers tightened on the letter as she read, her face a study in aristocratic displeasure.

The morning room seemed suddenly too confining for the scope of her indignation.

“Unthinkable,”

she pronounced to her daughter’s companion, Mrs Jenkinson, who had learnt long ago that such pronouncements required no response.

“That my own nephew should be seen in such company.

These modern notions of female capability must not be allowed to take root.

I must write to Mr Collins and demand that he return immediately!”