Page 4 of The Marquess and the Earl (The Unlikely Betrothal #3)

Chapter 4

G eorge’s head spun after what had occurred between him and Nate in the library. Disbelief consumed him as he pondered how he had summoned the courage to be so bold and how someone as handsome and perfect as Nate could find him desirable. It had been the most sensual and pleasurable experience of his life. He feared that once would never be enough now that he was aware of what pleasure at the hands—and mouth—of another man felt like. Not just another man. Nate.

He fought a silly grin from referring to him by his given name. It was probably short for Nathaniel, which suited such a strong, athletic man. He pushed his thoughts aside as he couldn’t allow himself to fall for the man. They had no longstanding future together. He must wed a woman and secure his title. That was what he was born to do. His father’s words reverberated in his mind, reminding him of such responsibility.

As much as he knew he should avoid being in Nate’s presence and push aside every bit of the reaction he had to the man, he knew with every shiver of his body that he wouldn’t. If this was the only chance he had in life to experience such pleasure and passion, he should take it. He would certainly not find it in a marriage that befitted the expectations of society.

After they departed the library, they parted ways. It wouldn’t do for them to be seen together so frequently that they raised suspicion, especially given that they weren’t known to each other before they had arrived. They could enjoy some of the activities in the same circles and share polite conversation, but they could not be seen in each other’s company constantly. George might not know much about how this sort of thing worked, but he was certain of that much.

Nate said they would speak more later, so he only hoped they might be alone together. He wished to learn more about him and to better understand what Nate’s situation was. Had he always been attracted to men? Given the man’s experience and confidence with such matters, George wasn’t na?ve enough to believe that had been his first time. The thought didn’t plague him with jealousy. Well, perhaps a bit, but he was curious to learn more about the man who had captured his every thought.

“I don’t think you are listening to me at all,” Lady Lily said, seated on the settee beside him.

George shook off his thoughts and glanced at her. “What? Oh, my sincere apologies. Woolgathering, I suppose.”

She assessed him but didn’t seem angry. “You needn’t feel pressured to ask for my hand, even if my father should say otherwise.”

“I don’t, my lady. I assure you. I am just enjoying getting to know you better.” That last part wasn’t a lie. He enjoyed the young lady, just not in the way her father hoped and not as much as he enjoyed Nate.

“Your wandering thoughts would suggest otherwise,” she said, smirking at him. She had a bit of spirit in her, hidden by the bluestocking persona that society had applied to her.

The corners of his lips curved to form a playful smile. “Well, may I tell you a secret?” he asked, leaning just a bit closer when she eyed him curiously. “I’m not very good at this.”

She laughed and covered her mouth when a group standing nearby took notice. “We have that in common, my lord.”

“Well, that’s a start,” he said. It was indeed something. At least he was feeling a bit more comfortable in the lady’s presence.

He stayed by her side for the rest of the afternoon. He forced Nate from his mind and only allowed him to cloud his thoughts every few minutes, as opposed to every thought. It aided in improving his conversation skills with Lady Lily. She was the kind of woman he would like to be friends with. If he must succumb to the weight of his responsibilities, there were certainly worse options to consider.

But even knowing that, something held him back from proposing and getting it over with. He had several more days, so why rush things? Because once he did, he wouldn’t be able to go back on it, so he had better be certain before he took that next step towards being the earl that society, and his father, expected him to be.

George was acutely aware of Nate’s presence throughout dinner. They had been seated across from each other, so he had to force himself not to stare at him and risk anyone else taking notice. Especially when his thoughts weren’t of a pure nature.

Nate gave him a small smile once when their gazes caught but shifted his focus to Lady Juliet sitting to his left. The way he flirted and chatted with the pretty young lady left George with more questions. Perhaps Nate was also attracted to women. The notion seemed reasonable enough, even though it didn’t appear to be the case for himself. Perhaps Nate intended to offer for the lady. He was a marquess, after all. He was in the same position as George and would need to take a wife.

George sighed to himself, thinking of them each married and hidden away in their respective country homes. He’d likely never see the man again after the house party, especially since George didn’t prefer to attend all the events of the London season.

He felt that awareness of being watched and glanced at Nate, who was staring back at him, a concerned expression written on his features. Nate must have observed George’s mental turmoil. George mentally reminded himself that he’d have to take greater care to mask his emotions and expressions. He gave Nate a small smile, hoping to put the man’s mind at ease, and then refocused his attention on his plate.

Lady Lily hadn’t been seated next to him that evening, and with the ladies on each side of him already engaged in conversation, George could continue to stare at his plate and avoid the polite niceties. He forked a bite of venison into his mouth and tamped down the feelings he couldn’t name.

When the ladies departed so the gentlemen could converse over their port, George ensured he wasn’t anywhere near Nate. He joined in a conversation about some of the upcoming races. He wasn’t much of a gambler, but he at least enjoyed attending the events, so the conversation came easy and aided in distracting himself from thoughts of Nate, at least for a few moments.

The gentlemen rejoined the ladies in the salon to find that their hostess had set up a few tables for guests to partake in card games. George enjoyed such games, but his mind wasn’t right for it that evening. He went to the sideboard, got himself a healthy pour of brandy, and started for the terrace. Perhaps if he was missing when everyone paired off for the games, he wouldn’t get roped into playing.

He rested his forearms on the railing and looked out across the yard. He took a large gulp of his drink and then resumed his position. Losing himself in his thoughts, he didn’t hear Nate approach.

“Something troubling you? ”

George swirled his drink and took another sip, appreciating the warmth and burn as it moved down his throat. “Just thinking.”

“About me, I hope,” the devilish man said.

George glanced over at him at that, his heart almost coming to a complete stop at the way the wind lightly tousled Nate’s hair and the way the light from the moon created shadows on his face, which only made him more irresistible. If George didn’t care so much about them being seen and the devastation it would bring down upon both of them, he would toss his glass over the railing and capture the man’s lips and tongue.

Instead, he took another sip of his drink. “Indeed.”

“Will you meet me tonight?”

George glanced at him again. “Meet you?”

Nate nodded. “Meet me just over there at midnight.”

He looked to where Nate pointed, and it was just off the terrace to the side of the house. George shifted his attention back to Nate. “I have a lot of questions,” George said, suddenly feeling shy and glancing at his feet. He wanted to better understand himself and to know Nate better. And after what had occurred between them, he also wanted to know more about what could occur between men like them .

Nate shifted his hand to the other side of the railing and brushed his fingers along George’s wrist, where no one could see.

“Just meet me, and I will tell you anything you wish to know.”

“I’ll be there,” George replied.

“Midnight,” Nate reminded.

“Midnight.”

Nate departed, leaving George alone on the terrace again. He downed the rest of his brandy. The next few hours would surely be the longest of his life.

Around ten minutes until midnight, George quietly exited his room. He was half curious if he might encounter Nate as he made his way to their meeting place, given that Nate’s room was next door to his own. It wouldn’t do for them to be caught together wandering the house in the middle of the night. Given the trysts that occurred at such events, it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility to encounter others who intended to spend the night in a different chamber.

He crept down the stairs and passed through the salon. Trying his best to stay in the shadows as much as possible, he was fortunate that he didn’t encounter anyone by the time he reached the terrace. He descended the stairs and then leaned against the house, under the cover of darkness. His heart raced, and he stretched his arms out to his sides, flattening his palms against the cool brick to steady himself.

George wasn’t sure what the night would hold, but he hoped he might at least get to kiss Nate again.

“I’m glad you made it,” Nate whispered, startling him.

“I told you I would meet you,” George replied, trying to get control of his quickened breathing, partly from being startled and partly because of the man in front of him.

Before George could say or think anything else, Nate cupped his cheek and brushed his full lips against George’s. George wrapped his arms around Nate’s waist and returned the kiss, slipping his tongue inside the man’s mouth to explore and taste every bit of him.

After several minutes, Nate broke the kiss and rested his forehead against George’s. “Follow me.”

Nate turned and started walking towards a thick group of trees. He carried a small satchel.

“Wait, where are we going?” George whispered after him .

If Nate heard him, he didn’t acknowledge him and kept moving to the line of trees and then crossed between them. George followed behind him. He hadn’t thought they would go traipsing through the woods, but it didn’t stop him from following as closely as he could. He was thankful he still donned his full dinner kit since it was a crisp evening.

Once they cleared the trees, there was a small open field. It was a large circle clearing with enough tree cover that no one could see them from the house if they looked out their windows.

“Help me with this,” Nate called out to him.

George saw the blanket he had pulled from his satchel. Nate handed him one side of it and instructed him to help him spread it out. Once it was flat against the grass, Nate kneeled on it before shifting to sit. He patted the space beside him on the blanket, and George followed suit. He wasn’t sure what he had expected when he agreed to meet, but it certainly wasn’t the scene before him. It was even better.

Nate pulled an open bottle of wine from his satchel and a loaf of bread.

“We will have to drink directly from the bottle, and all I could grab was this loaf of bread, so it wasn’t exactly the picnic I would have liked to have packed,” Nate said, handing George the bottle .

George took a swig and handed it back to him. “This is really thoughtful, Nate.”

“I thought we might watch the stars together,” Nate said, grinning at him.

George swallowed the emotion that bubbled far too close to the surface. He had met no one as kind or romantic, let alone someone who caused his heart to beat faster than it ever had before, not that he could allow himself to admit such a thing.

“I’d like that very much,” George whispered.

Nate set the bottle of wine to the side and laid the bread on top of the satchel. He lay flat on his back. “Come, lie with me.”

George shivered, feeling far more than he should have for the man. Unable to resist, he lay beside him, their heads only a few inches apart. Nate clasped George’s hand and laced their fingers together, and the electricity from Nate’s fingers rubbing against his own sent shivers through George’s entire body.

They lay together in silence for a few moments, staring up at the millions of stars in the sky. It was a clear night, making the stars appear even brighter. George also saw himself more clearly than he ever had before and he longed to better understand what it all meant.

George drew a deep breath, searching for the words to ask Nate all his questions. He turned his head to look at him, mesmerized by the handsome man’s profile and the steady rise and fall of his chest. George turned on his side to face him.

“Have you always,” he started, breaking the silence. He paused, landing on the way he wished to ask his question before continuing, “Fancied men?”

Nate turned his head to look at him, remaining on his back with their hands still clasped. “I’m not certain. I guess so. It just feels like the most normal thing in the world to me, so I don’t really question it.”

“But how did you know? When did you…” George’s voice trailed off. He was certain that if Nate could see him better, he’d find that George’s skin had turned to a dark shade of red.

“Are you trying to ask me about the first time I was with a man?” Nate asked.

George nodded, relieved that Nate understood his meaning. “Yes.”

“How much do you want to know?”

George thought about his question before answering. “Everything.”

“When I was eight-and-ten, just before I was to start at Cambridge, I happened upon an attractive footman in our household changing clothes in a closet. Something in the kitchen had spilled and made a mess. His back was to me, and I couldn’t look away. I hadn’t been certain at that point, but I’d suspected I might fancy men from other reactions I’d had. When he turned around, I was frozen in place in the doorway. My attraction was obvious, if you understand what I’m saying, and he noticed.”

Nate paused, and George nodded, urging him to continue.

“I was so embarrassed and afraid he would tell others in the household, or my father, so I tried to avoid the man until I left for school. But he sought me out, apparently having experienced a similar attraction. That was the first time that a man used his mouth on my cock. Well, anyone, actually.”

Nate squeezed George’s hand, searching his face in the dark. “Do you wish to hear more, or is that enough?” he asked.

“Tell me all of it,” George replied. He wanted to understand more than anything, especially if it would serve to enlighten him about the ways that intimacy occurred between men.

“I started university after that. I wasn’t certain what it all meant, and I noticed attraction to other men but never acted on it. When I returned home for holiday break, the footman snuck into my chamber one evening and encouraged me to…well, to insert my cock into his arse.”

George knew that men inserted themselves inside women when they coupled but hadn’t considered that the arse might be pleasurable. If the reaction from his cock was any indication, the mental image of Nate doing such a thing to him would be quite intriguing, indeed.

“Did you enjoy doing so?” George asked, almost certain he already knew the answer.

“If I am honest, I did so every day while on holiday, sometimes twice, until I returned to school.”

“Did you love him?” George asked, no hint of jealousy in his tone.

Nate laughed and waved him off. “No. I was a green lad then and was just glad to dip my prick into something. I wasn’t certain how much gender played a factor at that point, or if I enjoyed the climax it gave me. A group of the guys at school decided to visit a brothel. I paid for my time with a woman and we went into a private room. I was able to finish, but it wasn’t as satisfying. I accepted then that I preferred men, and it was just who I was. I decided I’d deal with the rest as it came, as it were.”

“And then you fucked a lot of other men?” This time there was a bit more of a jealous edge, which George immediately regretted.

Nate turned on his side now to face him. “No, actually. I admittedly continued to use the willing footman to tend to my needs when I wasn’t away at school, but in my last year at Cambridge, I met someone. And him…I loved.”

George hated the pain in Nate’s expression and used his thumb to smooth Nate’s furrowed brow. George swallowed hard, wanting to know more, but not wanting to cause the man any more pain. Or himself, if he were honest, but he had to ask. “Where is he now?”

“He died,” Nate said, offering no more information, and George decided not to pry any further.

“I’m sorry.”

Nate nodded but said nothing.

The silence hung between them for a few moments. There was so much more to Nate than George might have realized, and it endeared him to the man even more. His feelings grew stronger with every minute spent in his presence, and he knew he was playing with fire.

“What about you?” Nate asked, breaking through George’s thoughts. “How did it happen for you?”

George released an uncomfortable chuckle. “Well, you already know that I don’t have any experience.”

“When did you first realize you looked at men differently than our society tells you that you should?”

“I was maybe seven-and-ten or somewhere around there. From my chamber window, there was a stream where the servants would bathe in the summer. One day, I noticed one of the grooms, who was particularly fit, removed his clothing and entered the stream naked. Before I knew it, my cock was in my hand, and my seed soiled a handkerchief. I fisted myself at the window more times than I care to admit.”

“So you like a muscled man, I see?” Nate asked, teasing him.

“It’s embarrassing to think back on.” George couldn’t believe he had shared such a private experience with another person, but Nate wasn’t just another person to him. Not in the slightest.

Nate leaned forward and pressed his lips to George’s for a quick, soft kiss. “It’s not at all. You don’t think I’ve fucked my own hand more times than I can count?”

The mental image that gave George stirred a reaction in him, and his cock became aware of just how close Nate was to him at that moment.

“Have you bedded a woman?” Nate asked, only slightly taking the edge off the strain of George’s breeches.

“I tried, but I’m not like you,” George replied.

“What do you mean?”

“I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t finish. I couldn’t even really start.” He hung his head as if it were something he should be ashamed of. “I tried several times.”

Nate placed his knuckles under his chin and lifted George’s head so he looked into his eyes. “Hey, I don’t care what anyone else says. It doesn’t matter. Attraction isn’t always this or that, and sometimes it is. If you only want to be with a man in that way, that’s what is right for you.”

Understanding washed over George, and he had never felt better about who he was than at that moment under the stars with the man before him. Before he could stop himself, George shifted on top of him, pushing Nate onto his back, and straddled his hips. George leaned down to press hungry kisses against his lips. Nate wrapped his arms around him and kissed him back, matching his intensity.

George broke the kiss. “I want you, Nate.”

Nate cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead. “And I want you, more than anything. I never thought I might even dream to have this kind of attraction for another again, and it’s wonderful.” He paused and stared into George’s eyes. “That’s why I will do nothing more than kiss you tonight. I didn’t bring you out here to seduce you. I planned this to spend time with you and learn everything I could about you, and hope that you might wish to learn more about me.”

George contemplated what he said. He wasn’t certain anyone had ever shown him such care. His father certainly hadn’t. At least not the care he needed. The experience was unlike anything he might have ever thought to have with another person, and his heart swelled with such intensity that it might burst from his chest. He shifted his hips, adjusting himself from how his cock throbbed and ached.

Appearing to notice George’s discomfort, Nate took George’s hand and placed it on the steel bulge within his breeches. “In case you doubt my words, there is your proof. If you wish to be intimate tomorrow when you aren’t entranced by the romance of the evening, I will do whatever you request of me.”

Nate released George’s hand and then George shifted so he lay beside him again, clasping their hands and continuing to watch the stars. They talked for a couple more hours. George told Nate all about how his father had treated him and how nothing was more important to the man than the earldom. Nate said he might have taken George’s father to task on his behalf if the man were still alive.

Nate shared some details of his childhood and his parents. His father had also passed, but his mother was still alive. Nate said he wondered if she might suspect his preference for men but indicated that she had said nothing about it if so.

They talked about their favorite colors, foods, ice flavors from Gunter’s, songs, and anything else they could think of. Nate teased George about being an Oxford man, since he had attended Cambridge .

The comfort they found with each other was as if they had known each other for years. George hated for it to end. As mad and fast as it was, one thing was for certain. He was in love. He wasn’t certain in which moment it had happened, but without question, Nate was what had been missing from his life.

“Look, a shooting star!” Nate exclaimed. “Make a wish.”

George watched as Nate closed his eyes, and he did the same. He wished silently to himself that the perfect man beside him might love him one day.

“What did you wish for?” George asked.

Nate shook his head. “I can’t tell you. Or else it might not come true.”

George grinned at him. He loved how romantic Nate could be. In truth, he already cared deeply about Nate.

“We better get back and try to get a few hours of sleep,” Nate said.

“You are probably right.”

“I usually am,” Nate teased.

They packed the blanket and empty wine bottle into the satchel and set off together, hand in hand. Once they reached the side of the house, Nate pulled George against him, then placed several light kisses along his lips and jaw. “Go up first. I’ll follow after several minutes.”

“Nate? ”

“Yes, handsome?”

George stared into his eyes, wanting to tell Nate how he felt about him. To end their perfect evening with a declaration of his affection. His body trembled, afraid to be vulnerable, but knowing it was true.

“I—” He swallowed hard. “What I mean to say is that I…well…I am feeling things for you.”

Nate kissed George’s brow.

“Me too,” Nate said, cupping his cheek with his hand.

“You do?” George asked, a tear escaping down his cheek.

“I do, and it’s frightening. I’m uncertain what to think about it.”

George nodded in agreement. That was an understatement. He did not know what it meant for them, or how a future might work. Or if they would even try to have a future after the house party. Those were problems for tomorrow, perhaps even next week. They would have to see how the next several days unfolded.

George kissed him again until Nate broke the kiss. “Go on,” Nate urged. “Get some sleep. I’ll see you at breakfast.”

Reluctant to leave Nate, George did as he said and crept back up the terrace and didn’t stop until he reached his chamber. Once on the other side of his door, he leaned against it, his heart pounding at the events of the evening. He felt his entire world had changed within a matter of a couple of days, and he wasn’t certain what it would all mean. But he smiled because Nate had feelings for him, too.