Page 56 of The Malice of Moons and Mages (The Broken Bonds of Magic #1)

Fifty-Six

Lua

L ua leaned back in the unforgiving chair, absorbing the Mage council’s bickering about insignificant ceremonial details. What words should honor the late Rajav—whom everyone hated—while praising the new one—whom they feared.

Selene’s absence since leaving Uduary was of greatest concern. Though the Silence scouts hadn’t found her party on the passable routes, it was understood she was headed to the monastery. He’d already developed a strategy with the Silence mages for when she might appear at the gates. He couldn’t risk sacrificing all the lives in the monastery for Bolin, and it was unfortunate that he was Selene’s biggest weakness. He would need to conceal that from Audra.

The council had droned on for hours, with Sharine casting occasional furtive glances at him, when he noticed a sense of absence. The awareness came slowly, quickening his pulse. He closed his eyes and examined the thread, but it was the same. Silver and green entwined with some places thicker than others.

Studying the people seated around him made him wonder if he was becoming as paranoid as his father. A coronation should be celebrated with friends and family. Yet Lua doubted the few friendships he had, other than Fallue, and his only living relation was Selene, who’d bought Dain’s betrayal with his daughter’s life.

If not for Audra, he’d be utterly alone.

Perhaps that was why he’d forgiven her earlier deception. The guards had ceased following her, because they feared what Lua might do if they forced her to return. He could almost sympathize with them. And Audra was right, she couldn’t go anywhere without him knowing. But her omission of who she’d met with wounded a scar still tender.

Maybe it was nothing, but the guards reported two Moon soldiers exiting the grounds soon after she met him. They returned to a camp on the fringes of the village, and Audra hadn’t left their rooms since. Lua would deal with those soldiers after the coronation. He’d have to set a precedent. Boundaries had to be clear. No one had access to the Raani without his permission.

That she didn’t grasp the complexity of her request was clear. The political battles that would come from aiding the Westerners and another war with the Starlings would test all of those who professed their loyalty. He didn’t know where the funds would come from. It would be difficult to expect his tribe to carry the burden of reparations when each winter brought their people to the edge of starvation.

He could hear the arguments, see them unfolding with vigor and contention, but the look in Audra’s eyes and the pull of her heart held greater influence over him. The Moon Rajav shouldn’t help her, but Lua couldn’t refuse. The atrocities committed against her people deserved attention. That he’d been a part of those events left him ashamed and committed to doing better for her. Soon, he would tell her about the things he’d done and hope for forgiveness. There was still so much to say, but they had time.

He strummed their thread and waited. Her reply didn’t come. Another strum went unanswered. His sudden grunt brought nervous looks from those around the table.

“Do you disagree, Oji?” Fallue looked drained. The demands of the last week had taken a toll. Fallue had declared only a year ago that he’d die with Emaline, his anchor. Rajav Li-Hun had argued with him, but Fallue would have none of it. He didn’t want a life without her, and Lua understood. He’d wished for death after Eras, but with Audra, he wanted to explore centuries.

“What’s left to discuss?” Lua asked. He tugged again on the thread. The connection shivered, as if it were blocked. Suspicion grappled with his restraint, though his voice remained calm. “Everyone is tired. Let’s deal with the remaining issues tomorrow. Be prepared to quickly argue your points and make concessions.”

“But we still have—” Fallue started.

“Tomorrow. You need rest.”

Lua didn’t wait for the parting formalities before exiting the room. He hastened his pace halfway down the hallway. The guards struggled to clear the servants from his path as he took the steps two and three at a time.

He threw the bedroom doors open and rushed inside. Audra lay curled on the couch atop a pile of scrolls that Fallue had given her to study. Her brow furrowed at the cool breeze that entered with him. A fire still burned; shadows danced low across the walls.

The thread purred between them again. She must have been sleeping dreamlessly. It had been foolish to doubt her.

Scooping her gently in his arms, he carried her to the bed. Pulling off her green robe and outer layers before covering her with the thick blanket, he sighed with relief. She curled against him when he slid into bed beside her, throwing an arm across his chest.

“It’s late,” she mumbled. “Or early.”

He kissed the top of her head. “Bureaucracy takes time.”

Her eyes slitted open. “Everything all right?”

“It’s nothing. I was just worried.”

“About?”

“You.”

“Me?” She leaned up on one elbow.

“I reached out, and you weren’t there.” He licked his lips. “It reminded me of what happened with Dain.”

She stiffened. “What happened with Dain?”

“I’ve told you.”

“No, you’ve only told me a little. Tell me the rest, from the time he was anchored until his end. ”

He swallowed nervously. “I don’t know if you want to hear it.”

She curled a lock of his hair between her fingers. “You need to say it, or it will be a wound that continues to bleed.”

The Moons discouraged any talk of one’s feelings or failings. Tight regulation of one’s emotions was expected but since he’d met Audra, his feelings were tumultuous, and he still felt exposed from discussing his mother. He hesitated.

Audra brought her face inches from his. “Speak, Moonie.”

He laughed, and the words poured out, tentatively at first. Dain wasn’t his first choice, nor his second. But the Songs insisted Elicia would be a better fit for Brav, and the other anchor declined at the last moment. Dain was a quiet man but ferocious when he needed to be. He became like a brother. They laughed at each other’s jokes, pulling pranks, and sharing hard truths.

Anchors aren’t allowed familial attachments. Their entire existence was dedicated to their mage. No marriage, no children, unless it was with the one they were bonded with, like his parents. So when a woman came forward claiming that Dain had fathered a young girl it was handled quietly. Lua kept them well fed and homed, gave extra money to keep everyone quiet. If Li-Hun knew about them, they’d have been killed straightaway.

Selene had used them to turn Dain. After his parents died, he and Dain had gone to the isle of Shuray, east of Callaway. Selene was supposed to join them. They would strategize before standing together before the Council and help their people find a new way forward.

“But Selene never showed,” Audra said.

He shook his head. “The Mirren arrived with those I’d thought loyal to me. As I killed them—in self defense—Dain took advantage of my distraction. He’d been distant since we left Uduary. His emotions and thoughts normally so open, were cut off, but I didn’t have time to wonder. It wasn’t until he twisted the bolt into my back with only a wince that I realized my foolishness. He carried me onto the boat himself, took my robes and wiped my brow. All without a word.”

“How?”

“A relic the Rajav kept. Bloodstone.”

Audra paled. “But the bond? ”

“It was still there. I could draw energy to live, but it took days of doing nothing to cultivate enough strength to fight the bolt.”

“And then?”

“Then I siphoned everyone I could until I was able to sever the bond and sink the ship. There was no other way.” Lua’s voice was strained.

Audra brushed the hair from his eyes, cool fingers smoothed the creases of his brow. “You had no choice. But that doesn’t mean you still can’t hurt from it. His betrayal was brutal, but he knew what might happen. So when you couldn’t find me earlier...?”

He shrugged. “It’s foolish.”

“Go on.”

“I thought that somehow Selene had gotten to you.” The words sounded small and vulnerable.

She rose to her knees and kissed his forehead. “We’ve been tethered together all this time and yet you still question my stubbornness?” Her smile was gentle. “But there is something you must understand.”

His chest constricted.

“I want things in this life that don’t involve this unchosen role of anchor. My tribe, my family. The dragons. My goals have not and will not change,” she said. “But I am desperately and stupidly loyal. I won’t betray you.”

He pulled her close, breathing in the scent of her hair. Their hearts thrummed together. They each had their secrets, but their connection was true. She loved him, even if she hadn’t said it yet.

“I need to tell you something,” she said. “But you must promise you won’t be angry.”

He pulled back. “I can’t promise until I know what it is.”

“Promise to try.” She slid from the bed, taking her warmth with her. Rummaging through the bag that lay crumpled on the floor, she clutched something before returning to him. A black cord dangled from her fist.

Lua chilled. “Audra?”

“Xiang gave it to me at the ruins. I didn’t truly believe him. Didn’t know what had been done with it.” The bloodstone was dull in her hand.

Slowly, he took it from her, running his fingers over the edges with a look of disgust. “You’ve had this since the ruins?” She nodded. Her worries and fears trickled toward him. “You wore it today.”

Her cheeks flushed. “For the first time.”

“Why?”

“Lua, I can’t give up everything I’ve been working toward.”

He fidgeted with the rock, attempting to hide this fresh pain from her. “And you wouldn’t give these up for me? To stay by my side. I promised to help you.”

“But there are limitations on how you’ll help. I felt what you didn’t say. If there were another way, then maybe.” Her shoulders slumped. “Would you give up being Rajav for me? Or give up your magic to stand beside me if I asked?”

He stared, dumbfounded. He had no answer to give her. If he did either of those things, he’d be powerless, useless to her.

“You wouldn’t,” she said. “And I wouldn’t ask you to. So, please, don’t expect the same of me. I’ll stand beside you through the coronation and celebrations. But after that, I must find a way to help Ferin and Zin. There is still so much to do.”

“You’d leave me?” His voice was weak in his ears.

“It’s not like that. We can find another way to make this work.”

“The bond won’t let you go far.”

“There are teachings in the Western scrolls that might make it possible,” she said. “That’s why I wore the stone. I didn’t want to worry you. But I guess I did anyway. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what had happened before.”

The stone was heavier in his hand than it had any right to be. He bit his lip, staring at the greenish-black surface, studying the flecks of blood red. He thrust it back at her. “Keep it.” His snapped. “Wear it when you want. Block me if you must.”

“Lua—”

“If this is what must happen to keep you with me, then so be it. Do what you want.” His voice was hard as he shoved the covers off and stood to leave. Being near her bruised his heart.

“Stop,” she gripped his hand, her magic staying him. He shook his head, though his feet refused to move. Gently, she tugged him back onto the bed and cradled his face with her hands .

“I’m here now. I am with you.”

He looked into her eyes, the insult slowly waning.

She smiled tenderly. “Do you hear me? I am talking about this because I want to be with you and still manage to be me. Not just your Raani, but Audra, a foul-mouthed Westerner.”

Every other anchor had lived for him, but Audra was nothing like them. It was daunting and confusing, spitting in the face of everything he’d known. But when she looked at him like that, his soul bowed to her. He’d never been so sure he wanted to live as he was when with her.

She kissed his forehead. “Don’t leave like this.”

Her touch sang through him, coaxing their thread and drawing him close. Their lips connected as his hurt dissolved into passion. He pressed her onto her back and stared into her face.

“I’ll never leave you, Audra Shan.” Lua’s breath trembled. “You are everything to me. I love you.”