Page 38 of The Mafia Assassin’s Redemption (Mafia Obsession #2)

THIRTY

harry

What the actual fuck?

He wants me to shoot him?

He wants to be rid of me that much he’ll take death over having to deal with me?

I glare at him, eyes blurred, throat raw, entire being aching for him. We should be… I don’t know… joyous that we got through this, for Pete’s sake.

At the very least.

He should be fighting for me, not asking me to shoot him.

That’s not much to ask.

Fuck it. We should be dissecting what she told us about each other. She thought we loved each other and…

I stop the thoughts from racing through my mind, the gun still pointed at him, although my finger’s nowhere near the trigger.

“I should shoot you for being such a moron, Torin. I fucking love you and you still think I hate you. How can you be so smart and emotionally stunted? You can’t see the difference?”

“Can you?” he snaps back. Then shock and realization at what I just confessed seeps into his expression, his eyes softening.

“Yes.” But for a moment, the blackness of despair and anger swamp me, and I can’t see a thing, but maybe it’s hard to see sometimes through all of the complicated emotions.

There was a lot of hatred for him, poisoning me for a lot of years. Bitterness, resentment, remorse, regret. And survivor’s guilt has festered down deep in both of us.

I don’t even know if I fully understand just how twisted and complex our “us” is, or how simple it might actually be.

But there’s one thing I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt. I drop the gun and give him a shove. “You wanted to know if I could forgive you and I can’t. But do you know why?”

“Of course I do. You think I killed your parents.”

I slide my arms around his neck. “I went down to your basement, saw your computer, stole a thumb drive and copied the files I saw about me and my family. I haven’t looked at them, though. Do you know why?”

He doesn’t answer, but his stillness, that waiting stillness, brings life to my heart, like a flutter of a breeze that’s full of hope.

“It’s why I can’t forgive you.”

I take a breath and wait until his gaze hits me again, and I cringe because I never want to see that bleakness again.

“I know,” he begins. “You?—”

“You don’t.” I drop a hand down to his heart and lay it flat and look up at him.

“I can’t ever forgive you because there’s nothing to forgive.

And I knew that before today, but I had to work out why I didn’t hate you and haven’t actively hated you for a while.

I’ve been falling in love with you, yes, but I needed to know it wasn’t because of or in spite of hate. I just fell in love with you.”

A lump forms in the back of my throat.

“And it hurts me to see you beat yourself up. When I go back over things we’ve talked about, I know you’ve never said you killed them. And when you came into those flames, I was so scared. It plants a deep thing in a kid’s head, but you got me out of there. You protected me.”

“Got a scar and everything.” He tries to sound all ballsy, but there’s wonderment to it and it only deepens my love more. “You forgive me?”

“No, there’s nothing in that to forgive.” My lips lift into a playful smirk. “But the threesome comment will take a while to get over. That woman was hot.”

He frowns. “She was? I didn’t notice.”

I’m not experienced, but I’m not so na?ve I’d believe it. From anyone else. But from him, I do. Because he’s holding me like I might break, like I’m the most important thing in his world.

I look at him and edge him closer to the bed. “Do you forgive me?”

“For what?” His frown deepens and he slips a hand over mine that covers his heart and moves them both to mine.

“Blaming you for the deaths of my parents for so long?”

He blows out a breath. “Jesus, fuck, Harry, you were just a kid. I should have?—”

I don’t wait for him to finish. I pull his head down and kiss him, long and sweet, and when we break apart, my heart is thumping like it’s about to shatter with joy.

“Back at my apartment,” I say, “I blamed myself for you losing Siobhan?—”

“Don’t. I don’t care about her. She lost anything of mine, any part of me, the second she threatened you.”

I nod. “Maybe, but I was so swamped with guilt and disgust, and it hit me how it must have felt for you for so long, and?— ”

Torin tumbles me down to the bed and swings a leg over me, holding me in place.

“I won’t allow it,” he says. “Water under bridges go in one direction. Once it flows past, it’s all gone, washed clean, and we don’t have a dam for the bad shit.

I’ve become wise since you said you love me.

Do you? Because, Harry, you’ll have to escape in the dead of night for any chance to rid yourself of me.

If you love me, there’s no escape at all. ”

“Blood wedding. I’m yours.”

He grins and slides a hand up beneath my skirt. “That you are.”

I moan as he starts to stroke my panties.

“Mmm, Torin?”

“Yeah?” He kisses and sucks at my neck, then slides a finger of his free hand up under my choker, pulling at it. And every bite sends electric thrills through me.

I should feel bad Siobhan’s dead, but I don’t. I didn’t kill her. He didn’t either. The shot came through the window. I saw that.

But the thoughts slip away as he slips a finger under the elastic of my panties to push into the wetness of my pussy. “I need to see my uncle.”

“You’re not that close,” he says, starting to stroke into me, hooking his fingers and making me moan.

“We’re not.” I somehow manage the words.

“Besides…” He pulls his fingers out, flips me over, and lowers his zipper. “It’s past visiting hours.”

“You win. As long as you tie me up.”

“Oh, my Dirty Little Harry…” His cock pushes against my ass. “Do I have treats for you, including some long and lovely silks.”

And then he pushes into my pussy and a gasp escapes my lips at his delicious invasion.

“But I’m your master, remember that. I tell you what to do.” The heat in his voice is only matched by the love that runs through it, and he fucks me with slow, long, deep strokes that make me shudder and moan.

He fits me perfectly and I hold my hands together, liking the way he takes control, the way he reads me. When I used that whip on him, the power terrified me until I understood what was happening. He had power, too. And trust.

So I give him trust, and we share the power. Implicit and within the domination.

But as he builds us up, there’s a slight tremor to him that whispers what just happened, of how fragile and strong this thing is between us, the sudden realization of how absolutely precious…

A tremor starts to rumble inside of me, too. Because I get it. Every last thing.

This is real. Incredible. A gift. He is my protector. Always.

And as he reaches around and strokes my clit, I come, my body spasming against him, his cock swelling in me as he groans and fills me with his hot cum.

We collapse onto the mattress together. The celebration of love and life and us not being over.

It’s just our beginning.

Torin kisses me like I’m all the gifts in the world, and I kiss him back because he’s the only one I want and need.

“Harry,” he whispers. There are a thousand things behind it, all packed in tight. But we don’t need it. I don’t, anyway. He saved me today. Like he always does.

“It’s okay,” I whisper back. In those words, I tell him that I get it.

That he has a past, and if one day he mourns her again, I’ll be okay.

For him, I will be. Because Torin Murphy might not be a good man, but to me, he’s the absolute best man in the world.

My savoir made of smoke and flame and fierce determination.

A man who’s gentle and hard. Who can discipline and bring such pleasure.

A man who’s smart and funny and mine.

A man who loves me like I love him.

With everything I am.

He squeezes me tight. “I just wanted to say I fucking love you.”

“Good. Because I love you, too.” And I smile and nuzzle him. “I’m a little obsessed. A girl who can wield flowers and guns. If you run, I’ll chase you down.”

I mean it like he means it.

But that’s fine because he’s not going anywhere… and neither am I.

Torin Murphy loves me.

And I love him right back.