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P iers had never wanted anything more desperately than he did now. There was no time to waste—Belinda mustn’t be allowed to become bored or frustrated.
“Piers, what on earth are you doing?”
“I’ll only be a moment—be patient, I beg you.” He wanted to do this properly. At least, as properly as one could while half-naked, partly wrapped in a sheet, and with none of the trappings normally connected with a proposal.
“Piers.”
“No, seriously, just bear with me—there’ll be one in one of the prop boxes. Ah! Here we are.”
He dived into a chest containing fake jewelry, mostly made from paste and bronze, and all of exaggerated size so it could be seen by the audience.
Aha! That would do. He grabbed the ring and hastened back to Belinda, looking soft and glorious on their improvised bed.
Her blue eyes seemed huge in her elfin face, and she looked solemn.
“Piers,” she began again, but he pressed a finger against her lips.
“My beloved Belinda,” he said, getting down on one knee, “Will you make me the happiest man alive and agree to be my wife?”
He waited, his thudding heart seemingly the only sound in the room. He held out the ring for her inspection, a gaudy piece he’d seen on Desdemona’s hand during a performance of Othello. “It won’t fit, of course, but it’s only a token. I had hoped it would amuse you.”
She held his gaze, and there was no smile on her face. The gay, giggling young woman of a few hours ago had been replaced by someone who seemed far older and weighed down with troubles. A sliver of fear slid down his spine.
After some difficulty with the sheet, he crouched next to her on the heap of costumes and took her cold hand in his.
“Do you doubt me, my darling? If I appear foolish, it is only because I am so deliriously happy. And it is you that has made me so. You have already agreed to a false engagement—had you never considered what it might be like to be genuinely betrothed to me?”
“Oh, Piers—I don’t want to hurt you. What we have found together—it’s better than I could ever have imagined. But how can I trust words spoken in the heat of the moment? In the cold light of day, you will regret having made your offer.”
Her negativity unnerved him. He regretted nothing, but perhaps she did. Had he just made the most stupid mistake of his life?
“Then don’t hurt me. Marry me. It would solve your problems, wouldn’t it?
I swear on all that’s sacred that I’ll give you whatever freedom you need, and you never need to worry about money again.
I also swear to be faithful—you already know that my relationship with Sally and Katie is purely a front.
I have no mistress and never will. What I mean is—why would I ever leave your side, or seek the company of any other female but you? ”
He pressed his temples. Was he going in the right direction with this? He hadn’t had any time to think about what he was going to say—he only knew what his heart told him. And there was only one thing that could stop his heart from shattering into a million pieces. He needed a simple “yes.”
“You’re very kind, Piers, and I’m sure that you’ll do those things and be good to me.
But I worry that you have been pressured into this by the requirements of Society—that kiss being witnessed by your father propelled us along this path, and after tonight, you feel you have to do the right thing by me.
But we might escape detection. There are plenty of disguises in this room, and if the first person to unlock it is Phillips, then I’m sure he won’t spread any rumors for fear of losing his position. I can be masked. I can be anybody.”
She was becoming remote from him, building up problems and obstacles, coming up with solutions... anything to avoid having to marry him.
“Forget about Society. Forget about reputations. I’ve spent enough time in your company to know that I want to spend more, and I’m jealous that some other man will win your heart.
Call it selfishness, but I want you to be mine and nobody else’s.
Is that selfish?” He took her hand, and pressed it against his chest. “Can you feel my heart?”
She nodded.
“It is beating for you, only for you. There is nothing I want more in the world than to spend the rest of my days with you.”
“Piers—you have come to mean so much to me, and I don’t think I’ve ever met a better man.
Admittedly, I didn’t like you at first, but I’ve learned not to be so judgmental of other people.
But even if I trust in your promises, there are still aspects of your life that make me uncomfortable.
I know they may not seem important in this strange world between worlds, where magic and romance are intertwined and anything seems possible.
But you have your son to think of. I would hate myself if I ever came between a father and his child, particularly a loyal father like yourself who has put up with so much over the years and never had any joy. ”
He saw her blink away a tear and knew she was thinking of what she’d missed after her baby was stillborn.
He kissed her tears away, and held her against him, resting his chin on her hair, and wishing with all his heart that she could feel his sincerity beating through him.
Yes—he would have to find a way to ensure that his son had a good life and Charlotte was happy.
He would live in hope that one day, he could persuade her to let him at least have access to Oliver.
But what would happen when he and Belinda had their own children?
How would Belinda feel if he adopted Oliver as his heir, thereby depriving her offspring of their inheritance?
“Thank you for your compliments, my darling. I understand your concerns about Oliver. I have them too, and I’m glad you’ve opened my eyes to the potential problems. But they are only potential, and they may never amount to anything—there are always ways in which such things can be overcome.
You mustn’t be afraid. I’m not going to disappear, I’ll not put my life at risk, like Lieutenant Coyle.
I will always be there for you, and whatever problems we encounter, we’ll face them together and conquer them.
So please, please, don’t worry about Oliver and Charlotte. Just say you’ll marry me.”
He understood entirely why she wanted assurances. And she wasn’t just thinking of herself—she was thinking of him too, bless her heart.
“I—I cannot ask this of you, Piers. It’s about your mine, Wheal Betty.”
“Hmm. I could change its name, you know. How does ‘Wheal Belinda’ sound to you?”
“That’s not what I meant. I’m thinking about what you’re mining and what it’s used for. The lead that’s used to make ammunition.”
He drew back from her, puzzled. “What’s wrong with lead shot?”
“Its sole purpose is to kill people. I understand that we need it to destroy Napoleon and bring balance back into Europe. But the fact is that those who die in battle always leave someone behind. Those soldiers, the faceless, blue-clad ranks of the French have mothers, sisters, wives, children, elderly fathers—they have families who’ll be devastated by their loss.
Some of those soldiers would probably never have risked their lives had they not been staring extreme poverty in the face.
Not every man goes to war because he enjoys killing.
William went because he had an elderly mother.
She suffered from the palsy most terribly, and he joined the Army so he could send his wages back to pay for her physician and keep her out of pain.
Then she died and he needed the money for her funeral. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Of course, he did. His jaw set as he recalled the first time Maman had told him the true story of his origins when she felt he was old enough to deal with the knowledge of his parents’ murder.
The desire for revenge had been with him almost half his life, and obtaining the mine, and increasing its output of lead meant he’d been playing his part in the destruction of those guilty of killing his family.
How could he afford to let that go unpunished?
He’d sworn to the spirits of his mother and father that he would avenge them, somehow, someday.
Was Belinda now asking him to renege on his promise?
“I know what you’re thinking, Piers, and I think you had every reason to set out on the path you have taken.
But killing Frenchmen won’t bring your mother and father back.
You have had a good life in England—foster parents who dote on you.
Is that not enough for you? If you have children, are you going to fill them with the same hatred that you have carried in your heart? ”
He leaned toward her again, resting his forehead against hers.
“Oh, Belinda, Belinda! You don’t know what you ask.
Would you have me sell the mine entirely?
It has been close to my heart ever since I was a boy.
It gave me a raison d’être —you cannot understand the thrill of burrowing deep into the Earth by candlelight and seeing the glitter of minerals in tunnel walls.
There is a special kind of magic involved in producing metal from the earth, which you can’t imagine. Please don’t ask me to give it up.”
She took his hands in hers. “I know it’s a lot to ask, and I don’t want you to think I’m bargaining with you.
It is just the way I feel. I cannot help but think of those poor families.
Do the French veterans have benefactors like Mrs. Dove-Lyon, who gives well-paid jobs to damaged soldiers?
Or will they have to take to the streets to beg like those we see in all parts of London? ”
Warfare was terrible—Piers understood that.
He also accepted that Belinda thought it a terrible waste of life and resources.
But it was far more complicated, all about power, and land, and politics, and religion.
In his experience, these things were generally of no interest to the ladies of the ton .
But Belinda was different. Perhaps, in time, he could explain it all to her, and she would accept his reasoning.
Or... was there another way to resolve the question?
He reached for her, and she came into his arms. The wetness on her cheeks was cool against his chest. He hadn’t realized that his proposal would tear her apart like this. Neither had he realized how much damage a refusal would do to him.
“Let me ask my question another way. Do you want to marry me, Belinda?”
He waited, scarcely daring to breathe. When he felt her nod, the life returned to his veins.
“Then I have an idea. We will solve the Charlotte problem, so you needn’t worry about that.
And regarding the mine—what if I were to use the profits to offset the harm caused by the creation of lead shot?
Or I could sell the place and use the proceeds for a good cause.
” He’d miss the mine, of course, but Belinda’s happiness was more important.
“If you can think of something, I’d be very grateful.
” Her voice was muffled, and he held her closer.
They had both made a difficult journey together—a journey of understanding, forgiveness, and enlightenment.
Having come so far, he had no intention of giving up now.
She would be offering herself to him, body and soul, if she married him.
It was only fair that he should give something in return, that he should make a sacrifice, a grand gesture.
“What if I were to use money from the mine to finance a veterans’ hospital?
Your brother-in-law and sister run the Foundlings’ Hospital to which I contribute, and I already know a bit about charitable institutions.
I’m sure the earl would guide me in setting up a new foundation.
I’m not talking about helping the kind of veterans employed by Mrs. Dove-Lyon—I’m talking about those who are even more broken—those with missing limbs, those who are blinded or deafened and are forced to beg in the street.
You would be glad, would you not, if more of those men had a roof over their heads, and a decent meal in their stomachs? ”
She tilted her head up to him, and his heart ached at the expression of love and joy on her face. “You’d do that? For me? Truly, I don’t deserve you.”
He smiled, and kissed her, softly and lingeringly. “Incorrect, my darling. I do not deserve you. Now come on. Don’t keep me waiting.”
She flung her arms around his neck and embraced him, then held her hand out for the ring still clutched in his fist.
“Yes, Mr. Piers Darvill. I will marry you.”
Joy exploded in his heart and he picked her up and danced with her around the room. She laughed at him, her face alight with pleasure, and he knew in that moment that he’d learned to love again. They would be married at the earliest opportunity.
Nothing and no one would stand in their way.
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