Page 23

You know the moment where dread fills you and you feel the walls closing in on you? Yeah, that is what it feels like when I think of Xander going to fight the rogues. I always thought if I don't let my fears show they'll eventually go away but I was so wrong. Running away from your problems doesn't make them go away, instead they creep up behind you and suck all the happiness left in you.

But I guess we are the ones who give our fear more power over than our faith. Be it in ourselves, or others. Why does everything have to be so damn complicated? Is living a happy life to much to ask? I know I can't even think of a life without Xander, my wolf would drive me insane knowing our mate is not with us but the dread I feel isn't only from my wolf. The hollowness I feel is mine alone and not Lia's. Xander is my miracle, even though he doesn't act like one.

'Wow you're a comedic genius.' Lia snickers breaking my thought process.

'I'd like to go mad with over thinking in private, thank you very much.' I reply and block her before she can come up with yet another remark.

After Xander announced about preparing the army, I excused myself and left the conference room. None of them should see their Luna being a crybaby. I made my way to the private gym room and without bandaging my hands, I prepared to hit the punching bag.

I have to be strong for the people. I chanted in my mind landing hits after hits on the punching bag. My arms started to ache yet I couldn't stop myself. Not knowing when in all the hitting tears started cascading down my face but I didn't pay heed to them and continued. I didn't stop when my hands started to hurt, I didn't stop when my headache grew, I didn't stop when my knuckles went all red and bruises formed but I did stop when two arms wrapped around my waist from the back, one hand coming forward to stop me from punching while the other secured on my waist. I leaned back and closed my eyes my head on Xander's chest, his chin on my head. For sometime only the sound of my heavy breathing could be heard until I turned myself in his arms burring my face in his chest and let all my barriers down. Then the sound of my sobs and his soothing voice promising me everything will be alright resonated in the room.

My knees buckled and Xander quickly carried me bridal style to our room. Exhausted I laid my head on his shoulder trying to find peace in my mate's arms. As we entered he put me down and I made my way towards the bathroom. Taking Xanders black hoodie and my trousers from the closet I quickly took a warm water bath.

As I came out Xander took my hand, made me sit on the bed with him beside and applied gel on my knuckles then bandaged them. I looked at him the entire time. His hair all messed up, his back straight with tension and his eyes looked tired. I gently combed his hair with my fingers, then placed my hand on his face. His eyes closed and his hand came up to hold mine after placing a soft kiss on my palm. We stayed like this for a minute then he opened his eyes and looked at me with love and worry. The grey in his eyes a darker shade than before.

"Hurting yourself doesn't make the pain any less, Cassandra." He says softly then gets up and lays on the bed turning away from me.

Cassandra? Not love or Rose? I wanted to cry.I got up as well and went to lay beside him, hugging him from the back and throwing my leg on top of his.

"I'm sorry, Alec." I say placing a kiss on his cheek and he turned his head towards me capturing my lips in a passionate kiss. Pulling away I laid my forehead against his.

"Alec? Not love of my life or Xander? Should I cry?" He says and I laugh lightly.

"Stop reading my thoughts, caveman."

"Your block was down." He says turning completely towards me. I didn't reply and a comfortable silence fell in the room.

"Do you really have to go?" I ask Alec fiddling with his hands as we lay. My head on his chest, his one arm around my waist while the other in my hands.

"Sweetheart I know you're worried, but I'll be fine. I promise," He nuzzles his head in my hair, planting a soft kiss on my cheek.

"Besides I'll be back before you know it." I scoff at his comment and he tightens his hold on me. I just don't want him to go. What if something happens? What if he gets injured? What if lost him? What if he never comes back?

"You're overthinking again, mon amour." Alec says firmly turning me on my side so I was facing him. His hand cups my face, gently caressing it before holding my hand once again. He pulls himself on his elbow hovering over me and plants his lips on mine. My eyes close on their own account.

I gently move my lips against his, my hands finding their way into his hair pulling him closer. Our lips move in sync, and damn the sparks. He pulls away, then kisses my forehead before planting a series of kisses all over my face. I giggle pushing his face away and this only encourages him.

"Stop it." I say laughing, squirming in his hold.

"Never." He says grinning attacking me with his kisses once again. I grab his face gently in my hands and smile at him. His eyes light up at my smile and he gives me a peck on the lips. His arms wrap around me, tangling our legs together, resting his head on my chest. My fingers move towards his hair, I push back some of the hair that fell on his face and plant a kiss on his forehead.

"You're my lifeline, Rose. I cannot imagine a life without you. You're everything I've ever wanted and so much more. This, laying with you in our room, is home." He closes his eyes pulling me closer to him, not leaving the space even for air to come between us. My heart warms at his words.

"Promise me you'll come back." Tears sting my eyes as I rest my chin on his head. He moves a little, placing a kiss on my neck just below my ear where his mark will be and I close my eyes.

"No matter what my love, I will always find my way back to you."