Page 13 of The Love You Hate

He smiles. “You have to plant cherry tomatoes. They’re my favorite. And,” he says, pausing, “No more stupid jokes. I can’t take it. Our friendship hinges on your ability to only tell smooth jokes, or none at all.”

I scoff. “That’s so offensive.”

“Give me a hard rule and make it even, then.”

He sighs long and heavy.

“That’s easy. Never try to kill me.” Turning, I don’t wait for his reaction, and head for the side door I came in.

“Don’t try to kill me first!”he calls at my back.

Before I shut the door, I call out, “I’ll poison the tomato plants and let nature take its course.”

I can’t be sure, but I think he was laughing. I also can’t be sure, but it made me feel weird in a way.