Page 87 of The Lost and Found Girl

She’d said the nice things. Every one. That was what you did when someone was dying.

She’d said he was a good father. He was, when he was around.

She’d said she was glad for their time together.

In truth, she was just glad they had the kids.

But she’d swallowed it all down. Her truth, her pain.

But these pictures stayed up on the wall, not because of the husband he’d been, but because of the husband she wanted everyone to believe he was.

“You were kind of a terrible husband,” she said, right to the picture. “And I loved you. And I still do, really. Just not like that. Not for a long time. So. Just so you know.”

The little speech hadn’t done anything to make her feel better, because nothing had changed. Nothing at all.

And she was going to have to get herself together so that she could have dinner tonight.

One thing was certain, she was not going to hide in the house. She was not going to let Chase know that he got to her.

So she took a deep breath. She had eggs to collect.

9

I hate this town. I want to go away and write for a big newspaper. I want to go to London, or New York. I just want something bigger.

MARIANNE MCKEE’S DIARY, AGE 14

MARIANNE

“How about we go to the toy section, you guys?”

Ruby looked down at Riley and Hazel and extended her hands, smiling brightly. Marianne glanced over at Lydia, who was looking around the brightly lit, large store appearing slightly dazed. She hadn’t thought about it, but she wondered if this was the first time Lydia had ventured away from Pear Blossom since Mac’s death. They had talked about a lot of things, but whether or not she had gone into Medford to go to one of the big box stores was not one of the things.

“Lydia?” Ruby addressed her sister.

“Yeah,” Lydia said, blinking. “Sure. Don’t ask your aunt Ruby for anything.”

“You can ask for things,” Ruby said, leading her niece and nephew off.

“She’s going to spoil them,” Lydia said.

“So what?” Marianne asked. “That’s not your problem. It’s Ruby’s problem. Let her handle it.”

Lydia laughed. “I don’t do letting other people handle it very well.”

She couldn’t help it. She looked over at Dahlia, who shot her a quick glance. So, clearly she couldn’t help it either. Luckily, Lydia didn’t really notice the exchange. The one that had clearly said, we are aware that you are emotionally stunted.

Ava was standing a very teenage ten paces away from them, pacing in a circle and ignoring them extremely purposefully.

“Come on,” Marianne said, beckoning her daughter. “Let’s go look at clothes.”

“I can look by myself,” Ava said, walking quickly in front of them toward the junior section.

“I want to see them,” Marianne said. “I’m paying, after all.”

And she wanted to spend some time with Ava. Of course, the trip to Medford had turned into a whole family circus, with her sisters and her niece and nephew coming along as well. Though, in some ways she imagined it was better than if she had just tried to come with Ava by herself. At least she was excited to spend time with Ruby, and often with Dahlia. The cool young aunts who didn’t have mom energy like herself and Lydia.

Ava grumbled something, and at this point, Marianne knew better than to ask exactly what her daughter had said, unless she wanted to get into grounding her in the middle of the store. And she did not. They were supposed to be having a nice day.