Page 23 of The London Chance
I promised them I’d come back, but it wasn’t that simple.
Roman and I both knew it.
Later that night,we made love with an intensity that shook me to my core. We were speaking a new language, asking for things we didn’t know the words for. It would have been too easy to let the silence take over, but I couldn’t leave this way. I had to say something.
I rested my hand under my pillow and studied the shape of him in the moonlight.
“I’m not saying good-bye,” I whispered. “Don’t be offended when I don’t wake you in the morning.”
Roman rested his hand on my hip. “I’ll be up.”
“Don’t. It’ll be easier if I just…fade.”
“Not for me.”
A single tear trickled down my cheek. “I know.”
“We can make it work,” he offered, his voice gravelly and awkward.
I didn’t know if that was possible, but I kept quiet. I let him pull me close, sighing around the lump in my throat when Roman gently pushed my head to his heart and held me tight.
That was when I knew this heartache would follow me home.
Leave it to me to fall desperately in love with a man who could never be mine.
* * *
Light rain streakedthe cab’s windows on the way to the airport. I checked my luggage and stood in a brutally long line for security and another line for coffee. I found a chair facing the runway and watched the crew, dressed from head to toe in neon yellow, wrestling luggage onto the plane as though it were the most interesting thing in the world.
Truthfully, it was avoidance. I was afraid to look at my phone. If Roman messaged me, I’d be sad. If he didn’t, I’d wonder how long he’d be asleep and if he’d see the note I left on the jar of Marmite. Then I’d wonder if he’d smile. I hoped so.
An hour or so later, I boarded my flight, shuffling along with the herd of fellow travelers. I pulled my noise-canceling headphones out and shoved my carry-on into the overhead bin before claiming my window seat.
Just when I was beginning to think I’d lucked out and scored the row to myself, someone plonked into the seat next to me.Great. I secured my headphones, shifting to plug into the in-flight entertainment. My new neighbor draped his elbow over the console, making it impossible for me to see the outlet.Asshole.
And who did that anyway?
I furrowed my brow, cautioning myself to be nice to the guy I had to sit next to for ten hours as I tapped his shoulder.
“Excuse me. Would you—”
“Yes?”
I opened and closed my mouth twice. “What are you doing?”
Roman’s smile was slow-moving and boyishly crooked. “I’m taking a chance. A big fucking leap, actually. This might end up being a really long uncomfortable flight, but I couldn’t let you go without telling you…I want to make this work. I want to try. I want—I want you, Chance. I want us.”
“I want that too, but…how?”
“I don’t know,” he sighed, sounding slightly agitated. “All I know is you’ve made me smile since day one on that stupid app, and I can’t let that go. These past few weeks have been magic, Chance. I tried to tell myself that was good enough…maybe more than I deserved. And I’ve told myself this could never work, but there’s got to be a way. If you feel anything close to what I feel and if you’re willing to give this a shot, I—”
“Yes.” I blinked back tears. “Yes.”
“Good. Great. That’s…” Roman smiled, then blurted, “Fuck, I love you.”
“Wh—what?”
He licked his lips nervously and inclined his head. “I…I love you. Maybe it’s too soon, but I—“