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CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

I tossed and turned on the hard mattress, my body aching no matter how I lay. Even my flat pillow had lost its cool side. But it wasn’t the discomfort keeping me awake. It was Jiro. His words from earlier stuck in my mind like a pebble in my shoe. Impossible to ignore.

When we parted during our final year at university, Jiro didn’t take the breakup well. His ego was bruised by my repeated rejections of his attempts to get back together. After that, we became enemies, or at least it felt that way. Whenever I caught him glancing in my direction, his expression would sour.

Breaking up with your first love isn’t easy. It’s messy and leaves you limping through life for a while. I hadn’t realized how intertwined we were until I rearranged my entire schedule to avoid him—switching gym times, staying out of the library at night, even grocery shopping at dawn. Avoiding an ex is exhausting.

After I graduated, Jiro mostly faded from my life, but no matter how hard you try, you can’t erase your first love entirely. His resurfacing here, of all places, had brought a fresh ache. Breaking up with him, though, had been the right decision. We wanted different things. I craved stability; he chased adventure. We were never going to align.

So why did his words from earlier make me feel something? Did I still have feelings for him? No, no way. Not possible.

Sounds like someone has a crush.

Quiet. You don’t know anything.

Jiro and Akiko sitting in a tree…

Finish that song, and I swear I’ll ? —

What? Punch yourself in the face?

I groaned and sat up, running a hand through my tangled hair. “Get it together, Akiko,” I mumbled to myself as I stretched my arms high above my head. This wasn’t a summer camp romance or some twisted second-chance love story. This was a competition. A deadly one.

Soooo, flirting with Kenji is fine, but Jiro’s off limits?

It’s not the same thing.

Oh, really? Care to elaborate?

Grrrr.

It wasn’t just my feelings throwing me off. Jiro’s admission that I was the best chef had blindsided me. Why would he say that? How could he even know? No one had seen anyone else cook in a way that allowed for comparisons. And honestly, I was still convinced Jiro couldn’t cook. So what the hell was he doing here?

As I stretched, twisting my torso, the doorknob jiggled. The chair I’d wedged against the door held firm, as it did every night. This wasn’t new. Someone had been testing my doorknob nightly. But after today, I was done. No more freezing under the covers, waiting for them to leave. Tonight, I’d find out who it was.

I crept to the door, heart pounding in my chest. On the count of three, I yanked the chair away and pulled the door open.

Kenji stood there in the hallway.

“Good, you’re up,” he whispered, slipping into my room and shutting the door behind him.

“What are you doing?” I looked at him blankly.

“Shhh, keep your voice down.”

“Kenji, why are you trying to get into my room every night?”

“What? I’m not.”

“Someone’s been jiggling my doorknob every night, Kenji. Tonight, I finally opened it, and it’s you.”

“Yeah, tonight. But it wasn’t me the other nights.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

He hesitated, his gaze looking everywhere but at me. “I couldn’t sleep. I felt bad about our fight earlier.”

“Oh my God, Kenji.” I moaned. “That was hours ago. I’m over it.”

“Well, that’s good to hear, but I need to tell you something.”

“Kenji, can it wait until morning?” I stifled a yawn.

“It’ll only take a few moments. Please.”

I sighed. “Fine. What is it?”

“I love you, Akiko.”

“Yeah, I know. I love you too.”

“No.” He shook his head. “I mean, I’m in love with you. I can’t imagine my life without you as my girlfriend, maybe even my wife.”

My jaw dropped. Was Kenji really picking the middle of the night to confess his love?

“Kenji…” I started. My mind raced for the right words. “I don’t think you mean that.”

“I do! Don’t you feel the same?”

I took a step back, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Kenji, you’re sweet. And your friendship means the world to me.”

“But you only see me as a friend.”

“It’s not that.” I sighed. “We’re in survival mode here, okay? This, whatever this is…is what matters right now. Making it to the end. I can’t afford distractions, and neither can you.”

“I just don’t want to lose you again,” he said quietly.

“You won’t lose me,” I replied. “But we’re?—”

“Moving too fast?” he interrupted.

“Exactly. After this is over, there’ll be plenty of time to talk about us.”

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“Don’t be. You didn’t do anything wrong except try to sneak into my room in the middle of the night.” I gave him a pointed look. “Are you sure it wasn’t you those other nights?”

“I swear to God, Akiko. Tonight’s the first time.”

I studied him for a moment. “Fine. But you need to go.”

“Can I stay?” he blurted out. “I mean, just to sleep. I promise that’s it.”

I hesitated. “Just sleeping, right?”

“Just sleeping,” he said, raising his hands in surrender.

Against my better judgment, I let him stay. We climbed into the small, uncomfortable bed, and his arm draped over my waist as he pulled me close. His body was warm and comforting, and I found myself relaxing. Maybe I’d been too hard on him.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Sun Tzu’s words echoed in my head. I wasn’t sure if Kenji was a friend or a foe. But I needed to keep him close if I wanted to survive until the end.