Page 33 of The Little Cottage by the Cornish Sea

The next morning, Piers was up bright and early at the island preparing scrambled eggs on toast. It seemed to me that now that the cat had come out of the bag regarding his identity, he was more joyous, as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

He smiled more and spoke openly about the past, whereas before there was always a guarded silence.

Now that the floodgates had opened, it was lovely to get to know the real Piers and speak without fear of encroaching on any of his secrets.

It was as if Piers had lost at least ten years off his age, and possibly the saddest ones, because he was full of enthusiasm.

He suddenly wanted to go everywhere, see everyone and do everything.

‘Morning,’ he said with a sheepish grin.

‘Morning. Is that coffee I smell?’ I asked as I settled onto one of the stools at the island. I was allowed one or two cups a day.

He turned around to open a cupboard door and retrieved a huge, pale-blue mug into which he poured a copious amount of coffee. ‘Drink up. I need you to be as lucid as ever today.’

‘What’s up?’

He waited for me to take my first sip.

‘Mm, this is amazing.’

‘Thank you. It’s a special blend. Now try this.’

He turned off the gas hob and dished up some eggs onto a plate with a few slices of toast.

‘You know, I like chef Piers,’ I informed him as I began to eat.

‘There’s a lot more Pierses for you to meet,’ he said with a wink as he leaned in to kiss me.

‘Cheesy,’ I remarked as I kissed him back.

‘Don’t kid yourself, you love it,’ he murmured before he took my mouth again.

I could do this all day . I sighed in contentment for the first time in ages as he pulled back.

‘Listen, do you enjoy your job?’ he asked. ‘You’re not just here because of me?’

‘I do. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself otherwise. I do have a book in me somewhere, but I haven’t sorted it out in my mind yet.’

‘A book, huh? And you play the piano. Is there no end to your talents?’

I laughed. ‘Look who’s talking! Is there any instrument that you can’t play?’

He thought about it. ‘I’ve never played the Sousaphone before.’

‘I can’t even imagine what that is, but I’m going to have to look it up.’

‘Don’t bother. I just want you to know that I’m serious about us, Kate. And about your future.’

I hugged him and he held me tight. There would be time to iron out all the details later.

*

When I told the rest of the girls I knew who Piers really was, they hugged me.

‘We’re sorry we had to keep it from you. Even when you told us your real name, we just couldn’t tell you. But Piers is a good bloke. He’s not like they describe him. The press just likes to depict him that way. Don’t believe everything you read.’

‘Oh, I don’t, trust me. Now I understand everything. No wonder he was always so cloak and dagger.’

‘We all promised to protect his privacy. But with all the tourists coming down here lately, it’s getting more and more difficult. He even tried moving to the cottage opposite yours when people started getting curious about who lived in the huge manor behind the old stone walls.’

It made sense why he had been so rude to me from the start; he assumed I was just another tourist passing through. Like me, he had been suspicious of every new face. His serenity depended upon it.

*

About a week later, as I was finishing off a report, Piers knocked on my office door.

‘Kate, I’m going to need your help when you have a mo.’

‘Of course, come in,’ I said, saving my work on my laptop. ‘What’s up?’

‘I would like you to help me organise an auction and sell some of my band stuff for a few charities.’

‘Oh wow, that’s an excellent idea!’ He was finally opening up to the world again and he was all the happier for it. ‘Have you got a lot of stuff to sell?’

He grinned. ‘Come with me.’

So I followed him up the spiral staircase and down the back corridor to the secret rooms that were always kept locked.

He pulled a key out of his pocket, turned it three times and stepped back for me to go in.

On the threshold, I froze as my eyes swept across rows and rows of costumes and hats and accessories.

The long walls were lined with endless racks of everything he had ever worn on stage.

At the end of the long room were guitars, banjos, ukuleles, bass guitars, tambourines – any instrument you could think of.

I looked up at him. ‘This is unbelievable!’

‘There’s more in the adjoining rooms. I’ve lost count of how many concerts we’ve done. Well, at least some good can come of it now.’

‘So what are you saying? That you’re not even considering returning to your music? Not even on a solo basis?’

‘I can’t. There is no way I am ever going to perform again.’

‘Are you kidding me?’ I said. ‘You made millions of people happy with your music.’

He shook his head. ‘I thought my life was over when I lost Jenna. I didn’t even think I’d be able to come into this room again. But years later, here I am. Thanks to you, I feel happy again.’

I grinned. ‘So do I. And I think you should let your softer side come out again. Write all those ballads that are inside you. I know the real you, Piers, and I love what I see.’

He tilted his head, searching my face. ‘Yeah?’ he whispered.

‘Yeah,’ I whispered back, studying my shoes as my stomach did a somersault.

He gently took my hands and bent down for a soft kiss. ‘You’re amazing,’ he whispered.

‘Let’s go upstairs, shall we?’

I wanted to. God, I wanted to. Dr Chenoweth had told me it was safe. But did Piers really want to, with me looking like I looked?

‘Piers, are you sure? I’ve got stretchmarks and this huge bump…’

‘You are beautiful and nothing can change that, Kate’ he whispered. ‘You decide how far we go; how does that sound?’

It sounded like heaven. I had never had that before.

I smiled shyly as I pulled him close to kiss him and let him lead me to his master bedroom for the very first time.

He was tender, he was kind. But he was also passionate and gave me everything I wanted. Everything I had always wanted and never been able to ask for. It was official. I was in love. Real love this time.

Piers pressed a button next to his bed and called Mrs Watts for some food. Then he called Justin with another button and told him the office was closed for today and that everyone was off duty until tomorrow.

‘That was nice of you,’ I said, snuggling up to him.

‘Purely selfish gesture,’ he said, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me up against him. ‘I want you in this bed all day and I don’t want any interruptions.’

‘What will Justin and Mrs Watts think?’ I asked.

He snorted. ‘That it’s about bloody time. And that I couldn’t have chosen a sweeter girl.’

And so for the next few hours, we ate and talked and made love again until the sky turned black and it began to storm. Had I been in Tulip Cottage, the cracks of thunder would have sent Trixie and I diving under the bedcovers, but in the crook of Piers’s arm, I felt safe.

While we lay in bed, exhausted, he rolled over to turn on the light and whispered, ‘Kate. I need to say a few things to you.’

‘Oh?’

‘About the trial. You never asked me if I’m really guilty or not.’

I shook my head. ‘Well, I never thought you were.’ Which was true. The entire time the tragedy had been on the news, I never once thought he was to blame.

He ran a hand through his dark hair. ‘I don’t mean to be morose, but there are things you need to hear from me directly.’

I nodded. ‘Okay.’

‘It’s about Jenna’s death. You might know I found her in the pool in LA. She’d been shot. I called the police and before I knew it, drones were flying over my home.’

A huge boulder formed in my throat at the thought of the pain he must have gone through, finding her like that and not being able to grieve without cameras in his face. ‘Oh my God, I’m so sorry…’

He shrugged. ‘Over the years, Jenna and I had become completely different people. The fame had ruined our lives. Why the hell do people want to be famous anyway? Aren’t there enough cautionary tales out there?

’ He ran a hand through his hair again, his eyes remembering.

‘It’s not a life: sleeping in a different bed every night, missing your own home, your family and friends.

Not a moment to yourself, your mind always racing, never finding peace.

Who the hell would want to be that confused and miserable all the time?

’ He sat up as it all came out. ‘I just want to live in peace. Not be assailed every time I stick my nose out the door to get a pint of milk. I can’t leave Starry Cove, even if I wanted to.

I might be no one to these people, but they mean the world to me.

They are, in effect, the confines of my new world.

Because outside Starry Cove, I can’t exist. I don’t want to. ’

‘But are you not happy here?’ I asked. ‘With all your old friends?’

‘Absolutely I am. But back then, my band were my best friends. Brothers in arms and all that. But we were so different. Everybody else was happy with the way things were going. They were having the time of their life. Partying. Drinking, smoking, drugs, waking up in a stranger’s bed the next afternoon. I never did any of that.’

My eyes must have popped out of my head because he smiled, a hint of self-deprecation peeking through.

‘You see? The rockstar stereotype. I never was that person. I hate partying. Always have and always will; I’d much rather go to bed early with a cup of tea and a good book.

I mean, I just didn’t fit the mould, you know?

I was the boring one who worried more about sound checks and schedules and remembering the words.

I felt a responsibility toward the others who were bent on going crazy every night.

They wanted the rockstar life and I couldn’t keep up with them.

They were all enjoying it while I was suffering.

And so was Jenna, because she wanted me to live that rockstar life with her.

‘People couldn’t understand why I wasn’t happy.

In their eyes, I had everything you could want.

But they didn’t know that my parents died the day that I signed with my first label.

I’d called my mum to tell her, but a policeman answered her phone and gave me the news.

With her death in particular, I lost every last scrap of certainty.

Nothing else mattered. But I was under contract and forced to go on tour or pay back money I didn’t have.

So I went. And sang while I was dying inside.

There was nothing that could comfort me, or ease the pain in my chest. It wasn’t just sadness or a sense of loss.

I was physically ill with anxiety. I’d be gagging with panic attacks just as I was about to go onstage.

‘Once, I even threw up as I was climbing onto the stage and grabbed a nearby beer to rinse my mouth out. And of course the press latched on to that, painting me as an alcoholic who couldn’t even get on stage without a drink.

They made out that I was always stoned, or high, or whatever else, when really I was so sick with grief that I could barely stand.

It was so ironic. I had everything I thought I wanted and I didn’t give a damn. ’

‘Oh, Piers…!’ I whispered. Hearing him speak like this was breaking my heart. There was nothing I could say to soothe this deep sadness, so I settled to grabbing his hand and rubbing my thumb across the back of it.

He shook his head, obviously tormented by the memory.

‘I hadn’t expected fame so soon, and didn’t have any time adjust to it.

And then the depression kicked in. I remember shooting an ad for a famous Italian designer and not being able to stand straight because I was so exhausted.

It was my agent who managed to not get me fired. ’

‘I saw that ad,’ I said. ‘You were great. That song that you were singing, what was it?’

‘“Designer Love”,’ Piers said. ‘Originally, it was supposed to be “Designer Drugs” but I changed it. What’s stronger than love? I’m telling you this so you understand that I’m a basic guy, Kate, trying to live as normal a life as possible.’

‘Piers, I understand completely.’

‘So when I say I can’t go back to performing, this is what I mean.

It would only bring back feelings that I’ve been trying to heal for years.

’ I nodded. ‘I chose to isolate myself in this castle because I needed the protection and the privacy it afforded me. And now you need it too. But as soon as everything is sorted, I want to move to a nice, normal home. Would that interest you? A normal life?’

A normal life? ‘I can’t think of anything I want more,’ I confessed.

‘We’ll get there, Kate. We’ll get Will out of the picture once we’ve proven that he stole the files.’

‘I hope so, Piers. For my baby’s sake.’

‘For your baby’s sake, and ours. We’ll be okay. I promise you that.’