Page 31

CHAPTER 31

F our and a half weeks later

Kara

“You were a hit, kiddo.”

I glanced at Jacob, nodding in appreciation. The last few weeks had been exhausting. Between flights to California to talk with the executives from Netflix, and immediately taking the redeye back to New York, I’d barely seen a decent night’s sleep since returning from Greece.

“I think I held my own.” I leaned my elbow on the edge of his car window, staring out the windshield, but not seeing anything. My eyes burned from the late nights. At least I’d stopped feeling sorry for myself, spending a portion of the night in tears.

I’d wanted to contact Havros, but I still had no idea what I’d tell him. The project would soon consume even more of my time.

“You more than held your own. They were impressed with your ideas for the production. Are you still glad you went with HBO?”

“I am.” Part of that reason was because I didn’t need to leave New York every week. The other was all about money and creative control. Havros had spent time with me, providing ideas of what I could expect, including their attempts at shorting me what I was worth. I’d used his words to my benefit, the six-figure deal well worth my time and effort.

“Are you alright?” he asked as he weaved his way through traffic. At least he was driving. I wasn’t certain I could concentrate enough to get us back to the city safely.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re still thinking about him. Aren’t you?”

Him. Since my return, Jacob had been unable to say his name other than once. And that had been done out of anger when he’d realized we’d been intimate. He was now acting more like a father than ever before. At least he was watching out for me. “Not as much as before.”

“You need to think about yourself for a change. This is your ticket. If the project does even remotely well, there will be others. I can bet on that.”

“Yeah, I know.” Why wasn’t my heart into it?

We drove in silence for a few minutes.

“I spoke to your dad last night,” he said quietly.

I slowly turned my head. His face was pensive. “You did?”

“I did. He called me out of the blue. You never told him what you were doing, investigating mafia organizations. Did you?”

“I didn’t want to worry him.”

“You should know he found out. I don’t know how because he didn’t tell me, but he’s understandably worried about you. You need to call him. He gave me an earful about why you doing so was such a bad idea. I guess the US Marshals are having trouble with a group. I was half listening, but you can learn the details from your father. When you call him.”

“Yes, Dad number two.”

Jacob snorted. “I’m serious. I know I’ve been hard on him for a while, but he’s still your dad and cares about you.”

“I know he does and I care about him. I just don’t want to get into an argument with him.”

“I get it. I really do, but he left you two messages and you didn’t call him back.”

A moment of guilt settled in. “I didn’t know what to say. I haven’t been talking to anyone.”

“Including Havros?”

“I just couldn’t. What can I say?”

“I’m glad you’re away from that place. I really am. Everything you need is right here in New York.”

“Not everything.”

Jacob grumbled as he pulled up along the curve. “It might take time, but you’ll see that you did the right thing. Now, call your father before he has a heart attack.”

“I will.” I opened the door, the humid air hitting me.

“Don’t forget the day after tomorrow is the first production meeting.”

“I won’t forget.” I might still be heartsick, but I hadn’t lost my mind. I stood right where I was, both admiring and hating the sounds of the city. While I didn’t live anywhere close to Manhattan, my street quieter than most, I could still hear horns and tires screeching, people yelling and dogs barking. I’d heard none of that in Greece.

I’d felt so bad for over a week, worried my anxiety was the reason. With my head pounding and no aspirin or Tylenol in my apartment, I headed down the sidewalk to the drug store on the corner. Having one so close had been a godsend.

The little bell over the door rang as soon as I walked inside, the clerk looking up to see who’d walked in. I waved as I headed for the aisle, finding a huge bottle of pain reliever easily enough. As I reached for my wallet while heading to the counter, I passed a row that caught my eye. Stopping short, I studied the four shelves full of boxes, taking a deep breath the entire time. On a whim, I yanked one into my hand, taking both items up front.

The girl said nothing, merely eyeing me cautiously as she waited for me to scan the credit card. I was certain I looked haggard at this point. Tonight I wouldn’t allow anything or anyone to bother me.

As soon as I left, a crash occurred on the other side of the street and I jumped. What the fuck? On top of everything, I was a nervous wreck. I even dropped the bag of purchases. At least a laugh bubbled to the surface. I bent over and the earth around me suddenly shifted. Oh, shit. I felt faint.

After taking another deep breath, I rose to a standing position more slowly than I’d gone down. A man standing on the other side of the street caught my eye. Was he staring at me? Hell, yes, he was.

Inching closer to the edge of the sidewalk, I dragged hair behind my ears and shielded my eyes from the late afternoon sun. A bus rolled by, doing its best to avoid the collision.

When the huge vehicle passed two seconds later, I blinked several times.

The man wasn’t there. After searching both sides of the street, I had to face the fact I needed a long night of sleep. I was jumpy for no reason.

Laughing at myself, I hurried into the brownstone, deciding to take the stairs.

Big mistake.

By the time I made it to my floor, my nervousness from before got the better of me. The small lunch I’d dared myself to consume came roaring into my throat. I barely had time to unlock and throw open the door, racing into the bathroom and dropping onto the floor with a hard thud before I lost every bite I’d eaten.

Maybe this would be the final release of fear and apprehension.

After flushing the toilet, I remained crowded against the wall, slowly finding the energy to reach for my purse. I hated what I was doing to myself, the doubts that I’d never had before. But they weren’t about my work. With the first article ready to be printed, I was more confident than ever at my accomplishments.

Even if I’d had to forgo the truth.

Over four weeks later and I’d yet to hear anything from the Cosa Nostra Don. I pulled out my phone and leaned my head against the wall as I thought about calling my dad. I loved him and missed him, but we weren’t on the same page any longer.

He had left two voicemails. Had I subconsciously ignored them? I wasn’t certain. I had my finger on the redial button, but shifted to my photographs, easily finding the one I’d snapped quickly under the Eiffel Tower.

The photograph was almost goofy, enough so that looking at it all over again made me laugh. Havros couldn’t take a bad picture. I traced his face and brought the phone against my heart. I missed hearing his voice almost as much as being in his company.

I noticed the bag I’d flung onto the floor and snagged it before trying to stand. Just looking at myself in the mirror was painful. I had dark circles under both eyes, my hair no longer shiny. Maybe I needed vitamins.

Maybe I needed a CAT scan. I pulled out the two items, hesitating when I held the long box. I don’t know what pushed me into buying the kit. Maybe nerves. Maybe guilt. I almost tossed it under the counter when the little voice inside my head told me to take it. Just do it , the inner voice kept whispering in my ear.

Why not. It was quite possible it would alleviate some of the worry.

Or not.

I did my business, placing my purchases on the counter and washing my hands. After grabbing my phone, I headed for the kitchen, almost bumping into the wall from paying attention to the blank screen instead of where I was walking.

After grabbing the open bottle of wine and a glass, I took everything to my tiny living room. A glass in hand, I debated calling my father for a few seconds, but I knew he’d keep calling until I answered. He deserved to know his daughter was going to be successful.

I took a sip of the cabernet before dialing. He answered on the third ring. “Hi, Dad.”

“I was worried about you.”

“I’m fine. I’m doing very well. I have news.”

“I heard all about the movie you’re making,” he said gruffly.

“It’s not a movie. It’s a biopic where the people involved are on the screen. They talk about their lives and there’s a narrator and some photographs. You know. That kind of thing.”

“But mafia? You know how I feel about the subject. What possessed you to put yourself in so much danger?”

“You know why, Dad. Because no one ever solved my mother’s murder. That’s why.”

“What did you hope to gain in doing this? You could have gotten yourself killed.”

Huffing, I took another gulp to keep my mouth busy and not spouting off what I wanted to say to the man. “I was careful, but it was something I needed to do.”

His sigh was heavy just like my heart felt. “I wish you’d mentioned the subject matter to me first.”

“You would have just tried to talk me out of doing the project.”

“There are several ongoing investigations regarding the New York and Chicago mafias. DEA. ATF. CIA. You name it.”

And he was likely behind pushing the investigations into fruition.

“I know that, Dad. I did my research. You know how thorough I am.”

“I know you are, Kara, but that doesn’t mean I won’t worry.”

“Well, I’m home in New York now working with HBO. I’ll be busy pretty much every day with no time for travel or any other investigations at this point. So stop worrying.”

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “I know you miss your mother. I do too. I long to find out exactly what happened, but that’s not in the cards. Not after all this time. She’d be alive if I hadn’t interfered in something I had no right to do. I don’t want that for you.”

His guilt would be the death of him. “What happened wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything.”

“But I did. Don’t be like me, Kara. Live your life. Find a man who will treat you as you deserve to be treated. Have a family. I’m not suggesting you eliminate a career, but do something that doesn’t put you in harm’s way.”

I almost blurted out I’d found someone I cared about, but what was the point? “Maybe in the future, Dad. Why don’t you consider coming to New York for a visit.”

The answer was always the same. “I’ll do that.”

Which meant I’d ask him again in a year. “I love you, Dad, and stop worrying. Okay?”

“I’ll try. Just remember what I said. Life is too short to miss out on the things that make you the happiest.”

I opened my mouth to retort, insisting my work made me the happiest. But I wasn’t in the mood to tell a lie. “Okay, Daddy. Talk soon.”

With the call ended, I tossed my phone on the coffee table, immediately bringing the wine to my lips. In my near meltdown by the toilet, I’d forgotten to take any Tylenol. Maybe the wine would help.

I closed my eyes briefly, controlling my breathing. My father was hardheaded, which was where I’d learned it.

A few seconds later, the inner voice prompted me I had something cooking. Groaning, I eased off the couch, grabbing another sip of wine before placing just so on the table for my return. I’d accidentally left the bathroom light on so when I walked closer, I didn’t need to bend down to have my answer. But as soon as I did, I picked it up, bringing the stick closer to my face.

No. There was no way. No godforsaken way on this earth.

How was this even possible? A horrible sounding laugh bubbled to the surface. I knew how, but I couldn’t believe my luck was this bad. A moment of utter panic set in. I had no idea what to think, but at this point it didn’t matter for shit.

What in God’s name was I supposed to do now?