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Joanna was clearly upset about something. She’d been behavingstrangely earlier, and now here she was, waiting for me to get home. I moved toward her, eager to take her into my arms and comfort her, but she held up her hands as if to ward me off.

“Don’t,” she snapped. “Stay right there.”

My heart almost stopped. “What? Why?”

Why wouldn’t she let me touch her? I couldn’t just stand over here and let her hurt without doing anything about it.

“Just don’t.” Her shoulders hunched inward, but then she released a shuddering breath and forced them back.

I frowned. What the hell had happened?

I knew she had a new case today. Perhaps it was a particularly gruesome one, or something about it had struck too close to home.

“Talk to me, Joanna,” I urged. “Tell me what’s going on.”

She crossed her legs and raised her chin. “I want to know something.”

“What? I’ll tell you anything.” At least, anything I could.

“Is our marriage exclusive? ”

My jaw dropped. “Excuse me?”

She stood, holding herself rigidly. “You heard me.”

Yeah, but I didn’t understand the question.

“If you’re asking me whether I think it’s acceptable to see other people while married to each other, then the answer is no.” I had no idea why she’d even ask that. I adored her, and as far as I was aware, the feeling was mutual.

Even if I was still just keeping up a ruse and didn’t love her, I wouldn’t disrespect her by being with another woman, and I hated the very idea that she might want to touch another man.

She was mine.

Her chin jutted out. “I saw you with a blond woman today. Holding hands.” She gritted the words through clenched teeth. “You looked… cozy.”

Oh, no. Fuck. I was in trouble.

“You didn’t mention it earlier, when I asked about your day,” she continued. “Why not?”

She prowled toward me, and my eyes wandered to her hip. Thankfully, I couldn’t see the outline of her service weapon there. At least she was giving me a chance to come up with a valid explanation rather than shooting first and asking questions later.Considering how fiery she could be, I had to give her credit for that.

“It wasn’t what it looked like.” I thought quickly. I couldn’t tell her the truth. That wasn’t an option. But I didn’t want her to believe I’d been unfaithful either. That would kill her—and me. Especially when she’d been strong enough to come straight out and ask me for the truth.

She was an incredible woman, and I was a lying sack of shit.

Joanna propped one of her hands on her hip. “What was it, then? Was she an old friend? If so, I’d love to meet her. I’ve met so few of your friends. ”

Because the only friends I could introduce her to were part of my cover. Everything about my life was a lie, except for the way I felt about my wife.

“There’s no reason for you to meet her,” I said firmly. “There’s nothing between us. She’s someone I used to work with, and she was having a bad day, so I was trying to comfort her.”

That wasn’t a complete lie. It was about as truthful as I could be.

Unfortunately, Joanna’s expression said she didn’t believe me.

“She worked in the bar you were at before you started at Henry’s?” she asked.

“Yeah.” I cupped her face, gazing into her dark eyes, my gut tightening at the fear and hurt shining in them. “I love you, Jo. You’re the only woman for me. I would never do anything to betray your trust.”

The words tasted like sawdust. I wished they were true, but one day, she’d learn who I really was, and then she’d discover the many ways in which I’d let her down. But none of them were like this. I’d never betray her with another woman.

It did the trick though. Her gaze softened and she turned her face into my palm, brushing a kiss over the sensitive skin.

“I’m sorry for doubting you,” she whispered, the last of her suspicions fading away. “I was scared, and I didn’t want to get hurt or be made a fool of. My parents and friends have already asked why we got married so quickly. I don’t want to prove them right in thinking I’m a naive romantic.”

Guilt thickened my tongue, making it impossible to speak. The fact is, I had taken advantage of her romantic nature. I needed access to her colleagues and romancing her was the easiest way to get it. When she realized that, she’d feel like a fool. But there was nothing wrong with her. I was the asshole.

“I love you,” I told her again, because that, at least, was true. “You’re entitled to feel anything you want, but believe me when I say that you don’t have to worry about me cheating on you. I want you and only you.”

Whether she’d still want me a few months from now remained to be seen.

I couldn’t think of anything else I could say that wouldn’t either reveal too much or be a lie, so I stepped closer, trying to bring her into the shelter of my arms, so I could comfort her the only way I knew how: by worshiping her body.

She relaxed into my embrace and rested her head on my shoulder. I was tall, but so was she. For a woman, at least. Tall and lean, with an athletic figure and compact curves. A core of steel with a hint of softness overlaying it.

Absolute perfection.

I lowered my lips to hers, but after the first brush, she buried her face against the side of my neck. I frowned. It was almost as though she didn’t want to kiss me.

My chest constricted. Did she still not trust me? Had my reassurances not been enough?

I couldn’t lose her. Not just because of my job but because she meant more to me than any woman ever had.

“Jo?” I murmured against her hair.

She released a shuddering breath. “Just… not tonight.”

Nausea churned in my gut. The implication was clear. She was holding onto a thread of doubt. Part of her believed I might have been with someone else. A large enough part of her to stop her from making herself vulnerable with me.

My breath caught. I wanted to scream at the unfairness of it. Of all the things she could have accused me of, infidelity was the only sin I hadn’t committed. I belonged to Joanna, heart and soul. Perhaps I couldn’t explain away what she’d seen as well as I’d have liked to, but it hurt to know she thought me capable of such a betrayal.

“Can I hold you?” I asked quietly.

She nodded.

I took her hand, relieved when she let me clasp it without protest, and led her to the bedroom. With gentle touches and careful movements, I removed her clothes one item at a time. My spirit reveled in every section of skin that appeared, because even if she didn’t want to make love, she at least trusted me enough to be naked with me.

Once she stood before me, her arms wrapped around her waist, her dusky nipples peaked from the cool air, I got to work on my own clothes. First, the T-shirt came off, then I unzipped my jeans with clumsy fingers. I pushed them down, stepped out of them, tossed the shirt in the hamper and bent to fold my jeans. They went on top of the dresser.

I kept my underwear on, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. I took off my socks and tossed them in the laundry hamper, then went to my nightstand to switch on the lamp. The top drawer wasn’t quite closed all the way. I didn’t mention it, but I was almost certain she’d rifled through it when I wasn’t home.

Fair enough.

I didn’t like it, but if I’d seen her holding hands with another man, I’d have been a whole lot less calm about it than she was. I’d have marched straight in there and demanded to know why the hell he thought he could lay his hands on my wife.

All things considered, she was being quite reasonable. I was grateful for that and hated it at the same time. Grateful, because selfishly I didn’t want to lose her. But I hated it because she deserved better. She should rant and shout at me and demand to know the truth .

Once again, she was showing all the ways in which she was too good for me.

“I’ll be back in a moment,” I said, debating whether I really needed to shower. But at least one patron had spilled some of their drink on me, and I didn’t want to join her in bed while sticky and smelling of booze.

“Okay.” She didn’t tell me not to take too long or to come back to her soon, as she usually would. Nor did she offer to join me. She barely even acknowledged me.

I hurried through the fastest shower of my life, my heart racing. I strained my ears to hear any movement from the bedroom above the rush of the water, half-afraid I’d return to an empty bedroom.

As soon as the soap had been rinsed from my body, I shut off the water and toweled dry. I gave my teeth a cursory brush and opened the door to the bedroom. My shoulders relaxed. Even in the dim light, the lump beneath the blankets was obvious. She was still here.

I switched off the light and made my way carefully across the dark room. I eased under the covers and drew Joanna into my arms.

“I love you.” I nuzzled into her hair. “You’re the best part of my life.”

Her sleepy murmur went straight to my heart. I ran my hand down her side, and she allowed me to snuggle her. I listened as her breathing gradually deepened, until I was almost certain she was asleep.

It would be a long time until I calmed down enough to sleep too. I clutched her more tightly, fear clawing at me, as if I subconsciously believed she would disappear the instant I stopped touching her.

My phone buzzed. Not my day-to-day phone, but the other one.

I gritted my teeth. I didn’t want to release her for even a second, but the message could be urgent. Gently, I disengaged myself from Joanna and reached for it. The display’s brightness was turned all the way down, so the light shouldn’t disturb her.

A: How did the meeting with Portia go?