Page 17

James leaned forward across the bed with a soft murmur of sympathy. His eyes were serious, conveying sympathy without pity and loosening the last of the tight hold she kept on her memories.

“I tried to save him, but I didn’t know then what I know now. I’d never nursed anyone before. I couldn’t get him to drink. I couldn’t help him.” Emotion crept into her voice, the terror and loneliness of those last days when she’d been unable to save Colin.

James stared at her. “But surely you weren’t alone. What about your family?”

Family. The word still sent a pang through her. “No. No one could come near the sickroom, not even Granny.”

“You didn’t catch it?”

Sara shook her head. “Winters he worked at a lumber camp, trying to save up enough to set up his trade. He wanted to be a smithy.” She could still see Colin when he’d returned from camp.

He’d lifted her up and swung her in a circle and promised they’d never be parted again.

“The work was hard on him. When cholera came through that summer, he just...”

James’s eyes filled with compassion. “I’m so sorry. That must have been horrible.”

Scenes flashed through Sara’s mind. The long night spent washing and dressing his lifeless body.

The cart that came to fetch the dead. Three days alone in their room, staring out the window and wondering why she couldn’t seem to die as well.

She would have, if Granny hadn’t come and pulled her back into life.

“It was...” She swallowed, uncertain how to put the tumble of grief and loss into words. “It was hard.”

A widow. That was pain he knew something about. He looked at Sara, wondering if she’d say more, but she kept her eyes trained on Evie’s still form on the bed.

Throughout the night they battled the fever, bathing her with cool water and coaxing her to swallow sips of tea. Her temperature rose again, and she grew more restless, each hoarse cry hitting him like a physical blow. Don’t take her, too. I can’t bear it. Please. He rose and paced to the window.

The first hints of dawn lightened the horizon with streaks of violet and crimson. How could a day promise to be so beautiful when his daughter suffered? It was preposterous that the city continued its regular rhythm when Evie’s life hung in the balance.

Sara didn’t leave Evie’s side. As before, her voice seemed to pierce the delirium and bring Evie some level of peace.

She never hurried her words, nor did a trace of worry or fear enter her voice.

He could bask in that tone all night, for it soothed him as much as it did Evie.

As soon as Sara had taken charge of the sickroom, a load lifted.

“Thank you for coming,” he said, suddenly needing her to know what her presence meant to him. “It’s a blessing to have someone with experience. I... I never seem to know what to do.”

She turned her eyes to him, her expression conveying so much kindness that his chest constricted. “It can’t be easy,” she murmured. “Raising a little girl on your own.”

“Sometimes I wonder if her mother would’ve done things differently. Maybe she would have caught the signs earlier, never let her get this sick.” He broke off. What was happening to him? He never talked about Amelia.

“Evie told me she doesn’t remember her mother,” Sara said. There was a question in her words, as though she expected an answer.

He almost didn’t give her one. He’d never told anyone of those dark days after Evie’s birth. Yet tonight, with Sara in the circle of candlelight, he finally found the words.

“She had a hard time with Evie’s delivery.

I was worried, but the doctor assured me it was normal.

” He broke off. “The birth was horrible, but the fever after was even worse. She grew weaker by the day. A week later, she was gone.” He clasped one of Evie’s restless hands against the bed covers.

“It’s been just the two of us ever since. ”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. After a moment, she cleared her throat. “For what it’s worth, I think you’ve done a wonderful job raising Evie.”

Her words warmed him. It was the first time anyone had said he’d done something right as a father.

He gave a rueful smile, thinking of Ballantine’s advice.

“Universal opinion seems to be that I should marry again. But I—I can’t.

” There he was, spilling his heart again.

What was it about this woman that loosened his tongue?

“I understand.” His shoulders relaxed at her quiet words, spoken so softly he almost missed them. He looked up to find her watching him with compassion. “Sometimes it’s just not worth the risk.”

Evie moaned and Sara rose and picked up the cup on the side table. “One more sip, my love,” she murmured. Evie screwed her lips shut and turned her head to the side.

“Here, let me help.” James stood, lifting Evie higher so the liquid didn’t run out of her mouth.

Sara leaned closer and her hair brushed his chin. She’d long ago abandoned her cap and the soft strands glinted with gold and honey in the lamp’s glow. He caught a whiff of her scent. Warm and sweet with a hint of roses.

Sara’s head shot up, jolting him out of his thoughts. “Mr. Kinney?”

He realized he’d lowered Evie’s head, making it difficult for Sara to reach her mouth. He straightened, hoping the dim light would mask the faint warmth in his cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out.

“Pardon me?” Sara stared at him, her eyebrows raised.

“About what I said. That day with Granny. I didn’t realize—” James paused.

He hadn’t planned to apologize, not yet at least, and his exhausted brain couldn’t seem to form the words he needed.

“I didn’t know how close you were. What you meant to her.

” He risked a glance at her face and found her staring at him, her eyes wide in surprise.

“The things I said to you—Well, I was wrong, and I’m sorry.

Evie clearly needs you.” And I do, too. Where had that ridiculous thought come from?

“You were right,” Sara replied. “There was no point in prolonging our friendship.” She set the cup down and set about straightening the bedclothes. “But I’m glad you asked me to come.”

“So am I.”

At his words, her hands stilled on the bedclothes and her eyes locked with his. She was the first to break their gaze, her eyes darting to the rocking chair in the corner. “She’s quieter now. Why don’t you rest for a few minutes?”

He felt his daughter’s forehead, searching for any sign she was better. She did seem to rest easier. On impulse, he reached across the bed and took Sara’s hand in his. It was rough, the nails short and the skin cracked. “Do you really think she’s better?”

“I think so. I promise I’ll wake you if there’s any change.” She returned the pressure of his hand, and he felt the strength in her, the competence. Felt a shot of awareness flow up his arm, too, that set his heart pounding. He dropped her hand.

He settled back in the chair, pushing aside his confusing reaction to Sara O’Connor. Instead, he focused on Evie, comforted by the sight of her chest moving up and down in a regular rhythm. His eyes grew heavy in the dark room, and he allowed the exhaustion of the past days to overwhelm him.

A hand on his shoulder shook him awake. He opened his eyes, squinting at the bright sun that flooded the room.

“There’s a change,” came Sara’s excited voice beside him. He jumped to his feet, almost knocking her sideways. He reached out to steady her, looking deep into her eyes.

“What kind of change?” His voice was hoarse.

She smiled. “Look for yourself.”

He crowded next to Sara at the bedside. Evie was still, her breathing deep and even. He touched her forehead. Cool. Her face was no longer flushed an unnatural red. “She’s better?”

“The fever’s broken.”

He glanced at Sara’s smile and felt a rush of relief so deep, his knees weakened. He bowed his head. Thank you for sparing my girl. For bringing me through this time of trial. For bringing Sara into our lives.

When he opened his eyes, she was staring at him. “God answered your prayers.” There was a hint of accusation in her voice that he understood.

“This time.” James held her gaze. “Prayer isn’t magic or wish fulfillment, I’ve learned that the hard way. Evie is better and I’m grateful. I felt a presence with me through it all.” James shrugged. “More than that I can’t explain.”

She shifted beside him, and their arms brushed.

A tingling awareness sizzled up his side.

His fingers reached for hers without conscious thought.

She smiled up at him, her fingers tightening around his.

There were dark circles under her eyes, and wild curls escaping the knot of hair at the base of her neck.

Yet at that moment, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.