Page 51 of The Laws of Nature (Heirs of the Empire #3)

Tobi takes a breath. He sees no reason not to tell Harok his truth.

He has already told him his darkest shame.

That he stopped visiting his mother. That he left her to her madness.

“When you first took me I was certain my father would send the Azurian army to rescue me. I thought I would go back to Attar, a great hero after being snatched by a forest king.” He almost wants to laugh.

It sounds so foolish. “But now I understand, my father cares nothing for me. The empire cares nothing for me. They will send no one for me. Lymok told me he had contact with Azuria and that they charged him to make sure I never left the forest alive.”

“And you are sad?” Harok says. “That Azuria did not rescue you?”

Tobi shakes his head. “I realised something else, after what Lymok said. Whether he told me the truth or not, being here. Seeing the Ambolk ways. It is different. For a man like me.” He takes a breath. “A year ago,” Tobi says, “The Azurian Empire killed my brother.”

Harok’s eyes are soft. “Your brother?”

“I did not know him,” Tobi says. “I had not seen him since I was seven summers. But the story is well known. They say he fell in love with a male slave and he was exiled into death for it.”

“For love?” says Harok, frowning. “Is it wrong to love a slave in Azuria?”

Tobi shakes his head. “A male slave, for a man. Sins of the body are a crime in Azuria.”

“Pleasures of the deep earth are a crime,” says Harok. Not a question. More like something he distantly remembers.

Tobi frowns. “Lymok calls it that. Pleasure of the deep earth. Why is it called that in Ambolk? There is a sidu in the Artemian faith, Surrus, who is connected to the deep earth. But she represents the harvest and fertility. In Azuria, the deep earth means the richest soil. Where all food and life come from. Why do you call luxoli pleasure of the deep earth?”

Harok says, “I do not know why, Suskara. It has always been called so. I always thought it was because…,” Harok stops, he looks strange.

His face has an expression Tobi has never seen before.

He sounds amused and almost bashful when he says, “I always thought it was because the man’s kush is also for shit.

” His voice cracks. And he laughs. A great boom of a laugh.

A sound Tobi has never heard from him before.

“I was a boy,” he says, after a moment of laughing, breathless.

“I knew what my pleasure was and I knew it was called so. That was what I thought, what I always thought. And I wanted that. To bury my cock in a man’s ku sh.

So I thought that was why what I desired was called so. ”

This makes Tobi laugh too, “There is more to luxoli than kush fucking,” he says, slapping a hand playfully to Harok’s face.

Harok draws him into a tight embrace. Tobi’s face is pressed close to Harok’s chest. He looks up at Harok.

Harok’s eyes are crinkled, creasing the lines of black paint below them.

And Tobi thinks he can see that boy. Who desired men, but freely, simply and could enjoy the thought that he would one day take a man to his bed, have a male lover, a male kushir. None of that a crime.

That boy, the boy Harok was before his father died.

I love you, Tobi thinks. But he does not say it. He cannot.

Harok nods solemnly. “But I will have Solwen visit this place when traders next go to Attar. They will bring you a report on your mother.”

“Thank you,” says Tobi. “I would like that. And then perhaps I can visit her with you.”

Harok looks at Tobi. His expression is strange.

“We will see, Suskara. There is still much danger in the forest. The Exceli have been growing very strong with their Azurian steel. We believe the empire is also giving them coin and food. They wish to help them take Urynwud. And you would be a great prize to the Exceli. Not only because the empire wish the Exceli to ensure you die in this forest, to take my kushir would be a signal that I am no strong Irgo.”

Tobi nods. “Do you think the Exceli will be able to take Urynwud from you? If they have Azurian support.”

“No. I am Unkillable Irgo, Demon Slayer,” Harok says bluntly.

Unkillable, Tobi thinks. “Are you truly unkillable? You will never die.” He touches the sigil on Harok’s chest. “Because of this? ”

Harok nods. “It has great power.”

“Did it hurt, when your mother cut that into you? Was it to protect you from Vahul killing you?”

Harok shakes his head. “No. She did it later. After I killed Vahul. But I am strong Irgo. Always strong Irgo.”

Tobi tips his head to one side and looks at Harok. He is strong. Tobi knows it. Tobi delights in that strength. But there is more to Harok than his strength. ”You don’t always have to be the strong Irgo,” he says, reaching up and trailing a finger down Harok’s cheek. “No one is always strong.”

“What Suskara mean?” Harok says.

“Strong people can still make mistakes. You can be strong but you do not have to be cruel. Lymok told me he left and joined the Exceli because you refused to make a pact with them. Perhaps there is still a way to bring peace without fighting. Perhaps you could let them worship Diazuul again and make peace.”

“And let them make sacrifices into pit?”

Tobi shakes his head. “No. But maybe they could leave offerings under Susal-ur-Bellan. The anks.”

Harok shakes his head. “No, Suskara. This is not for a kushir. You want me to forgive Exceli?”

“I forgave you.”

“The Exceli are different. I cannot make peace with them”