Page 67 of The Last Letter of Rachel Ellsworth

The Last Letter

Dear Jill,

I’ve been crying so hard I can barely see. This has been the worst day of my life. Darshan, my friend here, hung himself in his family’s restaurant today, the café I’ve been telling you about. And it’s all my fault.

Oh my God, I can’t believe this. I can’t believe I was so stupid, that I didn’t understand.

We went to Delhi together. It was so romantic, at least I thought it was, and we made love at last, and had the most beautiful two days ever.

So in love! On the way back to Bombay, he asked if he needed to talk to my parents, and said his parents would be angry, but he thought he could bring them around, and it turned out he wanted to get married. Married!

I thought he was kidding at first, but he was very upset when I said no, that I would be going back to the US in a few weeks, and we could write letters.

He begged me, made his case, and almost convinced me, but Jill, I can’t live here, and I’m too young to get married.

How would I completely change who I am to live here as his wife?

He kept trying, but I got upset and said he had to stop talking about it, and he did, but then when we got back, he made this big plan, and I just said he had to stop calling me, that I wouldn’t marry him.

And Jill, oh my God, I can’t even see, he killed himself. Why would he do that? And how can he do that? I am the worst person in the world. I don’t know what to do. How will I live with this for the rest of my life?

I don’t even know if you’ll get this before I get home, but I wanted you to know.

Rachel