Page 32 of The Last De Loughrey Dynasty (The Legacy of Aquila Hall #1)

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

ARCHER

I stared at the blackboard we had hung up at the hideaway to write down every important piece of information we could find on anything that might be connected to answers, or what had happened to James and Dottie.

Hecate, the goddess of magic, crossroads, witchcraft, sorcery, ghosts, and necromancy. (Maiden, Mother, Crone)

Beneath the firm description of the goddess who was apparently responsible for where our abilities came from, stood several legends Maisie and Jesse had written down.

Hecate could bestow wealth and blessings on her worshippers, yet she could also withhold these gifts if she were not adequately worshipped.

That was a point that might be important to us, since our ancestors used to be part of those worshippers, receiving blessings and then the curse.

A goddess who can cross from the underworld (possibly known to us as: the veil to the dead) to the realm of the living with ease.

They also noted that people say that Hecate meets the lost souls at the crossroads to take them on their last and safe journey to the underworld. Stories existed about her evil spirit poisoning women’s minds, luring them into the devil’s trap of witchcraft. Self-explanatory, these stories were told back in the days of the witch trials.

Mai swore that the goddess had shown herself in more than one way throughout her life. And now, through research, the signs seemed even clearer. I trusted her and didn’t say anything when she built an altar on one of the smaller bookshelves down here to represent our full love and respect towards the goddess. She thinks it might bring her to listen to her prayers and spare us from all the pain that’ll happen because our ancestors angered her once.

I doubted the whole story was even true. A goddess being involved in this sounded like a bit too much, but I wouldn’t tell her that. If she believed in her, then so be it. I knew she’d try everything if there was a spark of hope to change the things that haunted her dreams.

My gaze drew to a picture of Professor Kane with very few notes connected to it. He was the same arsehole teacher as usual, and if he knew anything about the veil and spirits, he made sure no one could sense it.

“The first parents have arrived.”

I turned around at the sound of her voice, being met with cold eyes that warmed when mine melted with hers. Something I had noticed the past weeks, and I liked it. I felt something magnificent when I saw the warmth of those blue eyes.

Dorothee wore a pair of light bell-bottoms and a red jumper with some gold jewels as a finishing touch. She also still wore the necklace James had given Dottie fifty years ago, together with the stone I had gifted her. Her hair wasn’t styled or pulled back by a hairband like she usually did for class. The red strands were falling wildly around her face, and I had to admit that I liked her hair like that. It suited her.

“Have yours arrived?” I asked, moving a step closer. The idea of leaving Aquila Hall for two whole weeks was sorrowful. But the knowledge of leaving her for the same amount of time was devastating.

Even when I couldn’t have her, I cherished her presence and bathed in the beam of her laugh rather than the sun.

“They’ll be here any minute. My mother called as soon as their plane landed. She has spent the past week with my father in the United States for business.”

“You don’t sound happy about that.”

“It might sound odd, but in a way, I found a home here at Aquila Hall. Never have I felt like I belonged somewhere until I stepped foot into this place and met you. You and the others are the first people I can call my friends, knowing that your actions towards me aren’t built on pity. And–why are you looking at me like that?”

“You referred to me as your friend,” I answered. “Am I your friend, Dorothee De Loughrey?”

“Yes, Archer Kingstone, if you like it or not, you are my friend,” Doe said, her expression lightening up. “I thought about this for quite a while, actually. Because heaven knows I tried to dislike you, perhaps even loathed you because you were such an arrogant arsehole. But there is seriously nothing to hate about you, except the fact that you’re your own happiness saboteur. For example, you were happy on the day you taught me how to see the veil, truly happiness beamed from you, but then you put on that mask of yours again and tried to push me away by hurting me. The thing is, I won’t allow that. If there is one thing I’ve learned so far during my time here, it’s that time is relevant. Maybe we’ll die young, perhaps we have our whole lives ahead of us. So, if I for some strange unknown reason, enjoy your presence in this timeline, then so be it. I’m not some coward who’s too ashamed to admit so—well, not anymore. I’m growing on this new knowledge,” she laughed and it caused me to smile. It wasn’t some mask to make her feel like she had a point. I honestly felt like smiling at this very moment. Ages it has been since I enjoyed the feeling of a smile on my lips.

“You should think that a person who carries the knowledge of the possibility of their own death in the near future would start to wither and fade away from grief of a life that soon will never be. Instead, you’re glowing with each day a little brighter. Your voice echoes through the halls louder, when you used to be so silent.”

She stepped a little closer, her smile growing as she tipped her head back to look at me. “I figured grieving an empty life might be miserable. So if my soul is destined to eventually pass, I want memories to keep me alive. Memories of joy, happiness, love and perhaps a bud of hope to keep these feelings going.”

I reached out to brush a streak that had fallen into her face behind her ear. Surprisingly, she let me without pulling back.

“Am I your friend, Archer Kingstone?” She breathed the question in a whisper.

Friend is such an untruth definition of your value to me.

But I couldn’t say that.

I opened my mouth, but the door swung open and Doe twisted around to Nathaniel, who stood in the doorway. He wore one of his grandmother’s knitted jumpers she gifts him every year for both Christmas and his birthday. What he also wore was a warning look that lay fully on me.

I wanted to slap it right off his face for doing his best in being our unwanted chaperone, but deep down I was aware that what he was doing was the only right way.

“A tall blonde woman who wears the constant expression of disgust is asking for you in the main hall, Doe,” he told the girl beside me, whose face fell a little.

“That’s for sure my mother,” she mumbled and gave me a tight smile before making her way to the door, where Nathaniel made way for her. “Don’t forget about the play!” he called after her as she jogged up the stairs.

“I could never!”

When the sound of the bookshelf clicking back in place sounded, my brother turned to look at me.

“Don’t,” I warned, already knowing what he wanted to say.

“If you know it, why aren’t you holding back?”

“It’s not that easy.”

“I know—”

“No, you don’t understand. When she’s away, I feel this constant pain in my chest. I feel hollow and the only thing that’s pumping through my veins is rage. But when she’s there, it’s like I’m complete and this unbearable rage at the whole universe disappears when her light surrounds me,” I tried to explain what torture these feelings were to me. “And you know what’s worse than knowing if I let her in? Not knowing if these feelings towards her are real or a part of the curse.”

The Kingstone’s and De Loughrey’s fell for each other in every timeline, and in none their love succeeded.

We were damned to suffer from a love cursed to be our ruin.

“I can’t tell you that the invisible string that connects you and Doe isn’t a part of this curse. But I can tell you that everything you feel is nothing but the truth. And you can’t deny it. These feelings are eating you alive, and they grow stronger the more time you spend with her,” Nathaniel said, leaning against the wall behind him.

“You saw it.” It wasn’t a question, I knew he did.

“It’s difficult to see anything else these days than two souls dancing in the light of the other.” He pushed off the wall and sighed sadly, stepping closer. “Archer, you’re my brother and God knows, the only thing I wish for you is happiness. Don’t you think we’re not seeing it? The way you’re looking at her, or how she awoke something inside you none of us ever did?” Nathaniel squeezed my shoulders. “In another universe I’d tell you to make her yours, but in this… if you try and make the bed, you’ll die in it.”

“But what if we won’t?”

My friend squeezed his lips into a thin line. “Archer—”

“No, what if this is how we break the curse?”

“That’s how James and Dottie died,” he told me in a low voice.

“James and Dottie didn’t know about the curse. They didn’t know enough about their abilities, where they come from and the Book of Shadows. We do, we’re on the right track and James begged me to break the cycle.”

Nathaniel’s eyes softened, but he shook his head. “You’re getting deluded, brother. Fate won’t spare you from death if you choose this path. Maisie and I are trying—we’re trying so hard to see a way around your destiny… but there is no path that leads to a future for the both of you if you give into this longing.”

My heart shattered inside my chest at his words. It wasn’t like I was completely ignorant until he spoke the truth. I have known the truth for so long now that it’s been eating me alive.

I think, for the time, I had hope.

Nathaniel’s hand was pushed off me and I pressed my lips tightly together as I swallowed hard, narrowing my gaze. “What if I want to risk everything just to be able to feel something? Maybe I’m sick of the life I was given. Death doesn’t scare me because what has this life ever given me except for pain?”

When I looked up again, my best friend’s grey eyes blinked tiredly. “You know I understand you. Before Maisie came into my life… you know what I tried the day she saved me from leaving this earth. Why do you think I’m trying so hard to find a path for you where Doe could be a part of your life? Because I know how it feels, and I also know that we’re not enough to save you.”

I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t disagree, and I hated myself for that.

“Don’t,” he said. “It’s okay, brother.”

I shook my head, “no, it’s not. If I save myself, it’ll be her end. But if I don’t, it’ll be the death of me. When will I ever be allowed to be selfish for once?”

“Responsibility doesn’t come with selfishness.”

“I never wanted these responsibilities. I just wanted to feel something. And now—now, I have to go back to that house where—”

“Where what?” he demanded.

I shook my head, rubbing my hand over my face. “Nothing. My parents and Elsie surely have arrived by now. I see you at the play, Nathaniel.” Pushing past him, he attempted to reach for me, but I pushed him away, not even bothering to tell him to stop.

I wanted out of here.

Out of this body.

Just away from all of my problems.

Panic started to rise in me, and my legs moved faster and faster, carrying me to the great hall on their own.

My ears started ringing and everyone suddenly started to move fast and in a blur. The only sound I could hear was my own heart’s erratic beat. I looked around, searching for something, someone to hold on to as my breathing turned too fast and my head began swimming.

My body was turning against me and I didn’t understand why.

Was it a spirit haunting me?

Is it James?

I looked down at my hands, seeing them, but I couldn’t feel them. They felt ice-cold, and numbness crept through my veins.

Was death claiming me sooner because I wanted to live?

“Mister Kingstone, are you feeling all right?” A voice made its way through the ringing to me, and I looked up in horror, seeing Chadwick in front of me.

My hands moved, but my brain sent me signals that they weren’t there—they were an illusion. But how could they pull on the collar of my shirt then, trying to get air into my lungs?

Everything felt so unworldly.

Was I even real?

“I don’t know what’s—what’s wrong with me,” I stuttered from the tremors that wrecked through my body, as the sensation of fear finally made its way into my brain.

I was dying.

Chadwick laid his arm around my shoulder, and his grip felt almost like the touch of spirits when they materialise through our beliefs. Light but there.

Since when was Chadwick a damn spirit?

He led me outside to the empty garden behind the school, and even if I had wanted to, I wasn’t able to protest.

The cold air hit my lungs, and every breath of air hurt like needles piercing my insides. Pain. I felt pain . If I was able to register pain, I was still alive. Dead people couldn’t feel physical pain.

“Do you want to sit down?” The man who still held me upright asked calmly, and I believe I nodded, but I couldn’t be sure because every move I made felt so far away.

The next thing I knew was that coldness spread through my thighs and my hands gripped the stone bench hard until my fingertips hurt so much they started to tingle, making the numbness disappear.

“Archer, right? Am I allowed to call you Archer?” Chadwick went down on one knee in front of me, and I cringed a little.

“No,” I huffed. I hated that anyone but my friends used my first name. Especially when a teacher did that.

Chadwick nodded in acknowledgment of my preference. “Alright, however you like. Mister Kingstone.”

How was he even so calm?

I am in agony right in front of him. Shouldn't he get help, or at least try to help me?

“What can you see at this very moment?”

“What?” I hissed in confusion, inhaling and exhaling like an idiot.

“Describe to me three things you can see—the weather, the garden, whatever catches your eye.”

“Grey sky.” I drew my gaze over the high maze hedges that closed onto the garden. “The maze.” My eyes were going too fast for my brain. I was going to be sick.

What the fuck was happening to me?

“What else?” Chadwick asked, gaining my attention.

“A man with a terrible haircut.” The truth blurred out of me before I could just shut my mouth like I always did. But come on, that man wore his hair slicked back like some wannabe mafia leader.

“That’s debatable, but okay. Now tell me three things you can hear.” He wasn’t angry. All he was, was so stupidly calm. Nothing was calm about this situation.

I stared at him for a long moment before I tried to listen past the ringing in my ears. There was the sound of children laughing as their parents and siblings arrived, the sound of the howling wind and cars driving up the gateway. I described the sounds to him, and he listened as if anything I said was the slightest bit interesting.

Chadwick nodded before he sighed sadly. “It’s so sad that the birds have already made their way south. I loved to hear them snicker before my window in the morning. They even inspired me to buy them a tiny house I installed on my windowsill.”

I crooked an eyebrow, confused as to why a teacher was telling me about his weird love for random birds, making his windowsill a home just for them to shit all over it as a thank-you present.

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked and noticed that my voice wasn’t shaking from my tremors any more. While reality began to hit me hard, I felt the weight of what had just happened.

Chadwick stood up, straightening his smart shirt, before he adjusted his jacket that had been pushed up by his trousers on one side. “You had a panic attack. I was trying to get your mind off whatever caused this inner chaos.”

I pushed myself to my feet and frowned, disagreeing with him. “I don’t have panic attacks.”

“There is nothing shameful about life just sometimes being a little too much, Mister Kingstone.”

“Right, because it didn’t happen. I was stressed and angry and—” what was I going to tell him? That mine and the life of the only girl I ever felt something for will end if I seek my own happiness?

Chadwick put his hand on my arm, but I shrugged him off in anger. I didn’t want him to fucking baby me. I didn’t have a panic attack. I’m not an anxious person, nor am I overrun by life. I have everything under control.

“I can see that you’re in anger and denial right now, but if you seek someone to talk to, feel free to contact me. That’s what I’m here for.”

“I don’t need anyone to talk to. This was nothing more than a slip-up, and I don’t want anyone to know about this.”

The last thing I needed right now was some professional trying to help me again.

He nodded. “I respect your decision, but keep my offer in mind.”

I said nothing as I made my way back inside. My legs weren’t shaking any more, but I felt like I had just received the beating of my life, and exhaustion claimed every part of me.

This didn’t happen.

I can’t break on something I have no right to be breaking on.