Page 65 of The Laird's Wicked Game
“Are ye really such a fazart, lass?” she asked herself softly. There were no guards nearby, so she didn’t risk being overheard. Her chest started to ache piteously, and she raised a hand and rubbed at her breastbone with her knuckles. It seemed she was.
She imagined her life back at Meggernie Castle then. Makenna’s concern. Her mother’s panic. Her father’s disappointment. So many questions she wouldn’t, couldn’t,answer. She’d feel like a burden to everyone: the widow who didn’t fit in anywhere.
Of course, her mother—devoutly pious—would likely suggest Kylie become a nun. It was a good solution for high-born widows who didn’t wish to remarry. She had no coin to pay the dowry, but her father would, if she asked. Nonetheless, the idea didn’t appeal. The thought of locking herself away in a nunnery didn’t thrill her. Such a life seemed like a punishment.
She squeezed her eyes shut then, silently cursing herself. She was a mess, her feelings in such a tangle that she felt as if she were losing her wits. Fresh tears burned behind her eyelids, and try as she may to stem them, they slid free.
Soon she was weeping, her head bowed, shoulders shaking.
It was too much.
She couldn’t go on like this. Choking down her feelings was tearing her to pieces.
A sob clawed its way up her throat, and she slammed a hand over her mouth to muffle it.
I love him.
God’s bones, she did. There was no denying it. The thought of leaving Rae behind, of never hearing the rumble of his voice, or seeing the boyish quirk of his smile that lifted years from his face, made her feel as if she were about to climb the steps to the hangman’s noose. He was a part of her now, and pushing him away hurt too much.
Swallowing another sob, she opened her eyes.
A faint glow lightened the eastern horizon. Dawn was on its way.
And with the sunrise, something deep inside Kylie shifted. She was still terrified. Still a churning maelstrom of conflict. But she wouldn’t ruin this one chance of happiness.
No, she’d go to Rae and tell him how shereallyfelt.
She’d bare her soul and expose herself to ridicule and pain.
For the first time in her life, she’d risk her heart.
Pulse racing, she turned from the wall. She then swept her gaze over the broch, still shadowed by darkness, her attention shifting to the nearest set of stairs leading down to the barmkin.
However, she’d taken just one step toward it when movement below caught her eye.
25: A TREACHEROUS DAWN
KYLIE HALTED, HER gaze narrowing as she peered down at the shadowy barmkin. Like the braziers upon the walls, the torches hanging from chains below were starting to gutter—and some of them had gone out.
Visibility was poor, yet there was no mistaking the silhouettes of men who crept across the courtyard.
Instinctively, she dropped to a crouch. Standing up on the walls, outlined by the sky, made her far too easy to spot.
Breath held, she scrutinized the figures for a few moments. Since she’d been outdoors for a spell, her eyes had adjusted to the dim light. As such, she easily made out half a dozen of them. But as she looked on, more emerged, crawling like wasps from what appeared to be an open drain directly below her.
Her pulse started to thump in her ears.
She was the only one who’d seen them. The guards were all facing the wrong way, looking out to sea and land for any sign of trouble—not realizing that danger was right behind them.
I must raise the alarm!
There was a bell tower above the gates, yet that was too far away. She’d never reach it in time. She had to do something though—if she didn’t, the broch would be overrun.
Her breath gusted out of her before she drew in another, deep, lungful of air. Fear clutched at her chest as the moments slid by—and then she mastered it.
Exhilaration swept over her. Fire ignited in her gut as fierce determination swelled under her breastbone. A door inside her gave way, and on the other side, she found her voice, her courage.
A moment later, she screamed, “To arms! Enemies within the walls!”