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A code of honor among rogues . . .
My, her brother had certainly made the nature of his bargain with Finn clear, hadn’t he? As Macie wandered through her garden, the words tumbled about in her thoughts. Again. And again. The words had cut her deeply, though Jon had no way of knowing what he’d done. Evidently, Finn had no desire to reveal the turn their relationship had taken.
He had no reason to, now did he? Even as the pain went bone-deep, she had to face the truth. He had not lied to her. Not really. Finn had made her no promises. He’d uttered no declarations of forever . The word love had never passed his lips.
Despite her heart’s dull ache, she knew the truth. Finn had fulfilled the terms of their bargain—the very terms she’d set. She had expected him to play the part of the besotted bodyguard. The heiress and her rake. Those had been her own blasted words. She’d thought herself clever then.
Now, she knew what a foolish game she’d played.
What’s your bloody secret? Macie rebels at any attempt to rein her in. Her brother’s words burned in her mind. How dare he speak of her as if she were an unsolvable problem to be contained.
Her cheeks heated with anger at the very thought. Macie pulled in a long, slow breath to calm herself. Dipping her head low, she drank in the lush aroma of her roses. She closed her eyes, savoring the scent. Such a true pleasure.
Pleasure.
She opened her eyes and moved to the ornate wrought iron bench. She’d allowed herself to be swept away by the pure bliss she’d found in his Finn’s arms. My goodness, she’d never experienced anything like the delight of his touch when he held her. When he kissed her. When he explored her body. So gentle and tender and deliciously sensuous.
Finn had never pressed her to do anything she hadn’t wanted to do. In truth, he’d refused to take all she’d wanted to give. No wonder, that. Now, it all seemed so very clear. As it was, each of them could go their separate ways with no complications. Nothing to cause a scandal. Nothing to permanently bind him to her, nor her to him. Nothing that would compromise her value on the marriage mart. And above all, nothing that might endanger the business deal he’d negotiated—a deal which involved reining in Jon’s wild, wayward sister as if she were a beast to be tamed.
Finn had played it smart, hadn’t he?
Perhaps Jon was right—there truly was honor among rogues.
Pity she had not heeded his warning. I’ve reason to think it’s a game we should not be playing. She hadn’t taken his true meaning then.
But now, she understood all too well.
Cleo strolled up to her and meowed, then jumped onto a high-backed chair. Seated as she was, regarding Macie with a pensive gaze, the cat looked rather like the pet of some long-dead Egyptian ruler.
Smiling to herself, she took the folded letter from her pocket and reread the neatly penned missive. Professor Aylesworth’s script was as measured and controlled as he was.
I have secured a place for you and a traveling companion of your choosing on our research expedition. We shall depart in a fortnight. Please advise as to yourdecision.
Yours, P.N. Aylesworth
The journey would be an adventure she’d carry with her for the rest of her life. At first, she could not truly contemplate accepting the position. The thought of leaving Finn behind had filled her with doubt, especially when their future seemed to be in the process of unfolding.
But now, that was no longer a consideration, was it?
The sound of heavy bootsteps and Mrs. Tuttle scolding someone drifted to her ears, alerting her even before the French doors opened that her peace was to be short-lived.
Finn strode onto the terrace with an exasperated Mrs. Tuttle on his heels.
“I tried to tell him not to come in, Miss Macie,” she said. “But he’s a hard-headed man.”
“That I am,” he said, his tone low and gruff. “I require a few moments of Miss Mason’s time.” He narrowed his eyes. “Without yer presence.”
Macie met the older woman’s anxious eyes. “It’s all right, Mrs. Tuttle. You may go.”
“You’re quite certain?”
“Yes.” Macie nodded as she refolded the letter and tucked it inside her skirt pocket. “Thank you.”
After the housekeeper had departed, Macie met Finn’s direct gaze. “So, you’ve come to collect whatever items you’ve left behind?” She gave a little shrug. “You did not need to trouble yourself. I would have asked Mrs. Tuttle to gather them up and have them delivered to you.”
He came to her, motioning to the bench. “Might I join ye?”
Emotion welled within her, but she was determined to maintain a calm demeanor, even as her pulse sped up. She would not allow him to see how he’d affected her. “Please, do make yourself comfortable.”
He glanced at Cleo, who seemed to be actually scowling at him. “If that were a hound, I’d be worried she was giving thought to sinking her teeth into me.”
“I’d say it’s still a possibility.” She forced a little smile. “If I were you, I would not let down my guard.”
“Point taken.” He reached for her hand, but she primly laced her fingers together and folded them in her lap. He nodded his understanding. “Macie, I don’t know what ye heard, but I can explain.”
“I find no explanation is needed. Perhaps we should have announced our presence... but you must see how your conversation with my brother was quite informative,” she said, keeping her tone even by sheer will. “Once again, allow me to congratulate you on closing the deal with my brother for those all-important contracts. You fulfilled the terms of your agreement.” She willed herself to speak the words that were so very bitter. “Just as you fulfilled the terms of our bargain. Quite brilliantly, I’d say.”
He raked a hand through his hair. “Macie, it’s not what ye think.”
“Isn’t it?” Tears she refused to shed scalded the back of her throat. “My brother has long treated me as a problem to be dealt with, just as he managed the so-called minor catastrophes that arise within my family’s businesses. This time, my brother recruited you, of all people, to rein me in. And you did so, and in fine form. How did he put it?” She pinned him with her gaze. “The charade kept her out of trouble, or some other drivel.”
“Yer ridiculous scheme was not my idea, Macie. I told ye what I thought of it.”
“But yet, you went along with it. And you took it a step further. You led me to think you were different.” She dragged in a breath. “You weren’t like Jon and my father and all the others. You weren’t a man who wanted to control me. You made me feel as though you valued me. And my dreams. And I believed you.” She swallowed hard, determined to say what needed to be said. “Which part was real, Finn? And which was simply a convenient means of managing Jon’s rebellious sister in order to close your deal?”
She dropped her gaze to the stones on the terrace, fighting the urge to weep. To cry out. To plead with him to convince her she had it all wrong.
“Macie, look at me, lass.” His voice was low and rough and edged with gravel.
She forced back the tears and faced him with her chin held high. “I suppose Jon was right. You did keep me out of trouble, so to speak. I was too busy hanging on your every sweet whisper.”
He stood silent for a long moment, his expression unreadable. “So that’s it, Macie? Ye think everything I said, everything I did... ye think it was all a lie?”
“Not a lie.” Her heart softened as emotion flared in his amber gaze. “It’s possible we were caught up in the moment. After all, you are a man. And I am a woman.” She drew in a low breath as the memory of their passion washed over her like a stormy wave. “Circumstances neither of us could have predicted compelled you to stay near, day and night. Danger heightens emotions, does it not?”
Gently, he cupped his hand against her cheek. “Macie, what occurred between us was more than the heat of the moment.”
“In my heart, I wanted to believe you’re better than the rest... better than the heiress hunters.” Blinking back tears, she met his gaze. “Jon wanted to know your secret... wanted to know how you kept me in line, as if I were an errant child.”
He plowed his fingers through his hair again. “He is wrong to think of ye in that way.”
“I would have to say I agree.”
“I do agree with him on one point. Ye’re a force of nature, Macie.” He drew the tip of his finger along the curve of her cheek, seeming to study her. “Believe me when I say I did not lie to ye.” His voice grew rough with emotion.
“I do believe you. Hearing the words from your lips, I at least feel comforted that you did not deceive me.” She came to her feet and went to the wrought-iron fence, peering out into the street just beyond the garden gate. “You told me you wanted me.”
“I meant every word,” he said, following her. “Ye should know that.”
“I believe I do,” she said. “And I wanted you. Quite desperately, really. But you would not take what I so willingly offered. I wanted to feel that I was yours, body and soul.” She swallowed hard against the burning lump in her throat. “But you could not allow yourself to take my oh-so-precious virginity. I suppose there is, indeed, honor among rogues.”
A muscle in his jaw worked with tension. “It was not the time. Nor the place. Ye deserve better than a clandestine tumble in the dead of night.”
“Shouldn’t I have had a say in that decision?” She pulled in a long breath and held his gaze. “I knew my own mind, Finn. And I knew I wanted you, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. But you held back. You would not ruin me.” She sighed. “God, how I detest that word. But absurdly, it’s how my worth is judged. And you... you would not risk going against your equally absurd rogues’ code.”
Heat flared in his gaze. “What happened between us had nothing to do with any blasted code.”
“As I recall, you did not correct my brother on that notion. And you did not inform him that you played a far more intimate role in my life than brawny chaperone.” She felt a tear slide down her cheek. She swiped it away and searched his eyes for the truth. “Finn, I’ve no reason to believe those moments we spent together were more than a fleeting passion for you. And most likely, one of many.”
He regarded her for the span of several heartbeats, his jaw hardened as he studied her. “That’s where you’re wrong, Macie,” he said, his voice a gritty rasp. “I’ve never known a woman like ye. And I doubt I ever will again.”
“Ah, we’ve well established that I’m a blasted original . I suspect any woman with a mind of her own who dares to show it might be described as such.” She swiped away another rebellious tear. “Tell me, Finn, how am I to believe what went between us was more than a flare of passion between a man and a woman? It isn’t as if you’ve said you love me.”
“And if I did speak those words?” He scrubbed a hand against his jaw. “Would that make this right?”
“Make it right? Ever the problem solver, eh?” She slowly shook her head. “Finn, I don’t know what’s left to be said. Why did you come here?”
His jaw hardened, even as he caught her hand in his. “I needed to talk to ye. Ye’ve already made yer decision about Athens. But ye should reconsider.”
“Should I now?” Unable to stop herself, she reached out and touched his face, drawing her fingertip over the bristles of new beard on his unshaven jaw. “I’ve decided it’s best if I leave London for a time. And you must admit, it is a grand opportunity.”
“Ye shouldn’t leave, Macie. Not now.”
“If not now—when? After all, there’s no point in delaying it. Your time as my besotted bodyguard has come to an end. Jon certainly won’t approve of you sleeping in the servants’ quarters now that he’s back, will he?”
“Macie, ye have to listen to me.”
She turned to her roses, pinching off a spent bud, then another. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything to Jon that might endanger the deal you wanted so badly.”
“And if I told ye I did not give a damn about the contracts?”
Much more of this, and she’d entirely lose control. The very last thing she wanted was to weep before him.
“You would be lying if you said those contracts didn’t matter. I can only imagine how lucrative the deal must be for your family’s business.” She snapped off another withered bud. “As for our arrangement, you’ve certainly fulfilled your part.” She moved to the doors. “I will leave for Athens in a fortnight. Until then, I need to clear my head. I’d prefer that we stay apart.”
Finn came after her, but he did not reach for her. Did not touch her. Did not kiss her. Rather, he stood very still, as if stunned by what had gone between them.
“Regardless of what happens between us, ye should not go to Greece. Not now. Not with that arrogant bag of wind.”
“Arrogant, is he? My, isn’t that ironic, coming from Phineas Caldwell.” She squared her shoulders and hiked her chin. “I see no reason not to seize this opportunity. Why, even Jon did not voice an objection. I will have a companion, after all. There will no question of harm to my precious good name .”
“Ye’re not a na?ve lass. The man might respect yer talent. But ye should not trust his motives.”
Ah, the gall of this man .
“I am growing weary of men telling me what I am and am not allowed to do.” A defiance filled her, and she hiked her chin. “At the end of my life, I do not wish to regret missed opportunities.”
“Macie, listen to me.” He spoke the words in a raw voice.
She gulped against another surge of emotion. “I think you should leave now.”
“As ye wish.” He’d made his way from the terrace into the sitting room when he turned back. “This isn’t about us, Macie. Do not underestimate that man. He’s not a noble fop ye can easily best.”
She hiked her brows, throwing him a glare. “And what would make you think I would want to best him?”
“Macie, that’s the game ye’ve learned to play.”