Page 48 of The Krampus's First Christmas Gift

“It is not so bad though. You do not need to feel sorry for me, Jasper. At least Krampus Night is only one night a year.”

“But do you really have to go?” Jasper asked. “I mean, you hate it so much.”

“Not going would mean turning my back on being a krampus, on my duty, and on my family. I could not do that.”

“I understand,” Jasper said.

Although, Kraghol could almost hear in Jasper’s tone that he wanted to push back or argue. They walked silently amongst shrubs with dried and shrivelled brown leaves.

Jasper opened his mouth. He shut it. He opened it again. “Maybe after Krampus Night, you could come and visit me in the city. You could see my apartment and the bakery.” He smiled. “I think you’d really?—”

Kraghol shook his head. “No.” His heart rate picked up. “I could not do that. I could not go into the city.” He was not so foolish as to try that again.

“But… You’d like the bakery and the apartment,” Jasper pressed. “I’m sure you would.”

Again Kraghol shook his head. His brows furrowed.

Didn’t Jasper understand? He was a krampus! A krampus couldn’t just wonder around the city and visit apartments and bakeries. His breathing came faster.

Kraghol dropped Jasper’s hand. He turned and faced Jasper. “It doesn’t matter whether or not I’d like it.” In fact, he’d love to see Jasper’s home and the bakery where he spent so much time. He’d love to be able to walk into Anorra without being yelled or spat at, or having objects flung at him. “But I don’t belong in such a place.”

Jasper frowned. “In my apartment? Or the bakery?”

“In the city. I do not go there except for Krampus Night. Jasper, the city folk do not wish to see me. They would be horrified.”

Kraghol fought to keep his face blank as images flashed in the back of his mind. A lady screaming at the mere sight of him.“Leave us be, krampus.”Children fleeing before him.“We have enough of your kind on Krampus Night!”A stone being hurled and striking him.“Just fuck off!”

Kraghol tried to keep his breathing steady.

Jasper opened his mouth, but Kraghol spoke first, “I am a creature of darkness! This forest is where I belong.” His hands shook. “Anyone who saw me in the city would scream or run or attack me. I do not belong in Anorra and definitely not in your home.”

Kraghol waved a hand at his grotesque form. “I mean, look at me!”

“I am looking at you, Kraghol.” Jasper gripped his wrist. “I see you. And I say you should come and visit me. Why do you say you don’t belong in Anorra?”

“Because I am a monster!” Kraghol snarled. “There is no place for me there.”

Jasper didn’t speak for a moment. “There could be,” he said softly. “With me.”

But Kraghol just shook his head, tugging his arm from Jasper’s grip.

How could Jasper not see it? How could Jasper not see what he was? Jasper dropped his gaze to the snow between them.

“I wish things were different. I wish I could visit you. I truly do. But I can’t.” Kraghol did not want a repeat of what had happened all those years ago. He couldn’t bear that.

“I don’t see why not,” Jasper said. “One of my brothers is with an orc. Another is with a gargoyle. My sister is with a troll. Some people are arseholes, especially to Graal, the orc, and Orim, the troll. But they still live in Anorra. They have for many years.”

“It’s not the same.” Kraghol shook his head. “They can make lives for themselves in the city. Krampuses cannot. Maybe because they have not spent generations relishing being monsters who terrorise city folk once a year.”

“You don’t relish that either!” Jasper protested.

Kraghol took a deep breath. He didn’t want to tell Jasper about the time he’d tried to enter the city. There was toomuch shame and pain in that memory to speak it aloud. So he swallowed, and simply said, “I am a krampus. I cannot be a part of your world. Ever. That is all there is to it.”

He turned away then. “It is getting late. I should walk you to the forest edge so you can return home.” He began walking.

After a second, Jasper fell into step beside him.

Chapter