Page 34 of The Kingdom of Eternal Ice (Under the Werewolf Crown #1)

thirty-four

Love

*AZADEH*

I blink my eyes open, my gaze falling on the handsome man next to me. I’ve never been intimate with a man before, not even let one sleep next to me, but with Ende I feel no pressure, no fear. We hadn’t done much yesterday, just kissed, and he carried me to bed.

I asked him to stay, reluctant to let him go.

“I can get used to this,” he smiles as he opens his eyes, his beautiful silver gaze captivating me.

“Me too,” I admit.

“This is a dream, Azadeh,” he says. “Ever since I saw you, you have struck something in me. And when I got to know you, I knew there would never be another woman for me, but you.”

“And, if you find your mate?” I ask.

“My wolf and I chose you,” he says. “We have a choice, Aza, and it’s you.”

“Caspian, too?”

I can see something in his eyes flash as his wolf comes to the surface. “You remember my name,” Caspian says in his husky voice. It’s fascinating how different they sound, how their expression changes, although they share the same body.

“Of course, I remember your name.” I reach out my hand to touch his cheek. “Is it true?” I ask. “That you are willing to miss out on your mate for me?”

“You are our mate,” he says firmly before wrapping me in his arms and pressing me against his chest. “This is real. I’m not giving you up. I want your everything, forever. And once your beautiful neck carries our mark, there won’t be any going back. If our mate exists, she’d be set free, and the goddess will choose someone else for her.”

I feel a bit flustered at his straightforward display of affection, but also happy. “Then, I will take you at your word.”

Caspian eventually hands the rein back to Endellion, and we lie next to each other for a while, just talking and enjoying each other’s presence, before we decide we need to get up for breakfast, and face Caelan and Flinn.

I wonder what they are going to say. Over the last couple of weeks, we have all developed a tight bond with each other. Caelan feels like a protector to me, while Flinn is like the little brother I never had. Granted, he is older than me, but he is mischievous and fun. I was never able to develop a bond with my siblings, aside from Kiyan, my older brother. With Flinn, I can be silly and stupid, and not care what anyone would think about me.

I hope they won’t hold it against me that I’m robbing Endellion of his mate, that I’m preventing him from finding this one special person.

But, I love him so much that I can’t help but be selfish.

I can feel my heartbeat picking up its pace when we walk downstairs to the dining room, where the innkeeper serves us breakfast. Endellion must have noticed it because he takes my hand and squeezes it. “Don’t worry,” he says gently, a smile curling his lips.

His smile is so beautiful. He is always so serious and zealous, but when he is with me, he shows me his gentle and sweet side.

Downstairs, Flinn and Caelan already await us. “Ende!” Flinn calls out, hurrying to us. He hugs Endellion first, before squeezing me and twirling me around in a silly manner. “I’m so happy for you.”

“I am too,” Caelan says, as usual, not wasting any words, but he looks sincere and happy. He gives Endellion a swift hug and pats my head in an awkwardly affectionate gesture.

“Finally,” Flinn grins. “I was wondering when he’d make a move on you, Aza. Or vice versa.”

Endellion pulls me back into his arms and raises his eyebrows at him. “So, you knew?”

“Yep, first day, and you were already smitten. Don’t deny it.”

“I won’t.” He kisses the top of my head.

“I had no idea, never been good at noticing other’s feelings,” Caelan admits. “But it makes sense now. And you are a perfect match. I’m sure if Ende had a mate, it would be you, Azadeh.”

For a moment, we are all silent. “Thank you,” Endellion says, and I can hear how touched he feels by his brother's kind words.

“Are you going to hold a marking ceremony?” Flinn wants to know.

“Of course,” Endellion says. “That is, if Azadeh agrees to let me mark her.”

As if I wouldn’t. Kilah has told me about these ceremonies, and while I’m not one to like being in the spotlight; to the wolves, it’s like a wedding. To know Endellion is so committed to me makes my heart flutter. “I’d be happy to carry your mark.”

“I don’t want to rush you, though.”

“You are not rushing me,” I point out. “There is no other man for me, and if I could, I would claim you myself.”

Endellion’s eyes flash again, Caspian looking at me through his fiery eyes, a smile curling his lips. “We’ll set the date once we are at home,” he says, his voice sounding a shade hoarser again.

“We are done here, anyway,” Flinn says while we sit down and finally have our breakfast. “We should visit Erin once more, though, to help Azadeh with keeping her walls and barriers up.”

“Yes, she expects me before lunch,” I say, “and will give me some instructions. Aylin will further be able to help me.” I am wondering why Aylin didn’t help me in the first place. Maybe she wanted us to make this journey.

“We could start our journey back after lunch,” Caelan points out.

“I was thinking we could take a little detour,” Endellion says.

His brothers eye him curiously before their eyes glaze over. I wish I could mind link them too, but maybe once Endellion marked me, I will have that connection to him and the pack. “That’s a fantastic idea,” Caelan says out aloud, pulling me out of my thoughts.

Flinn nods. “Smooth, Ende, I’m impressed.”

I’m curious as to what they are planning, but reign it in. I will learn soon enough. For now, I should rather focus on my visit to Erin.

This time, however, it's far less spectacular. She seems to be very pleased when she hears that Endellion chose me as his mate.

“Any more hallucinations?” she asks gently. “Or dreams?”

“No,” I say, blinking slightly. “Actually, I didn’t dream at all.”

“Did Endellion spend the rest of the night with you?” she asks.

I feel my cheeks heating up. “Not like that… it’s… I didn’t do anything… improper.”

“Oh child,” she chuckles. “These are wolves. Even if you did the deed, no one would belittle you.”

“Oh, but still…”

“I know Prince Endellion wouldn’t take advantage of you,” she assures me. “I really just wanted to know if he stayed in the same room as you.”

“He did.”

She furrows her brows, obviously in deep thoughts. “Maybe his presence grounds you.”

“Is this really possible?”

“You were still very vulnerable, and your mind was an easy target, yet whoever attacked you - I’m taking the guess that it was the lady in white - didn’t return. It could have been because of the prince’s presence. Whatever it was,” she looks at me. “Keep him close. It might help you.”

“Wouldn’t that mean we share a very deep connection?” I ask. “Although we aren’t mates…”

“You share a deep connection. We know that through the prophecy,” she pauses. “We don’t know what it fully means, but Endellion is right for you, and you are for him.”

“I hope he won’t find this weird,” I mutter.

Again, Erin just laughs. “I doubt he will.” She hands me a bag with herbs and tells me to burn them every night before I go to bed, then she shows me some more meditation techniques. “Aylin is a fantastic witch. Her defenses are very good,” she assures me. “Stick to the exercises I gave you and let her help you further.”

“Thank you, Erin.”

Erin looks at me for a long while before she pulls me into a hug. “Be careful, my Desert Princess, and may the goddess keep an eye on you.”

I feel touched by her words, returning her hug before I reluctantly leave her hut. Endellion and his brothers are already awaiting me, eagerly ushering me to my lunch. To my surprise, they have already packed everything and made sure the horses are ready.

I smile at Endellion. “Your surprise must be good.”

“I hope you will like it,” he says, pulling me closer and kissing me gently.

It reminds me of what Erin just told me. “Would you mind moving into my room when we return? Or, I could move into yours. I know this is weird, but Erin thinks it could help me…”

He looks at me in surprise, a smirk curling his lips. “I like how bold you are.”

“No, really, Erin said your presence might help me with my dream walking,” I point out, not wanting him to win that easily.

“Oh, I will send her a letter of gratitude later,” he says.

His words make me chuckle. Fine, he can win. “So, what do you say?” I tease. “I don’t want to force you into something you aren’t ready for.”

“Is that a joke?” he grumbles, wrapping me tighter in his arms. “Like I’d pass on the chance to spend every night with you, from now on.”

I feel my cheeks warm at his words. I wasn’t aware how bold he can be with his feelings, but I’m really liking this side of him.

“Are you lovebirds ready?” Flinn calls towards us.

“We’re coming,” I assure him.

Endellion and I say goodbye to the innkeepers before joining Caelan, Flinn and our guards. I’m eager to ride Enora again, my beautiful, prideful mare, and she greets me with a little snort before rubbing her head against my shoulder. I make a mental note to visit her daily and spend time with her, so we can build our bond further.

After mounting my mare, Caelan leads the way with Endellion, while Flinn joins me to talk and gossip a bit. He tells me plenty of fun stories of their siblings and opens up about his difficult relationship with Kilah.

“I know she is my sister, and I love her,” he sighs. “But, she has said so many hurtful things growing up. She constantly looked down on Caelan because, for her, he wasn’t smart enough; Alana because she wasn’t feminine enough, and Nevyn because he wasn’t manly enough.” He groans in frustration. “She is so fucking judgmental.”

“It must have felt terrible to see everyone’s feelings get hurt,” I tell him. Kilah has been very nice to me, and I consider her a friend. I know she has made attempts to change and mend her relationship with her family, but Flinn’s frustration is valid too.

“You are not telling me to suck it up and get over it?”

“No,” I say quietly. “I really like Kilah a lot, but I’m not going to invalidate your feelings. You have a right to be upset and forgive on your terms, at your own pace.”

“You say Kilah is your friend,” he points out. “But, are you aware that she only befriended you because you are an elegant, mysterious princess and fit into her beauty standards?” He looks instantly guilty after he says it. “That was mean,” he sighs. “I don’t want to sabotage her friendship with you.”

“I know it,” I admit. “But, it doesn’t matter why she sought out my friendship, at first. She stuck around, she is still here and is still my friend. Although she realized I’m far from the perfect, dazzling princess she imagined. And, while Simin is more of a friend to Alana, she and Kilah get along well, too. Simin loves clothes and has a good eye for fashion. They clicked, despite the difference in their ranks.”

“That’s true,” he says. “She’s changed ever since you and Simin came along and she befriended you.”

“Deep inside, she is just insecure,” I say quietly. “She feels all of you are special, while she is bland.”

“That’s stupid.”

“It is not,” I argue. “It’s her feelings, and they are valid, too.”

Flinn stays silent for a while before he lets out a sigh. “Alright, I will not work against her when she attempts to make amends. I will not go out of my way to be mean to her, but I can’t promise I will warm up to her so soon.”

“That’s alright,” I reassure him. “No one is forced to forgive in the blink of a moment.”

Flinn smiles. “You would be a fantastic luna.”

“Pardon me?”

“I’m just saying you would be cut out for the job, to be a leader in a way.”

“But, King Gillean hasn’t decided on his successor yet. It could be any of you.”

“Hm,” Flinn hums, but doesn’t say anything else. He has a sharp mind, sharper than anyone else I’ve met. It’s different from the intelligence Shayan displays, or Endellion. Flinn has the ability to look very deep. He can be sly and cunning if necessary. I wonder what he is pondering about now.

I soon get distracted, though, realizing that we are not taking the path we originally came on. Instead, the landscape gets more vacant with each mile we ride. There are fewer and fewer houses around. The wind gets stronger too and Endellion makes sure to wrap me in some additional blankets. There is a loud sound that gets louder the closer we get. Before we get too close though, everyone halts their horses and dismounts them. Flinn and Caelan run ahead, while the guards stay back with our horses. Endellion takes my hand, tugging me along while we follow his brothers.

The wind is cold and icy, and the snow beneath our feet is hard and crunchy, frozen by the wind. “Where are we?” I laugh, despite the cold wind, feeling warm in Endellion’s presence.

“You will see soon,” he promises.

“Come faster!” Flinn yells towards us and waves.

We pick up our pace, running up to Flinn and Caelan. When we reach them, the landscape opens up to a massive snow beach, leading towards a rough and almighty ocean, spreading into the seemingly never-ending horizon.

I gasp, letting go of Endellion’s hand to step a little closer. The wind is particularly rough here, as there are no rocks or trees blocking it. I knew one border of the kingdom was crossing the ocean, but it’s just been book-knowledge for me.

“Say something,” Endellion urges softly.

I feel my eyes tear up at the beauty and the power of the rough nature. “It’s so beautiful,” I whisper.

I feel so small face to face with this majestic nature, like my existence doesn’t matter much. But, instead of feeling small and crushed like back in the desert, this time I feel relieved. My existence doesn’t matter more than anyone else’s. I can’t change fate alone, but I can with my new friends and family.