Page 33 of The King of Whitechapel (Victorian Outcasts #7)

thirty-three

I NSTEAD OF BEING relieved at Rebecca’s confession, sadness had grown in Elizabeth’s head for days. Suspecting something and hearing the truth of it were two different things. Silly of her, but a tiny part of her had wished, hoped beyond hope that Rebecca hadn’t purposely wanted to destroy her life. She’d hoped it had been a mistake or a misunderstanding. She ought to learn not to be so na?ve. One might say that living on the streets should have cured her of naivety. Apparently, not.

So when Christopher told her that Pearce had come to talk to her, she wasn’t sure she should agree to see him. He was to blame as much as Rebecca for her predicament.

She paced in her bedroom, aware that Pearce was outside, waiting for her decision. To add insult to injury, Darko seemed to adore Pearce. The hound was yapping and making delightful noises while in the walkway with Pearce who spoke to him with soft tones and kind words. Love at first sight.

“Give him the possibility to talk,” Christopher said, holding her hands.

“As he gave it to me?”

He kissed her knuckles. “You’re right to be resentful, but he grew up with a mother who suffered from Father’s absence and blamed her pain on Father and me. He’s an insecure man.”

“Why are you defending him all of a sudden?” she asked, genuinely curious.

“Believe it or not, I feel sorry for him. He doesn’t have anyone while I have you and my friends here in the royal palace. He thinks that everyone lies to him, but he’s sorry for what he did.”

“Honestly, I’m confused.” She frowned. “One moment, he wanted to marry me. The next, he was happy to see me kicked out of my house. Now he wants to apologise.”

He stepped closer, his eyes pleading. “You didn’t want to accept Finn’s money because you said you were better than your father. You returned the contract to him because of your integrity. Don’t you think you should show the same integrity to Pearce?”

“I’m still debating.”

He chuckled and took her face. “Just hear what he has to say. It’ll be another opportunity for you to tell him to go to hell.”

Being resentful was exhausting, and perhaps he had a point. A small one, but still a point.

She would find closure and move on once and for all. “All right. I’ll talk to him, but I’m not sure how I feel. Too many emotions in a short time.”

“You’re an amazing woman.” He kissed her lips before leaving the room.

She mentally braced herself to meet Pearce again.

There was some truth in what Rebecca had said, though. Elizabeth had never wished to marry Pearce. She’d agreed to be courted, but deep down, she’d been aware she would have rejected him, no matter how the courtship would have gone.

The fact she didn’t love him didn’t mean his cruelty hadn’t hurt her deeply. He’d been aware of the risks and dangers she would have faced in the streets, yet he had done nothing to stop Father.

Christopher opened the door, and Pearce walked in with measured steps. Darko stared at him as if he’d invented bacon.

“Elizabeth.” Pearce didn’t show his usual cocksure bearing. “Thank you for agreeing to see me.”

“I’ll leave you alone.” Christopher left the room, smiling at her.

“You should thank Christopher. He convinced me to see you.” She sat on the armchair. “I wasn’t sure I wanted to see you. I’m quite confused.”

He sat in front of her, his gaze guarded. “You were right. I didn’t give you the opportunity to talk. I jumped to conclusions. I didn’t trust you. I have no excuses for my behaviour.”

Darko rested his chin on Pearce’s thigh, tail drawing circles, and Pearce scratched his head.

“I’m glad you acknowledge that.”

“I’ll do everything in my power to become a better man. I promise.”

She gave him a nod. “Again, I’m glad for you. I mean it.”

“That’s why I’m here to tell you my offer is still up.” He gently took her hand and held it.

She was too stunned to snatch her hand back. “Offer?”

“Marriage. I lost you because of my stupidity. I want you again in my life. I won’t make the same mistakes. I’ll spend the rest of our life together, making you happy.”

For a split moment, a vision of her life as a duchess flashed across her mind. Being a powerful lady had its charm. But above all, she would have the respect that had been denied to her by a lie. Still, she preferred to be the Queen of Whitechapel than the Duchess of Grafton.

“Pearce.” She didn’t look forward to hurting him. “There’s something you need to know.” She licked her dry lips. “I love Christopher, and he loves me.”

He blanched, straightening on the armchair. “You love him.”

“After my parents threw me out, I worked as a waitress in taverns and a restaurant until Christopher found me and took me here. He had no idea what had happened to me, and there wasn’t anything between us until that moment.”

Her words were a stretch of the truth. While she and Christopher hadn’t become lovers until she’d moved to the palace, she couldn’t honestly say she hadn’t felt anything for him before that.

Pearce narrowed his eyes. “So it was true. You were lovers.”

“For heaven’s sake!” She shot up to her feet, and he rose as well. It was amazing how he kept doubting her word. “Are you telling me I’m a liar again ? I’m being honest. Before the whole incident started, Christopher and I hadn’t seen each other in years. You rejecting me and my parents disowning me are the reasons I saw him again and fell in love with him. It’s because of you that I’m here. So no, Pearce. I can’t marry you. I could easily take advantage of your offer to lead an easy life, but I’m not doing that because I’m in love with Christopher. And if you accuse me of lying again, I swear I’m not going to talk to you again.”

Pearce worked his jaw. “I believe you.”

“Thank you.”

“So I did lose you.”

“I’m sorry, Pearce. I don’t want to return to my old life, and I don’t want to see my parents at the moment. If they threw me out once, they could do it again. If you really want to change and become a better person, then you should take care of your son.”

His pain was tangible; it thickened the air between them. Her chest tightened for him, but honesty was the only thing she could give him.

She put a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry to cause you pain. I feel no joy in it. But I have to follow my heart.”

“No, you’re right. I have to do better than that, and I deserve your resentment.” He held her hand again, but there was a tenderness in the gesture she appreciated. “I wish you all the joy you and Christopher deserve.”

“I wish you joy, too.” She hoped to put behind the cruel words, the pain, and the humiliation, for the sake of both of them.