Page 9

Shortly after five p.m., Colly stood in bra and panties at the foot of the bed, staring at the clothes piled beside her suitcase. Why hadn’t she brought anything nice? She’d packed anticipating long hours pounding the pavement or traipsing through dusty pastures, not dinner parties with her mother-in-law. No one was more adept at making her feel her penniless roots than Iris Newland.

“C’mon, Grandma, we’ll be late,” Satchel whined from the doorway.

Colly felt a rush of misplaced anger. “Is five minutes of privacy too much to ask? Go read a book, please—I’ll be down soon.”

As she closed the door behind him, her phone rang. “Hey, Bren, I’m running late. Wardrobe issues.”

Brenda laughed. “Oh, lord, there’s nothing more confidence-shattering than facing Iris in the wrong outfit.”

Colly sighed. Such a relief to talk to someone who understood. Wear whatever. No one will care , Randy would have said with maddening reasonableness. She suddenly liked her sister-in-law immensely.

“I didn’t bring any dresses, or even a pair of nice slacks.”

“We’re about the same size—you can wear something of mine. Come on over.”

“Bren, you’re an angel.”

Throwing on jeans and a t-shirt, Colly grabbed her purse and bundled Satchel into the car. Following Brenda’s directions, she pulled up a few minutes later in front of a modest frame house in a leafy neighborhood. Brenda’s minivan was parked beneath the carport. A yellow hatchback sat in the driveway behind it.

Satchel ran ahead to ring the bell. A stocky ten-year-old opened the door. “Mom, they’re here!” the boy bellowed, then grabbed Satchel’s wrist. “Come check out my room.”

Brenda emerged from somewhere. “Forgive Logan’s manners. He’s been so excited to see Satchel.”

“I like the new place.”

“Thanks. Lowell hates that I moved the kids to the ‘wetback end of town,’ as he calls it. Such a racist. He thought it was a power play to guilt more money out of him. He can’t imagine I’d actually want to live here. The neighbors are wonderful.”

Brenda led Colly into a small, tidy living room, where a teenage girl sat on the sofa, lazily thumbing through a magazine and watching a curly headed six-year-old girl color a picture.

“Hey, Aunt Colly.” The teenager unwound her long limbs and rose. “It’s awesome you’re helping Dad with the case.”

“Alice, my goodness, you’re so tall.” Russ had been right—with the same striking combination of ash-blond hair and russet skin, Alice Newland had developed into the image of her mother since Colly had seen her last. But she refrained from saying so. She knew how painful it was to be reminded of the dead.

“Minnie, say hello,” Brenda urged as the little girl leapt up and buried her face in her mother’s dress. “Sorry, we’re shy today.” Brenda petted the girl’s hair. “Alice has offered to take the kids to the ranch early—they want to ride horses before dark. Is that okay with you?”

“Well—”

“Don’t worry about Satchel,” Alice said. “We’ll stick to the trails in the shinnery. It’s shady there.”

“All right, but keep an eye out. He needs the hat and sun-sleeves, even in the shade. When he’s excited, he sometimes forgets.”

After Alice and the younger children had driven away in the yellow hatchback, Brenda shut the door and leaned against it. “Finally, some peace. I love my kids, but parenting’s just so daily.”

Colly laughed. “I’m constantly exhausted. Satchel’s higher-maintenance than Victoria ever was.”

“He’s lucky to have you. C’mon, let’s find you an outfit.”

A half-hour later, Colly stood in front of Brenda’s bedroom mirror, gazing at a reflection of herself in a pale blue scoop-neck dress.

“Perfect,” Brenda said. “Luckily, it goes all right with your flats. My feet are bigger than yours.”

“This still has the tags on it. Are you sure?”

Brenda grinned. “Absolutely. Iris hasn’t seen it, so she won’t say anything catty about you borrowing.”

Colly squinted critically at herself. Her face and forearms were ruddy from the afternoon spent outdoors, and the spray of freckles across her nose had darkened noticeably.

“I always feel like such a peasant around Iris. I’ve got a farmer’s tan, for God’s sake. And look at this.” She pulled a bit of dried grass from her unruly mane before retying it in a loose ponytail.

“You look fantastic.” Brenda began to readjust the closet hangers, carefully turning them to face the same direction. She saw Colly watching and blushed. “I’m a little bit of a neat freak. It used to drive Lowell crazy.”

“Goodness, how many running shoes do you have?” Colly nodded at the long, orderly racks of footwear on the closet floor.

“It’s hard getting rid of the old ones. After so many miles together, they’re like friends.” Brenda sighed. “They should really go in the donation box. If you need anything for Satchel, the thrift shop on South Fourth and Chestnut’s great. I’m one of their sponsors. Half the kids’ play clothes come from there, these days.”

“Was Lowell that stingy with the settlement?”

“I put it in a trust for the kids. I wanted to make it on my own. Things are tight, but supporting myself is unbelievably satisfying. I’ll make more money once I finish my supervision hours.” Brenda shut the closet door. “We should get going. Let’s take my van—it’s already covered in ranch dirt. Ready to face the music?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

The sun was lowering over the scrublands by the time Brenda turned north on the Old Ranch Way.

“I like it out here,” she said. “I run this way a lot.”

“This is my fourth time on this road today.” Colly settled back in her seat. “It was great to see your clinic. Niall seems nice.”

“Niall’s fantastic, plus crazy handsome. You can see why I was tempted.”

Colly looked quickly at her sister-in-law. “Oh, he’s the one—?”

Brenda reddened. “I thought you knew. It only lasted a few months. We’re just colleagues, now. And friends.”

“I didn’t mean to pry.”

“You didn’t. Feels weird to talk about it, though. You have to be so careful in this town.” She fell silent, but as Colly searched for a new topic, Brenda surprised her by saying suddenly, “I made a mess of things, Col. All the people I hurt—I never meant to. One night, as we were getting ready for bed, Lowell was griping about something or other. And the thought hit me: This is as good as life with him is ever going to get .” She glanced at Colly. “You’ve probably never felt that way. You and Randy always seemed so happy.”

“We were, for the most part. But there were baddish moments.”

“A career must’ve helped. At least you had something of your own—I used to envy that.”

“You always said you loved being a stay-at-home mom.”

“I love being a mom. The stay-at-home part was an excuse, I think.”

“For what?”

“Playing it safe. It took me a while to realize how small my life had gotten. I thought going back to school would help, but then Lowell started drinking more, and gambling. He got controlling about money, and he didn’t like that I suddenly had ideas of my own and dinner wasn’t always on the table at six o’clock.” She passed a hay truck, and a flurry of straw bits swirled against the windshield. “Lowell’s meant for the 1950s.”

“Lowell’s a jerk. No offense.”

“Here’s the question that haunts me—did he become a jerk over time, or was he always one, and I just didn’t see it?” Brenda held up her hand. “Don’t answer that. Either way’s depressing.”

Colly laughed. “I only meant I can understand why you’d be drawn to someone else after a while.”

Brenda’s knuckles whitened on the steering wheel. “I knew who Niall was in high school, but I didn’t really know him then. I was fresh out of grad school when I started working for him. He was everything Lowell wasn’t, and everything I wanted to be—educated and well-travelled and interesting. You know he was a Rhodes Scholar? Did his postgrad work at Oxford. He writes books on adolescent brain structure. Being around him was like looking through a window into this amazing world, and I wanted it so badly.” She smiled wistfully. “I was head over heels, for a while. I loved everything about him—even the little quirks, like talking in his sleep and messing up every dish in the kitchen when he cooks.”

Listening, Colly wondered what had triggered this sudden vulnerability. She had learned more about Brenda’s thoughts and feelings in the last five minutes than she’d known in twenty years.

Outside, Digby’s Automotive flashed by and, seconds later, the fireworks stand. Earla Cobb was gone, but the grass around the stand had been cut short, and a half-dozen marker flags now dotted the scene.

Colly stirred uneasily. “Must be awkward, working with Niall now.”

“We’ve adjusted. Lowell’s the one who couldn’t cope. You’d think after all his indiscretions ... ” Brenda shook her head. “When it came out, I broke things off with Niall and tried to work on my marriage for the kids’ sake.” She shrugged. “Lowell’s so prejudiced—if I’d cheated with a white guy, he might’ve gotten past it. I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry, Bren.”

“It’s okay, now. But it was hell, at first. Logan was angry and acting out. And there was town gossip, and all the legal stuff—not to mention Iris. I started having panic attacks, but anxiety meds helped. Things are better.”

“Did you and Niall ever talk about getting back together?”

Brenda’s cheeks colored. “It’s too complicated. We hang out sometimes. He loves to cook for me. But it’s strictly platonic.” She flashed Colly a sudden smile. “Life’s good. The kids are doing great, and honestly, having a crisis of my own made me a more compassionate therapist. I hate that it’s hurt the counseling center, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know how people are. They figure if I couldn’t save my own marriage, how can I help them? Plus, the ones who work for Lowell don’t want him thinking they’re disloyal.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Denny’s stepfather used to be a foreman at the turbine plant. Lowell fired him last year, and a rumor started that it was because Denny was a client of mine.”

“Think that’s true?”

“I didn’t start seeing Denny till after Jace Hoyer was fired. But truth never stopped a good piece of gossip. I don’t know why he was let go, but it wasn’t because of me.”

Colly made a mental note to visit the turbine plant soon.

They were passing a pair of quarter horses grazing in a field, their flanks twitching and tails swishing, when Brenda asked, “Will you speak with Denny’s folks?”

“Probably.”

“Watch out for Jace. He’s got a bad reputation and a big chip on his shoulder. He hates Lowell, and since you’re a Newland ... ”

“Guilt by association?”

“He might see it that way. Be careful.” Brenda squinted out the side window. “What was up with the question this afternoon about Denny’s feet?”

Colly, staring at a distant line of purple mesas and thinking about how much she was dreading dinner, became suddenly alert. Brenda’s voice was too casual. She was fishing. If she’d somehow found out about the shoe insert in Denny’s pack, who’d told her?

Colly needed time to think. “What do you mean?”

“Avery Parker asked if Denny had foot problems.”

“We wondered if he was capable of riding his bike to the stock pond. It’s over twenty miles.”

“But she asked the same question about his folks.”

Colly cursed silently. “I don’t know what she was thinking on that one. She’s kind of a loose cannon.” And thank God she’s not here now . “Why do you ask? Have you remembered something?”

“I’m a therapist. I’m nosy.” Brenda smiled. “About the question, though—if Denny had foot problems, they didn’t stop him riding his bike to the stock pond. I know he did it several times.”

“Any idea why?” Colly asked.

“That’s no mystery. Supposedly, the pond’s haunted by Adam Parker’s ghost. Teenagers go for thrills, no matter how many ‘No Trespassing’ signs Felix puts up.”

“Hmm.” Colly hesitated. “That reminds me—Avery and I went down the alley behind the clinic today and noticed the back entrance is a fire door.”

Brenda laughed. “No, it’s not. Niall put up that sign to keep clients from bypassing the lobby.”

“Wonder why it didn’t stop the old lady you told us about? You said she came in the back way.”

“I didn’t actually see which door she used. I just assumed, since she came down the hall from that direction. She was wearing thick glasses. Maybe she missed the sign.”

That’s one mystery solved , Colly thought with a sigh, leaning back in her seat.

The light was deepening to a golden haze as they rumbled over the cattle guard beneath the Newland Ranch archway. Passing the track that led to the stock pond, they continued northeast on a paved lane that rambled through the scrubland for several miles.

Images from her last visit churned through Colly’s mind—of standing in the grass beside two red mounds of earth, hunched against the winter wind and trying to ignore the sidelong glances and rigid backs, the murmuring voices that hushed when she looked their way. She felt her palms begin to sweat and her mouth go dry.

“How do you deal with this all the time, Brenda?”

“With what?”

“The family, the judgment, the guilt. What the hell am I doing here? I feel sick.”

“I tell myself it’s for the kids. And if I don’t say anything regrettable while I’m here, I reward myself with a very large martini when I get home.” Brenda paused, apparently waiting for a laugh. Getting no reaction, she laid a hand on Colly’s arm. “Iris may blame you for what happened to Randy and Victoria. But remember—you’re here because she needs your help. Iris is very transactional. She may slip in a barb here and there, but for the most part she’ll behave till the case review’s finished.”

“And then?”

“Then all bets are off. It’ll depend on what you conclude about Willis.”