CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

“Forever is composed of nows.”

~ Emily Dickinson

Em

For the rest of the day, Saros let me ignore the shit storm that was my life. Martha brought us lunch in the conservatory, and then I took a shower while he did murder business things. I was surprised at the knock on my door shortly after I’d finished dressing.

“Want to watch a movie?” Saros had a big bowl of popcorn in his hand and honestly, I wanted to do anything I could to just forget.

As we sat in his home theater, watching some action flick I couldn’t remember the name of because all I kept doing was watching him, I realized how oddly normal this was. Saros Tancredi wasn’t the powerful and dangerous mobster right now. In this moment, he was a regular guy and this felt like an everyday normal date. Was it a date?

When he walked me to my bedroom at the end of the night, he tenderly pressed me against the door and kissed me into a dreamy state. Once I opened my eyes, all I saw was blue, a lustful storm I wanted to be caught in so badly.

“Good night, Em.”

Sleeping was hard…so, so hard.

I had jacked off a handful of times in my life. But never had I been this turned-on, this desperate for release. I slipped my hand inside my pajama pants and gripped my cock.

“Shit,” I hissed. It was hot and like stone.

I closed my eyes and thought of Saros…that smile, those eyes, how his arms felt as he surrounded me in them, how his smell had the power to wake something within me…and his kiss. It breathed life into me, lit a fire I never wanted extinguished.

A minute later I was arching off the mattress, coming all over my hand and any fabric that had been too close.

After I cleaned up, exhaustion hit and my dreams weren’t filled with angry shouts and painful touches. For the first time in my life, they were peaceful.

I woke with a start but couldn’t place why. I sat up and listened again. Sure enough, a few seconds later, angry voices filled the corridor.

“Of course he’d respond to finding his fucktoy in pieces on his doorstep.” That was Saros.

“The Vine is engulfed, Boss. Benny was able to get a few people out, but it’s catastrophic.” I recognized Cosmo, but my ears rang listening to the carnage only Ramsey would rain upon Saros for embarrassing and enraging him.

“That motherfucker!” Saros yelled, followed by what I could only guess was him punching the wall. “Where is he?”

“Don’t know. A few guys drove by his house, and it was dark. Probably hiding.”

Ramsey hide? I scoffed and slid out of bed. I wrapped the puffy robe around myself and walked out of the bedroom.

Saros was in his boxers and his robe was open, showing off his delicious body . Not the time, Em. Cosmo was in sweats; he’d likely driven here to talk to Saros.

“Sorry we woke you,” Saros said, and I rolled my eyes.

“Please don’t apologize to me every time you think something bothers me. I wasn’t going to come out, but I heard you both. Ramsey isn’t hiding; it’s not his style. He has no fear even when he should. The only reason Ramsey hasn’t come at you before was sheer numbers, Saros. He obviously has some now, and he’s crazy enough to think he can defeat you.”

“Numbers?” Saros looked at Cosmo. “You said you talked to everyone; they were all staying neutral.”

“That’s what we heard.”

“Not everyone.” Benny appeared in the hallway, his suit a little tattered and dirty.

“Are you okay?” I asked him.

He nodded but focused on Saros. “Frazee. No one has been able to get a hold of him. Last anyone did, it was to confirm he’d never sold anyone to Ramsey, and then he disappeared.”

“Do you think Ramsey killed him?” Cosmo inquired.

“For what reason?” Saros shook his head. “Frazee has been desperate for my territory for years.”

“I’ve heard that name once.” I stepped closer.

“I’m not surprised. Barrett Frazee is pretty well-known in the seedier places—Ramsey likely mentioned him,” Cosmo answered.

“No, not Barrett Frazee. I’ve heard of a Lynus Frazee.” I shrugged. “Never mind. That’s not the same guy. Sorry, go on.”

“Hold up.” Saros faced me. “Lynus Frazee is Barrett’s father. He died five years ago from cancer. How do you know him?”

“Me? I don’t. Ramsey liked to talk and often—either didn’t realize I was there, or I sort of sneaked around when I could.”

“No offense, Boss—we don’t have time to talk about the dead. We have to find Ramsey and deal with this. He has help.”

“Probably Frazee.” Cosmo ran his fingers through his hair. “You want us to ask people to put their ears to the ground? They can stay neutral, but they’d do you the favor.”

“Not if they thought Ramsey had a chance of overpowering me and they could sell off everything that’s mine.”

“Wait.” I spoke up. “Ramsey has properties in various locations. He’s likely in one of them. I know where they all are.”

Saros released a harsh breath and faced Cosmo. “First things first. Get Dafni, the kids, Aunt Pen, and Uncle Andrew here.”

“They already are.”

He then looked at Benny. “Gina, her kids, all the guys’ partners and families, I want them here too. We seal my estate like Fort fucking Knox. I want to know my family is all safe. Ramsey wants a war, he’ll get one.”

He turned to me. “Get dressed, and meet me in my study.”

I nodded and made to turn, but Saros grabbed my arm and pulled me into a not-so-quick kiss.

“What was that for?” I smiled.

“Just because I could.” He winked and went into his room, likely to get dressed.

I stood there frozen. Cosmo and Benny were staring at me, slight amusement on their faces.

“I’ll just…” I hooked a thumb over my shoulder. “Clothes. I mean, get dressed.”

“Probably a good idea.” Cosmo chuckled, and I rushed into the bedroom.

As I washed up and changed I went through, in my head, all the places Ramsey had property. Unless he’d acquired another property since I’d been gone, Saros should be able to find him and end this swiftly. Was he actually hiding? He always seemed so stupidly brave. Untouchable. But he wasn’t. Saros was going to tear down wherever he was staying and pull him out.

I’d just buttoned my pants when I froze. Saros was going to kill him. My father. Why didn’t that sadden me?

I sat on the edge of my bed, taking a moment. Would I mourn him or be upset with Saros for killing him? I took a breath, letting that settle over my bones. No. I’d mourn for a forgotten child, an upbringing I deserved. I’d cry for the memories of pain and scorned words. I’d weep for a past full of nightmares. No, I wouldn’t grieve Ramsey’s or Shyla’s deaths; I’d embrace a future—hopefully one with Saros, and I’d do everything in my power to make sure he was the last one standing after the dust settled.

I stood and went to leave. The full mirror on the back of the door showed my reflection. My hand was still wrapped, an ace bandage you couldn’t see was around my ankle, but I looked better than I ever had. I had color in my cheeks, cheeks that were no longer sunken. The dark circles under my eyes were gone, and there was a spark of life in my once-dull brown orbs. My hair was shiny, if a bit long. My clothes fit because they were sized for me, not secondhand. And even though this house was about to be flooded with people, and Ramsey was trying to destroy everything Saros built, I felt alive…I felt good.

“I’m not letting Ramsey take another thing from me.”

With that, I opened the door and went down to the study to help Saros destroy my nightmare.