Page 90 of The Jock

“Why not?”

“Coach said the NCAA was going to investigate me.”

“Bullshit. What are they going to do? Fine you for having a secret? They don’t even kick people out who drink and drive or beat their girls. They’re not kicking you out over an article. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Wes didn’t look convinced. “Coach said they’re investigating if I misrepresented myself to enhance the program. You know the NCAA only cares about money.”

“Dude, I’ll walk if they do anything to you.”

“Colton.”

“I will. Fuck that. I’m not letting that happen.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “You’re not alone, dude. You’re not. Okay?”

“Even if the NCAA clears me, I don’t know if I’m still on the team. I haven’t heard from Coach.”

“Yeah, me either.” Colton scrubbed his hands over his face. “I kinda got the feeling he was letting me figure this out on my own. He wasn’t so… up in my face about it. Like he usually is, you know? He’s probably giving you the same space.”

Wes shrugged.

“Look, we’ve got a bye week, and then we’ve got the final game of the season. You’ll heal up by then. I’ve seen you shake off tackles that are worse than this.” Colton’s eyes kept skittering off Wes’s throat, tracing the strangulation marks and then sliding away. “We need to win that last game. If we do, we go to the championship. We can’t win without everyone, so, yeah, you’re playing.” Colton hesitated. “I mean… you wanna play, right?”

Justin’s gaze fell to the floor. He squeezed Wes’s hand but said nothing. Hadn’t that been the question Wes had been wrestling with all year? Football or being true to himself?I think about quitting, he’d said.I just want to take your hand in the middle of campus.

Now they were holding hands in front of Colton.

Now the world knew.

What did Wes want, now that there were no secrets left? Justin ran his thumb over Wes’s knuckles and waited.Whatever you decide, I’ll be beside you,mon amour.

“I think I do.” Wes’s voice was quiet. Almost a whisper. It was still breaking in places, his vocal cords bruised and mangled. “If it came down to a choice between football and Justin, it’s no contest. I know what I’ll choose every time.”

Colton’s jaw clenched. “You don’t have to make that choice, though. You never did.”

“I felt like I had to.”

“Fuck that. You don’t.”

Wes was quiet. “I never imagined the possibility of both. Football and loving you?” He turned to Justin.

“I thought about it.” Justin ran his hand down Wes’s bandaged cheek. “I thought about what it would be like if people knew you were blowing a kiss to me, not to your adoring fans.”

Colton coughed, his cheeks darkening.

“Oh, you just realized that?” Justin grinned. “I was at every game. All those kisses to the stands were for me.”

He and Wes smiled as Colton’s flush grew. Wes tipped his head sideways, resting against Justin.

“I didn’t think this was how it would be,” Justin whispered. He traced the bruises on Wes’s face with the tips of his fingers. “I never imagined anything like this would happen.”

“I was afraid of it, but I was afraid they’d come after you.”

“If they did, I’d be dead. I couldn’t survive what you did.”

“Don’t say that.” Wes pulled him closer. Hid his face and his shiver in the crook of Justin’s neck. “Don’t ever say that.”

Justin held him through it, stroking his back as Wes trembled. Colton waited, watching. He reached out and laid his hand on Wes’s thigh.

Wes pulled back and rubbed his snotty nose on his arm. “I’m not sure everyone wants me to come back.”