Page 13 of The Inn Dilemma (Give a Bookish Girl a Biker)

Chapter Eight

Holt

I know each curve and bend of these roads like the back of my hand.

Whether I’m on two wheels or four, I could drive them with my eyes closed—not that I would.

Especially not with the precious cargo sitting in the front seat of my truck.

She’s been asleep for the last fifteen minutes. Apparently, she needs the rest.

I was up late last night mulling over my conversation with Chris and Roxy. The look of betrayal in Chris’s eyes when I went back inside after Nova left hit me like a sucker punch to the gut.

He stood from my couch and threw his hands up in irritation. Neither Tootsie nor Titan liked how he approached me, and both trotted over to sit in front of me as if defending me from Chris’s frustration.

“How could you keep this a secret from me?” His voice wasn’t loud, but his words were clear.

I sat the wood I had carried in down next to the fireplace and dusted off my hands before facing him again.

Blowing out a puff of air, I answered, “It wasn’t my secret to share, and she asked for time to process everything. Getting rejected by your dad shattered her. No matter how it looks on the outside, I can see it’s eating away at her.”

Chris ran his hands through his hair. Roxy stood and rubbed up and down his back. “I don’t agree with what she did, but I can sympathize with her. It’s not easy to admit you’ve messed up, especially when family is involved.” Her words surprised me.

He swallowed hard when he looked at his wife. A million unspoken words passed between them. I saw the moment his anger dissipated.

Chris turned to face me. “I don’t like that you kept this from me. But you’re one of the few people in our lives who has always had our best interests at mind.”

“And that’s exactly what this was. I wanted her to tell you, but she was afraid you’d reject her just like your dad did.”

His eyes went wide. “I would never–”

I put my hands up to stop him and said, “I told her that. But she was raw from everything she just faced. And she needed more time.” I run my hands over my hair. “So yeah, I didn’t like keeping it from you, but it’s what I thought was best at the time.”

Chris tucked his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. Roxy remained silent during Chris’s confusion and distress, but she held his hand the moment he reached for her.

I cleared my throat. The pups looked up at me, and when I motioned with my head toward their dog beds, they obeyed my silent command.

“I don’t want this–or anything—to come between us, but this was all up to Nova. And she didn’t feel ready. ”

Chris shook his head. “I don’t want her to feel like she can’t trust me to be there for her. But I guess that’s what happens to families like ours. Where status overrides pretty much everything else. In a roundabout way, I get why she left, I just wish she didn’t cut me out in the process.”

“And she hates that she did that too. Believe me, the weight that she’s carrying is unreal.”

Roxy gave me a sad smile, then looked at Chris. “It seems like she’s doing her best to work through it all. I think patience is the best way to help her. She’ll come around when she’s ready.” Conviction rang in her tone.

“She will,” I agreed.

Chris nodded his agreement.

A soft snore comes out of Nova’s mouth, bringing me back to the moment. I glance over at her sleeping contentedly.

Nova is the same yet different. There’s a worldliness in her eyes that she didn’t have before she left. But she still wears her various masks that fit each occasion like a shield, keeping people out while bottling all her emotions inside.

Maybe Chris got used to her doing it, but even after years apart, I know Nova.

I can still see through who she pretends to be and for who she is.

This strain with her dad is harder for her to manage than she lets on.

Nova wants everyone to think she’s okay that her own father has all but disowned her, but I can see how terribly it affects her.

It’s written in the smallest downturn of her lips as they’re raised in her practiced smile.

The way her eyes don’t crinkle at the corners like they do when her face reveals genuine happiness .

The leather seats crinkle, giving away her stirring. I glance over as her eyes blink open and she glances around.

“Where are we?” she asks.

“I’m taking you to one of my special spots,” I answer before facing the road again.

“How long was I asleep?”

“Twenty or so minutes. How’s Sleeping Beauty feeling now?”

Her lips turn down into a frown, then a pout that would be cute if I didn’t know the reason behind it. She crosses her arms over her chest and rests her head against the seat.

“Like useless garbage.”

My foot taps the brake, jolting us forward as I narrowly miss a squirrel scurrying across the road.

“Oh!” Nova shouts, craning her neck to look back at the rodent safely standing on the edge of the road.

“Stupid squirrel,” I mumble.

“I’m pretty sure I saw it shaking its fist at you. I guess you missed the ‘squirrel crossing’ sign back there.”

I crack a smile, feeling the tension from her slowly ebb away.

“We’re here,” I say as I pull into the small lot.

She eyes me warily. “Where is here, exactly?”

I stare straight ahead, gathering my thoughts. Turning to her, I finally answer. “One of the places I go to when I need time to myself. Where I can spend time with God in His creation to heal.”

Nova gives me a soft smile that touches her eyes.

I get out of my truck and go to her side to open her door.

Even though I know she’s perfectly capable of getting out without my help, I reach up and grab her by the waist to guide her down.

When her feet touch the ground, she looks up at me and my breathing stops at how her emotions are fully laid bare.

How she’s fully exposing her heart to me.

There are no masks she’s hiding behind, and full vulnerability shines in her eyes.

“Thank you,” she says before licking her lips. My eyes can’t help but track the motion. I ignore the pulling sensation in my chest and swallow the consuming desire that small action elicits. I remind myself she is freshly out of a bad breakup and on a dating sabbatical.

“You haven’t even seen what I’ve brought you here to see.”

She shakes her head. “Thank you for seeing me.” It’s a soft whisper.

I tuck a honey blonde strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m here for you.”

A soft smile lifts her lips. “You always have been. I’m sorry I ever took you for granted.”

“I never saw it as you taking me for granted. You were there for me in ways no one else was. So you have no reason to apologize. You don’t need my forgiveness, and you already have Jesus’s forgiveness.”

She bites her lower lip and looks at the dirt. It’s clear she doesn’t know what to say, so I take her hand. “You are forgiven, Nova. Whether your dad ever comes around or not, our Father in Heaven is the only one who matters. And He’s forgiven you.”

Her watery eyes blink up at me. “I needed to hear that. Thank you.”

Crushing her to my chest, I whisper, “I promise to always remind you of that. And that you are loved. So deeply.”

We stand like that for long seconds before she pulls back and visibly relaxes .

“Okay, what is it you want to show me?”

At that, I pull her toward our final destination.

This particular slice of paradise is hidden, but thankfully not deep into the national forest. Nova is at least wearing sneakers, making the short hike doable.

Nova’s hand feels so small in mine. So soft.

Both of her hands are capable of extraordinary beauty.

I hate that her creativity has ever been stifled.

I hate that the gift God has given her has been shoved into a closet by the people who were supposed to encourage her.

I hate that she’s been told she’s only worthy as a showpiece and not the amazing human being she is.

Nova is silent until we reach the hidden gem tucked away in the forest. A waterfall pours down a cliff, feeding a teal blue pond.

“Wow,” she whispers, then releases my hand to walk closer to the body of water. Her head slowly tips back and she inhales deeply.

I come up behind her, close enough to feel her warmth but not close enough to touch. “This is my favorite place in the whole world other than home,” I whisper.

She turns to look up at me with a genuine smile. Her dimples indent both of her cheeks, and I can’t help the swell of pride that I feel from knowing I’m the one who helped put that smile there.

“I can see why.” She turns her attention back to the view. “If it was above fifty degrees right now, I’d be diving off of that ledge over there.” She points to a spot halfway up the waterfall.

“You were always fearless.”

Her smile falters for less than a second before she has it back in place.

“Why are you doing that?” I ask.

Nova looks confused. “Why am I doing what?”

“Hiding yourself. Hiding your true feelings.” I gently grip her chin between my thumb and forefinger. “You don’t need to hide anything from me. It’s human to feel things.”

She sets her jaw and her eyes flit down, refusing to meet mine. I drop my hand, not wanting to push her any further or give her the wrong idea about what I’ve said.

“Apparently, Daddy Dearest didn’t want a human girl. He wanted a robot who did whatever he said, when he said it, and without question.” Her eyes flick up to mine. “Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to pretend to be someone you aren’t? Someone you’ve never been or will ever be?”

“Not personally, no. But I’ve seen it between you and your brother. I’ve seen how your dad doesn’t see you for the amazing person you are. And I hope you know that I do. I see you, Nova. You.”

After stopping back at Chris’s to collect Aunt Birdie’s borrowed car, I follow Nova back to the Storybook Inn. She parks it in the carport, and we walk into the house together so she can give the keys back.