Page 38 of The Howling (Monsters of the Yeavering #2)

I ’ve been doing my best to avoid Reavely’s ghostly pack members since my talk with Ellie in the kitchen garden.

I can’t fathom my feelings about him, or about any of this. I thought I was going to die here in the Yeavering, and the fact I might have a life is strangely terrifying. A lump of ice in my stomach which never seems to leave me.

Or is it the fear that it could all be taken away with the snap of a Faerie Lord’s fingers which frightens me more?

Am I going to run forever? Run from my fate, my fear, my desire not to give up my heart to the big bad wolf who’s been dogging my footsteps all my life?

The black dog. The one everyone runs from. Only I didn’t run, he did. Reavely took me and saved me. But whether that was because he wanted me or because there was a curse he needed to lift, I’m not sure.

And my heart aches because of it. I need to be sure. I need to know how he feels and why he continues to keep the truth from me.

Somewhere along the way to this point, I’ve caught something for Reavely, for the great, dangerous beast who loves nothing more than turning into his were-form and devouring half a side of beef. Only giving me a guilty look when he’s done, but at the same time licking his claws clean.

Or how he still dislikes it I call the lavatory a bathroom, his hide shuddering at the mere mention of the word.

Or the way his face lights up when he finds me talking to yet another spirit Barghest.

I am as entwined in his life as he is with me. My heart is…his?

My stomach churns as I duck down yet another passage to avoid the ghosts, which, contrary to popular opinion, are not silent spectres haunting the castle but are, in fact, overly chatty and quite noisy.

This place must have been so full of life when they were all here.

This corridor is some way off the main areas and the amount of dust on the floor suggests even the Duegar haven’t yet been here. I breathe a careful sigh of relief, not wanting to disturb any of it and choke.

I find a small alcove next to a window and sink onto the honey coloured stone, holding in the sigh battling to get out.

Ellie wants to protect her brother. I understand that.

I also know from the occasional thing Reavely’s mother says that our marriage is not guaranteed to break the curse which binds them all here.

Her desire for the wedding to be a big occasion, or so I thought, was because her only son was getting married.

But now it’s also going to be the crowning of a king. A way of the long lost Barghest to show the Yeavering they exist, they have returned.

I can’t imagine the Faerie will be amused by any of this. Perhaps Reavely really wasn’t at Lord Guyzance’s mercy in the dungeons.

And if the Barghest pose a challenge to the dangerous creatures, then it means we will never know peace. Reavely’s entire pack was destroyed once. Who is to say it can’t happen again?

I drop my head into my hands. I’m being dragged along in all of this without answers and with my life on the line. As much as I wanted to go back beyond the veil, if nothing else to show my stepfather what a twat he is, I know there is nowhere safe.

Nowhere I can hide.

“Little deer?” A claw traces through my hair.

I look up to see Reavely standing over me. He runs his hand down under my chin. One huge thumb strokes over my cheek, over the tears I didn’t want to cry.

“My family is…”

“Your family are looking out for you, even from beyond the grave.”

“I should have told you…”

“Yes.”

I stare up at him, the tears still flowing, as he gazes down at me, his brows drawn and his mouth downturned in agony.

“What can I do?”

“Tell the truth.”

Reavely sinks to his knees in front of me, raising a small cloud of dust from the floor.

“The truth is, the Yeavering gave you to me. I knew it the moment I saw you being chased by the Redcaps. I knew I could not go on without you, and yet finding you changed everything.” He holds my face in his big hand, meaning I cannot look away.

“It meant the curse was real. It meant the end of my life with the Reaper was possible. But you are…you.” He pulls in a long draught of air. “I saw what the curse really was.”

“What?”

“It isn’t about me. It’s about you.” He shakes his head slowly.

“Because it can only be broken by two. It means the second is subject to everything the first has suffered. And I can’t do that to you, Wynter.

You mean everything to me.” His words rasp out as he lifts his chin to look at the ceiling. “I can’t ask you to break my curse.”

It’s my turn to pull him back to look at me. My heart is beating out of my chest. It’s going so hard I’m not sure if I’m going to ever be able to control it again. Because Reavely’s admission is not what I was expecting and yet it’s everything I’ve come to expect of my big beast of a Barghest.

He promised to protect me. Even from himself.

“You don’t have to ask me,” I say, my voice soft, yet it echoes in this small space. “Because I want to be with you. Not because of the curse or your family, but because of you.”

His lips are so close to mine, his face hardly visible through my tears, through how I feel about him, how much I need him when I’ve never needed anyone before.

So, when he takes me in a dominant, possessive kiss I never want to end, I wasn’t expecting him to understand.

But he does, and he’s never going to let me go.