Page 16 of The Honorable Governess (False Rumors #4)

I an carried Sara abovestairs to their chamber. Wrapped in his coat, Sara could feel the blush washing over her about how she would explain the tattered ruins of her dress. While Ian could behave any way he pleased, there would be talk of her scandalous behavior amongst the servants. And gossip never remained inside a household. It would soon spread to other households, and would play in her favor, considering she’d caused room for the gossipmongers to have free rein with her character.

Ian set her near the bed and helped her out of her dress. He kissed her shoulder. “I owe you a new dress.”

Sara turned in his arms. “Nay. I have too many as it is.”

He eased her chemise off. “You can never have too many.”

Sara tugged on his cravat and slid the buttons undone on his vest and shirt. “After this evening, you are to banish me to your estate, not spoil me with new dresses.”

Ian slid his arms around Sara and trailed his hand up the smooth expanse of her back. “I would love to banish you to my estate and have my wicked way with you.”

Sara frowned playfully at him. “That is not what I meant. My banishment is my punishment for my behavior this evening.”

Ian nipped her lips. “Why should I punish you when I could not be prouder of you?”

She feathered her fingers through his hair. “You are not furious with my acting out?”

He stepped back and finished disrobing before sliding them into bed. “Not so much furious, but I worry for your safety at your bold attempt to draw out the villain.”

She rolled over to lie across his chest. “Do you not mean Lord Roselli, my father?”

“We are not positive your father and the villain are the same.”

While they held no proof of the connection, the clues proved they might be correct. However, Lord and Lady Roselli had made themselves scarce from the social scene the past few weeks. Along with the villain’s silence, it proved too much of a coincidence for them to be anything different.

Sara cocked her eyebrow. “Are we not?”

Ian rolled them over. “Do you remember the pact we made to no longer keep secrets?”

Sara grimaced at how she’d betrayed Ian with her actions. “I apologize for my deceit. However, I had to keep you in the dark to make it authentic for everyone to believe.”

“I understand your aim, and I am astounded by your bravery. But for your safety, will you promise no more surprises until this has ended?”

Sara twined her arms around Ian’s neck. “I promise no more surprises.”

And she meant it. This evening was their last attempt to strike the villain’s wrath. If she didn’t succeed, then she feared nothing would ever end their torment unless they escaped far from society. Something she had no intention of doing. She refused to live in fear for the rest of her life. However, if needed, she would sacrifice her happiness for Ian and Mairi.

Sara prayed she never had to.

SARA WATCHED MAIRI skip around the garden path. While they wanted to visit the park with their friends, they stayed close to home for Ian to watch over them. The threat of the unknown had escalated since the spectacle she’d made at the Newburn Musical a few days ago. Gossip had spread about her scandalous behavior, and in so, the ton had labeled her a pariah nobody wanted to socialize with.

To keep up appearances, her friends’ company remained elusive. While it was all an act, their absence affected Sara to a profound degree. She longed to share her fears with them. However, they must stay away for the villain to believe he’d succeeded in his vengeance by ostracizing her. He thought he was the victor with his revenge. Except Sara had never felt more content than with a quiet lifestyle surrounded by her loved ones.

She had never loved another soul more than she loved Ian. Ever since they confessed their love, he’d sought her throughout the day to spend time with her and Mairi. Not to mention the moments he stole kisses when he thought no one watched. Or when he coerced her to partake in intimate acts of lovemaking throughout the townhome. Everyone thought her husband was a prim and proper duke, but he was the most scandalous of gentlemen, one she found much bliss with.

Mairi skipped to Sara. “Momma, when can we visit our friends at the park?”

Sara wrapped Mairi’s scarf around her neck. “Soon, love.”

“Can we invite them to our home?”

Sara sighed about how to explain the delicate subject to a child without causing confusion and fear. Until now, Mairi had never questioned why they kept to the townhome, instead of exploring London as they had when they first arrived. They had pacified her by showering Mairi with their attention. However, she was a child who longed for children her own age to interact with. It was cruel of them to keep her isolated but necessary to keep her protected. Sara wished this madness would end soon.

She cringed at the lie she must tell Mairi. “Your friends have been busy with their own families. But I promise soon, we shall invite them over.”

“All right. Can we go inside for some hot chocolate?”

Sara tapped Mairi on the nose. “We sure can.”

The beauty of innocent children was their acceptance to believe adults only ever told the truth. Guilt settled in Sara’s gut at how she had to lie to her daughter, even though it was for her protection. If Sara hadn’t accepted Ian’s proposal, then Mairi would be free to explore the possibilities before her without restrictions.

They held hands as they walked inside. Sara helped Mairi off with her coat and handed the coats to a maid. Another maid took Mairi to the kitchen for her hot chocolate and a treat. Sara promised to join her for a story after she talked to Ian. She needed to convince him to take Mairi out for an afternoon excursion to lighten her visit to London. If not, then Sara worried Mairi would become withdrawn again. The predicament they found themselves in wasn’t Mairi’s fault, and she shouldn’t have to suffer another minute longer.

“Do you know where I might find the duke?” Sara asked a footman.

“He is in the parlor with Lord and Lady Whetham.”

Sara nodded. “Thank you.”

Sara almost strolled into the parlor to discuss her concerns with Ian and the Whethams but paused outside the doorway when her name was mentioned. Eavesdropping was disgraceful, but Ian’s fervent response as he refused to agree with the Whethams kept her back.

“I refuse to place Sara in a setting that will cause her harm. Not to mention the cruelty toward her if she attended,” Ian growled.

“Your refusal is nonsense. You have been waiting for this invitation. You cannot isolate the poor girl in an act of protection,” Lord Whetham argued.

“We will remain by her side the entire visit,” Lady Whetham pleaded.

Sara peeked around the door to see Ian pacing across the rug, dragging his hand through his hair. She wished to relieve his agitation but couldn’t until she learned what they discussed. To do so, she must interrupt them. However, she held back to hear more. She feared if she walked inside, Ian would cover their discussion with another topic to hide his worries.

“If you do not accept the invitation, then you risk losing the girl,” Lord Whetham warned.

Ian paused. “Is that a threat?”

Lady Whetham rose and urged Ian to sit. She shot a warning look at her husband to cease his ramblings. “No, ‘tis no threat. Just a warning for you to understand how this ordeal has impacted Sara. Her behavior has caused her to act out by such drastic measures.”

Sara bit back a gasp. Nothing good ever came out of listening to others’ conversations, no matter how one twisted their reasons. While the Whethams had shown Sara support for her outburst at the musical, it was only a farce to protect her feelings. She’d never wanted to embarrass this family, but her every action brought forth shame to their good name. Perhaps it was for the best if she made herself scarce. After a while, Ian could resume the life he was born into, one not ruined by marrying his governess. He would weather the scandal with his distinguished persona and hopefully find the happiness he deserved.

The villain’s primary agenda this past year had been to scare Sara away from the aristocracy. With her gone, Ian and her friends could live their lives without discord. She had been the target all along, and she must admit defeat before she hurt those she loved even more. Her heartache paled in comparison to the torment she placed upon them if she remained.

With newfound determination, Sara stepped back and hurried to their suite. She must disappear with haste. Soon Mairi would finish her treat and seek her out to read a story before her nap. Not to mention, Ian would find her to assure himself that she remained safe.

Sara rushed to pull the beautiful day dress from her body and redressed in a dull day dress she’d worn as Ian’s governess. She had kept her belongings in a valise tucked away in her wardrobe because of her insecure thoughts that Ian had suffered from madness when he asked her to be his bride. He had proven his sanity by wrapping her in a cocoon of ever-binding love and doting on her every day. She would treasure those memories for a lifetime spent alone so they could live a peaceful life without the drama of her remaining in their lives.

She sat on the bed to tug on her walking boots when she noticed the letter on her pillowcase. Her heart lurched at the sight, and tears slid along her cheeks. Ian had taken to writing her tokens of his affections every day, leaving the notes in random places for her to find. Some were as simple as him telling her he loved her, while he filled the other letters with poems that compared his love affair with her. It was the last letter she would ever receive from him.

She trailed her fingers along the parchment, deciding if her bravery extended to reading his latest confession of love or if she should leave it behind to save herself the agony. However, there was no question about what she desired. His declaration would comfort her during the lonely days ahead. She tore open the letter in her anxious rush to read his loving words before she left his life forever.

Desperate for the reassurance of Ian’s adoration, Sara turned numb at the threat leaping off the parchment. There were no words to describe the fear clutching her in place. She should rush to Ian with the letter so he could investigate how it had arrived, but the cruelty kept her firmly in place and only resounded her decision to leave. Nothing good would result if she remained to fight against a phantom from her past, a person she had never met but one who terrorized her because he regretted she ever existed.

My Darling Sara,

I hope you do not mind the intimacy of my greeting. For how else should I greet my daughter, my only living offspring? One I fought not to exist. However, your bitch of a mother has always been a devious soul. I should have never entangled myself with her. However, I found her attraction too difficult to resist. Even after her cunning agenda, I fell into her manipulative trap and married her. While I should feel pride about how our daughter has achieved the same lofty goal as her mother to marry above her station, I cannot. Because it would draw attention to the time of your conception, a brief moment of the past that is best to stay forgotten, for reasons it would be foolish of me to explain to you.

When your mother learned of her mother’s death last year, we worried you would come searching for us. When you never did, we felt immense relief. That was, until you and your friends caused quite a scandal over your love affair with Lord Baldridge. Quite the tart like your mother, you are. Our only recourse was to prevent the ton from realizing your connection to us. So we set out to scare your friends, only for our plans to fail. Their lofty expectations only secured them protection in their marriages. So we thought to isolate you from them, but your precious duke kept ruining our plans.

You sank your claws into him so much that he made you his duchess, a position we couldn’t afford you to be in. But it only shows how enamored a gentleman becomes when his whore posing as his governess spreads her thighs so readily for him. You are your mother’s daughter, my dear. A slut whose only agenda is to secure herself the riches she believes she deserves. Has Somerville realized yet how devious his duchess is?

Oh, you thought you had everybody fooled by your demure governess act? Everyone thought you were na?ve about life’s realities. However, now they are the fools who showed you their support. Where are your friends now after you showed your true intentions at the Newburn Musical? Word is, they have deserted you, and your husband hides you away in shame. He may spout nonsense about how he keeps you away from society for your protection, but what you do not know is how he consults with his attorney daily. He attempts to dissolve his marriage to a lying cunt who infiltrated his life with her lies and deceit.

Sara gasped and clutched the letter to her chest. These had to be lies. Weren’t they? She swiped at her eyes to continue, even though her heart was breaking into a million pieces.

I hope from the past few days of silence you have learned your lesson about where you belong. Far away from here. If you leave today, your mother and I will cease our terror. Your friends can live the rest of their lives in peace if you stop all contact with them. And Somerville and his darling daughter can resume their prestigious place in the hierarchy of society they were born into before they sullied their reputations by welcoming you into their lives. A lowly soul who nobody ever wanted to begin with.

If you do not leave, I cannot promise how far I will take my vengeance. Perhaps Mairi would benefit from a visit. After all, with your marriage to Somerville, I am now her grandfather. She would need my influence, considering how you will tarnish her with your misguided intentions. We would not want you to teach her how to gain a gentleman’s attention. No need for her to follow in your footsteps. She must remain as pure as a white blanket of snow. Do you not agree, daughter? Something to ponder while making your decision.

Hopefully, for your sake, this will be the end of our correspondence.

Your loving father.

The letter dropped to the floor as Sara rushed to Ian’s desk. She paused with indecision. She refused to write him a letter filled with deceit. But if she wrote about how she left for his best interest, he would search far and wide for her. She must disappear without a trace. She couldn’t afford to leave behind any clues about where she might go.

Sara gathered her belongings, leaving behind everything Ian had ever given her, except for her wedding ring. She could never part with the gift that symbolized his love and devotion. However, she would leave behind her heart. It was the only reminder she would leave for them, because she had lost it the first day she met Ian and Mairi. She only hoped they never discarded it.

Because she would never forget their love.