Page 3 of The Honor of Being Hers (Terms of Devotion #1)

Ryan Monroe stood frozen in the conference hall, his broad frame rigid with tension as he watched Lauren Langford disappear into the crowd with her protective circle of friends.

His hands had formed fists at his sides without him realizing it, knuckles white beneath the expensive fabric of his charcoal suit.

The scent of her wild honey and night-blooming jasmine lingered in the air like an accusation.

“Ryan.” William’s voice was low, careful. “You need to breathe.”

He wasn’t breathing. Hadn’t been since the moment he’d caught her scent and every rational thought had fled his head.

His chest felt tight, constricted, like someone had wrapped steel bands around his ribs.

She was here. She was here, she was his scent match, yet she’d looked at him like he was her worst nightmare.

Which, he supposed, he was.

“That was her,” he said, voice hoarse and rougher than usual. “That was fucking Lauren.” The profanity slipped out before he could stop it, his careful control cracking.

Tyler moved closer, close enough that his calming presence helped Ryan’s racing heart slow marginally. “The Lauren? From high school?”

Ryan nodded, jaw clenched so tight it ached.

The Lauren he’d made miserable for three years.

The Lauren he’d cornered in empty hallways, demanding she explain her homework, so he could copy it, then mocking her when she stammered through the answers.

The Lauren he’d made cry in the library, in front of half their class.

He’d been seventeen, full of hormones that made him even more stupid than you’d expect, and he hadn't been able to stop trying to dominate the most gentle and intelligent person in school.

The Lauren he’d driven away from the linguistics program she’d loved. Probably forcing her into online mathematics courses only to avoid him because he’d made it clear that he was looking forward to seeing her at university.

“She perfumed,” William said quietly, but there was something troubled in his voice.

“We all smelled it,” Tyler replied, then paused, “but there was something else, wasn’t there? Something off about her scent.”

William nodded grimly. “Chemical tinge. Bitter. Her heat suppressants aren’t working properly.”

The knowledge hit Ryan like a physical blow. Heat suppressants that weren’t working meant Lauren was vulnerable, potentially going into an unexpected heat cycle. And she was here, surrounded by unmated Alphas, with a pack she wanted nothing to do with.

“We need to help her,” Tyler said, ever the caretaker.

“No.” Ryan’s voice was sharp. “No, we need to stay away from her. She made that clear.”

“Ryan.”

“You didn’t see her face.” Ryan ran a hand through his hair, the familiar gesture doing nothing to calm him. “She looked at me like I was going to hurt her. Again.”

Because he had hurt her. Repeatedly. Deliberately. He’d really been the worst kind of Alpha. With nearly unlimited access to someone who’d never fought back, who’d just taken everything he’d dished out with those wide, wounded eyes.

“You were seventeen,” William said, reading his thoughts. “People change.”

“Do they?” Ryan’s laugh was bitter, his green eyes dark with self-recrimination. “Because she sure as hell hasn’t forgotten. Fuck, did you see how fast she ran?”

Tyler was quiet for a long moment, watching the crowd where Lauren had vanished. “Her cousin was watching us. The Alpha with her group, he positioned himself between us and the elevator after she left.”

“Good,” Ryan said. “He should.”

“That’s not—” William started, then stopped himself. He studied Ryan’s face, taking in the self-loathing and guilt written there. “You’re not the same person you were in high school.”

“She doesn’t know that.” Ryan’s jaw worked, the muscle beneath his skin twitching. “And why should she? Last time she saw me, I was a complete bastard.”

“Then maybe,” Tyler said gently, “we need to find a way to prove it to her.”

Ryan was quiet for a long moment, one hand unconsciously rubbing at his chest where it felt like something had cracked open.

He was torn between the instinct to chase after her, to follow his mate, and the knowledge that he was probably the last person she wanted to see.

The chemical tang in her scent worried him - heat suppressants failing could put her in danger, especially at a conference full of unmated Alphas.

“Her suppressants,” he said finally. “If they’re failing...”

“She could go into heat,” William finished grimly. “Here. Surrounded by strangers.”

The thought made Ryan’s hands clench into fists, his shoulders bunching with barely restrained tension.

Every protective instinct he had was screaming at him to find her, to make sure she was safe.

Passing over the fact he was the reason she’d fled in the first place.

“Fuck,” he breathed, the word barely audible.

“We can’t just ignore this,” Tyler said quietly. “Scent match or not, she’s in potential danger.”

Ryan closed his eyes, weighing his options. Stay away and respect her obvious wishes, or risk making things worse by trying to help.

There wasn’t a choice at all.

“We find a way to help,” he said finally. “But carefully. And only if she’ll let us.”

It wasn’t much of a plan, but it was a start, and, after years of regret, it may be time to finally try to make things right.