Page 80 of The Hitchhikers

“Just chill for a minute.”

He held out the pack again. When she didn’t move, he leaned over and shoved the filter end of the cigarette against her mouth with one hand while the other held the gun to her head. She wished she saw some hesitancy in his face, a flicker of doubt, but there was only a flat stare.

“Open your mouth.”

Her eyes watered. She couldn’t bear the pressure of the gun against her skin any longer. She opened her lips, and he pushed the cigarette in. Then he picked up a silver lighter, flicking it so the flame burst forth, and held it to the tip. She took a small, tentative inhale. It felt as though her throat was closing, her lungs on fire. She started coughing and blew the smoke out in a rush.

Simon laughed and slid a glass of whiskey across the table. She hated whiskey, but she took a sip to placate him. Simon took a larger swallow, then leaned back in his chair with his cigarette hanging out of his mouth. A thin stream of smoke spiraled upward.

“Where’s Jenny?” Alice said.

“She went to bed. She’s mad because I’m drinking.” He shrugged.

Alice was surprised by his ambivalence. He had always seemed concerned when Jenny was upset other times. Maybe he was only acting as though he didn’t care.

“My mom used to make me grilled cheese sandwiches when I couldn’t sleep.” Simon frowned. “I’ve made them myself, but they never taste the same.”

“Memories are like that.”

“She drowned in the bathtub,” he said.

Alice flinched at the shocking words. She didn’t know how to respond. His thoughts were all over the place and she didn’t want to push any buttons.

“She did it on purpose,” he said. “Took a bunch of pills. She wanted my dad to find her, but I got home first because he was out drinking. Whenever he beat her, she’d take me driving around, and we’d look at apartments. I’d get so excited, you know? Then he’d apologize…”

She fumbled for something to say. “That must have been hard.”

“You get used to it.” He took a drag of his cigarette. “It’s only bad if you want them to be something else, but I know my dad’s an asshole. Even after Jenny got kicked out and was living with me, he wouldn’t give me extra hours at the marina. He didn’t care that she was pregnant.”

“Jenny was kicked out?”

“Yep. Shoved out the door with nothing. They wouldn’t even talk to her.”

“What happened to her father?”

“He died a few years ago. Then her mom got her claws into Robert. People thought he was so great just because he wrote a book. Like, Jesus, he had one bestseller, who cares? He inherited most of his money.” He snorted. “He came to the marina once to ask my dad about sailboats. My dad told him all kinds of bullshit.” He laughed. “That was funny.”

“Jenny has talked about her mother. She sounded strict.”

“Hell yeah. She was ice cold.” He took another drag of his cigarette. “She wanted Jenny to be a star so bad. She started teaching her ballet when she was just a little kid. Her mom didn’t care if she had blisters or pulled muscles or anything. She put Jenny on crazy diet pills too.”

“She’s very thin.”

“You should’ve seen her before. She never smiled. I used to boat by their house, and I’d see her standing on the balcony. Hair so blond. She looked like a princess.”

“And you were her knight in shining armor.”

He shrugged. “Lots of guys in town thought she was beautiful, but they were too chicken to ask her out. Nobody thought I was good enough for her. My own dad figured she’d dump me.”

“Do you think being on the run is good for her?”

“It’s a lot better than prison, isn’t it?”

“Too many people have been hurt.”

“I didn’twantto hurt them. I’m protecting my family.”

“I was there, Simon. I saw it happen. You lost control.”