Page 20

C old air drifted into the room, accompanied by the faint moonlight that filtered through the window. Keira’s back stiffened as she kept staring at the ceiling, a look between utter disbelief and disappointment in herself crossing her face.

She had a lot of questions in her mind, but her body—her aching body—would not let her ask any of them. Not to herself, and most especially not now.

She tried to shift and change her position, but it was impossible to do so without waking him.

Him.

Her eyes flicked to Evander, who was still asleep next to her. On her bed. She studied his closed eyelids and the way they seemed to flutter in his sleep.

Was he having a nightmare? Whatever it was, she couldn’t exactly concern herself with it. She had bigger things to deal with, like the fact that she had let him?—

She swallowed. Even the mere thought wouldn’t let her rest. Her eyes drifted to the window again.

If she relaxed her head just a little and let it rest against the wooden headboard of her bed, she would be able to see the brightest part of the moon.

And if she leaned back a bit further, she would be able to see nocturnal birds flying across it, floating in the cold night sky with no regard for the weather or the darkness.

Part of her wished she would reincarnate into a bird in her next life, free from instigation and worries. She could just be for the sake of being alone. Perhaps it was the mere fact that she had been deep in thought for what seemed to be the better part of the night.

She had been rejected from her clan because her cousin just would not have her around anymore.

Then, she got married to a laird who died on their wedding night right before consummating their marriage.

Now, she was in bed with the man who had threatened to take her castle.

The man who wouldn’t hesitate to throw her out if he had to.

Her eyes turned away from the window to him again. To the way his chest rose and fell slowly and the gentle snores that almost sounded like purrs escaping his lips.

Now, he was organizing a cèilidh for her, where she was supposed to find a husband. That should not be too hard for her to do, should it? If she wasn’t beginning to entertain the notion that she was cursed, none of this would be happening in the first place.

She thought back to the series of unfortunate events that had brought them together. His castle burning, her councilmen handing over her castle to him, and her growing resentment by the day.

Resentment.

Was that truly what she felt for him now, after everything that had happened? She could almost feel his lips on her, like it was happening all over again. His fingers and the way her walls had accommodated them.

She was certain he would have taken her if he wanted to. But for some reason, he didn’t, and that did not exactly make her comfortable.

A low, whooshing sound broke her chain of thoughts and made her jerk her head up. A bird had flown into the room. A pigeon, from what she could see in the dim moonlight.

Her body stiffened, and for the briefest of seconds, she wondered if she needed to wake Evander.

Ach, ‘tis just a bird.

She mumbled, almost like she was forcefully reassuring herself.

The pigeon landed on the table closest to her door and looked around the room, its head bobbing up and down.

It waddled closer to the moonlight, and she could see it clearly.

Its feathers were white and black, and each color shone brightly in the illuminated space it stood in.

Keira slowly brought the covers closer to her chest and watched as the bird continued to inspect the room, as if searching for where its next meal would come from. Then, it stopped the instant its eyes landed on her.

They held each other’s gazes for the longest moment, and Keira started to wonder—ridiculous though it was—whether the bird was trying to tell her something. Something she couldn’t particularly understand.

For the briefest of moments, it did feel like she shared something with the bird. Something undeniable and clear.

Evander stirred in his sleep, a low groan escaping his lips as he kicked around underneath the covers. The movement startled the pigeon, and before Keira could understand what was happening, it had leaped off the table and flown out of the window.

What was even happening?

The question echoed over and over in her head, but she knew it would take more time for her to get through the day than to decide to answer that question for herself.

And so she shook off her reverie and climbed out of bed. The movement finally pulled Evander out of his slumber. She could tell the exact moment he woke up, even though his face was hidden beneath the shadows, but his gentle snores had stopped.

Her feet padded across the floor as she made her way to the bathing chamber. Her deliberately slow and cautiously quiet footsteps halted when Evander called out, “Do ye need me to leave?”

She turned on her heel to look at him. His face was still cloaked in shadow, but she could see movement.

“We dinnae want people to get the wrong idea, do we?”

A scoff escaped her lips. The wrong idea. And what exactly would be the wrong idea here? The Laird and the widow caught naked in bed together? Yes, that certainly was the wrong idea.

Evander sat up and climbed out of bed as well. She watched him approach her, naked from the waist up. Her eyes flicked down to his trousers, which hung loosely on his hips, and the lines that traveled from his navel to the mound beneath his waistband.

“Here,” he muttered, snapping her out of her momentary reverie.

Keira watched as he picked up her dress from the floor and handed it to her.

“I can lace it for ye if ye like. I dinnae?—”

“I can wear me own dress, thank ye very much,” she cut him off, her voice harsher than she had intended.

Evander only nodded and watched her snatch the dress from his hand. She swiftly slipped it over her head, still feeling his eyes on her. The cold in the room had dissipated, and all she could feel and focus on was the heat in the back of her neck.

“Do we need to… talk about this?” Evander asked.

“Nay. What is there to talk about?”

Evander opened his mouth to speak, but the sound of footsteps outside the door froze the words in his mouth. Keira heard it, too, because she swallowed hard. The footsteps seemed to grow louder. She shot him a horrified look, but he remained calm in contrast. And it made her even angrier.

Then, a knock sounded at the door.

They both paused, holding their breaths, careful not to move or touch anything. It took Keira a while to notice that she was standing on her tiptoes.

“M’Lady?” a voice called, muffled by the wooden door.

Keira sighed. “Stella?”

“Aye. ‘Tis me. I heard ye from me room and thought ye might need something.”

“Oh, it must have been the bird.”

Evander turned to her, his brow furrowed in confusion. “The bird?” he whispered.

“The bird?” Stella called.

“Aye. It flew into me room. ‘Tis gone now. Ye dinnae need to worry.”

Stella seemed to hover by the door for a while. “Are ye certain ye dinnae need anything else, M’Lady?”

“Very,” Keira replied, hoping her tone was reassuring enough.

“Alright. I shall take me leave, then.”

The footsteps resumed again, but this time they grew distant. They grew fainter and fainter until none of them could hear them anymore.

“A bird?” Evander asked once the coast was clear.

Keira wrapped the shawl he had handed her around her shoulders, a wave of shame suddenly washing over her.

As if he didnae run his hands all over me body mere hours ago.

“I think ye need to leave,” Keira finally said, ignoring his question.

“Keira—”

“There’s nothing to talk about. For all intents and purposes, whatever happened last night, didnae happen.”

“Is this a jest?”

“I’m nae exactly laughing now, am I?”

Evander noticed the sharp shift in her demeanor. She did, too, but it was too late to stop. This had always been their dynamic anyway, and she found it quite easier to speak to him in this way.

“I’m just trying to be kind to ye so ye can?—”

“Well, stop. Stop trying to be kind to me. I didnae ask for it, and frankly, I dinnae need it.”

A brief, charged silence swept over them, in which Keira took in his sculpted chest and ran her eyes over him once more. What she wouldn’t give to feel his chest beneath her palms, his heartbeat beneath her lips.

As if he had read her thoughts, he pressed her hands to his chest.

“What is this truly about, Keira?” he asked.

“Must there always be something? Why must there always be something? I need ye to stop being kind to me. I dinnae think it’s such a hard concept to understand. Do ye?”

She was trying to inject all her hostility in her snarky remarks and snappy responses, but Evander simply was not taking it. For some reason, he could see through all of it, and she hated it.

“Ye turned me life upside down. Ye came in here with yer people and yer love for baby goats and yer shelter building and yer ridiculous furniture.”

“I dinnae think they are as ridiculous as ye think they are,” Evander murmured, his lips curling into a smirk.

He took a step closer, and Keira felt her heart skip a beat. She could see him more clearly now, like a temptation that had been sent directly from God himself to serve her.

“And I dinnae recall ye complaining about me presence when I had me tongue inside ye a few hours ago,” he added, the smirk still lingering on his lips.

“Ugh. This is what I mean. This whole thing has to stop.”

“I dinnae see why it should.”

Keira tapped her feet gently on the floor, hating the fact that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get him to see reason.

It hurt even more now because she couldn’t scream, no matter how hard she tried.

After all, it was late in the middle of the night, and the last thing she wanted was to draw even more attention to herself.

What she was currently going through was humiliating enough.

“I am a widow,” she insisted.

“That doesnae negate anything I just said.”

“Ye still dinnae get it, do ye? There is only one way this ends.”

“And who says it has to?” he asked.

Keira shook her head. “Because ‘tis the way things must happen. Yer family keeps arriving one after the other. Ye have a cèilidh coming up in just a few days, and soon the castle will be filled with yer clansmen.”

“Need I remind ye that none of this would’ve happened if ye didnae?—”

“If I didnae burn yer castle. Aye. Ye have made that clear a thousand times.”

“’Tis true, is it nae?” he asked, dropping his hands from his chest, his eyes still boring into hers.

Keira narrowed her eyes at him. He had to be doing this intentionally, at this point. There was no other way to explain it.

“This isnae even about yer burned castle. ‘Tis about the future. And the fact that all of this is about to come to an end soon.”

The tension in the room thickened, and the heat radiating from their bodies rose so high that even the cold night air could barely lower it.

Keira could see the look on Evander’s face.

The way he lightly licked his lips as his gaze flicked down her body.

The way his eyes lingered on her waist and chest.

It was taking every last bit of strength she had not to reach for him and kiss him once again. This couldn’t happen once more, and it was up to her to make sure of it.

“What are ye saying? That this was a mistake?” Evander asked.

“It is nae exactly proper, M’Laird,” Keira pointed out.

Evander cocked his head, her words coaxing a smile onto his lips. “M’Laird? What happened to Mr. Kincaid ?”

“I needed ye to understand the seriousness of the issue.”

“I dinnae see an issue.”

“Ye are a respectable laird. I am a widow.”

“Exactly. Yer husband is dead.”

Keira stiffened at his words but continued to speak anyway. “And I am in the process of finding another one.”

Evander froze. She could see the moment all humor and amusement vanished from his face.

“Aye.” His response was slow, strained, and incredibly hesitant.

“That was always the plan, was it nae?”

Evander turned around without saying a word, the shadows immediately enveloping his figure. He headed toward the bed, and Keira watched his silhouette rummage beneath the covers.

“What—what is it?”

He grabbed his clothes and pulled them on, Keira’s eyes following him the entire time.

“Ye’re right. The plan was always for ye to find a husband.”

“So why did yer expression change at the mention of that?” she questioned, the tension in her voice causing the words to tumble out of her mouth.

“Me expression didnae change.”

“Ye’re nae talking to Tommy here, Evander.”

Evander swallowed. “Perhaps I am nae comfortable with the idea of ye marrying another man.”

Keira scoffed. This must be a joke. One she was finding anything but hilarious.

“Do ye want to marry me, then? Ye need to make up yer mind.”

He moved closer to her. “I dinnae. But that doesnae mean I can imagine ye belonging to someone else.”

Belonging to someone else.

Who the devil did he think he was, thinking he had control of her life because he couldn’t decide on what he wanted and didn’t want?

“If I could marry anyone…” he whispered, reaching for her chin. He tilted her face up to his, and she saw the earnestness in his eyes as they searched hers. “It would be ye, Keira.”

“And what exactly is stopping ye?” Keira asked, her voice thick with tension.

She could reach for him and pull him closer, crush her lips to his, and she wouldn’t have to think about any of this anymore. At least not for the next few hours.

Evander dropped his hand. “I just… I just cannae.”

“Ye dinnae want to marry me, and yet ye cannae stand the thought of me with someone else?”

“Nae as long as ye stay here,” Evander responded, the helplessness in his voice palpable.

“Well, ‘tis a good thing I’m leaving as soon as possible then, is it nae?” she hissed, unable to hide the hot anger in her voice.

She did not wait for him to say anything or call her back. She just turned around and headed straight to the bathing chamber.

When he was done, he could let himself out.