Page 34 of The Highlander’s Tempestuous Bride (The Highlander’s Bride #3)

Gilda stared at her mug. In the corner of the room Will slept, tucked in his blanket on the cot. Tavia had left them to check on a woman near birthing in the village, and she’d tried to nap as well, but, as tired as she was, both emotionally and physically, sleep would not come. Staring at the thatched ceiling, she’d waited until Will’s eyes closed, then slipped quietly from the narrow bed.

She jumped at the rap on the door frame, nearly knocking over the table in her haste to stop whoever it was from making so much noise and waken her sleeping son. She jerked the door open, rocking back on her heels in disbelief.

Framed in the doorway, his shoulders taking up most of the open space, Ryan stood before her. His build was stronger, yet leaner than before, his hair tied neatly back, but still longer than she remembered. Deeply tanned skin contrasted vividly against his white leine, but his amber eyes glowed fiercely from his familiar face.

In spite of the shuttered look he gave her, her heart lurched longingly.

Dead over a year and he still makes my heart tremble . The admission brought an irreverent tilt to her lips which she quickly raised a hand to conceal.

Recovering her poise, she recalled his earlier dismissal of her and Will and put her hand to the door, intent on closing it.

He pressed his side of the door with spread fingertips, stopping her. “May I come in? ”

His voice rumbled through her, recalling passion, and her heart warred with her head. She peeked past him and was reassured to see the guards only a few feet away. Without enthusiasm, she stepped back, motioning him inside.

“Aye, but please keep yer voice low. I dinnae want ye to wake Will.”

His eyes slid from hers at the mention of the bairn, and Gilda’s efforts at politeness slipped a notch. Her jaw clenched as she offered him a chair.

“Would ye sit?”

Ryan gave her a sharp look, but she maintained her calm as she seated herself across the table from him. He touched the table with a forefinger, drawing an invisible design on its surface. Gilda waited for him to break the silence.

“I believe we got off on the wrong foot earlier.”

“Och, well, I was a wee bit surprised to see ye on yer fine horse at the dock.” Gilda could not hold back her sarcasm at Ryan’s poor opening statement, and was satisfied to see him wince.

But his voice remained even. “I am sorry for that. I can only tell you about these past months and hope ye understand.”

Gilda’s eyes widened and her voice dropped to a whisper, her hand at her throat. “I dinnae want to hear!” She cringed at Ryan’s wounded look, and she battled down the fear stirring inside. “Ye dinnae know the nightmares I had after the pirates—”

“I am sorry, a stor . I dinnae mean to cause ye more distress. Will ye not hear me?”

Not immune to his endearment, she hesitated, biting back the insistent No! roaring through her head. She pleated the fabric of her skirt with trembling fingers then leapt to her feet and added hot water to her mug. The soothing aroma of herbs wafted in the air and she took a small sip of the liquid. Cradling the cup between her hands, she nodded. “Aye.”

“The day the pirates came, I sent Conn to protect ye and the others—get ye to the castle and out of harm’s way. We were outnumbered and I prayed reinforcements from the castle would arrive in time. We only had to hold them off until Conn got ye to safety. Soldiers arrived and we fought the pirates back to the cliffs, but the battle was fierce. I took a blow to the head and that was the last I remembered for a very long time.”

Gilda eyed him, puzzled. “What happened? ”

“I fell over the cliff and floated down the coastline. The pirates fled our beach and picked me up as they sailed away sometime later.”

“Why did they not ransom ye? Why did we not hear?”

“My wound was severe, Gilda. There was no one who recognized me. I learned later their leader was dead. When I finally woke, I dinnae remember who I was.”

Gilda rose slowly and paced the small room. He’d been alone and unable to remember his name. Visions of Acair’s death leaped through her memory. The sound of the wolf’s snarls, the pirate’s anguished cry. The sight of the sword Conn slid through his chest.

A nameless emotion seared her insides, leaving her breathless and cold. She startled as a hand clasped her shoulder and she whirled to meet Ryan’s gaze.

“Will ye not sit with me?”

She nodded and followed him back to the table. Catching her chair by its rungs with his foot, he slid it next to his. Gilda sank slowly onto the woven seat and jerked as his thigh brushed hers. Ryan cleared his throat, a surprised look on his face as Gilda edged away.

“I lived with the pirates, Gilda. I saw many things I dinnae like, but couldnae change. They kept me as a slave for many months, shackled, starved. They made their living plundering foundered ships, and I hated every moment.

“One day they pulled an old man from the battered remains of his small boat and tossed him below decks to either live or die. I nursed him back to health as best I could, and he gave me the first clue to who I was. He said my eyes marked me as a Macraig.”

His words stirred Gilda from her dread of his story. “Aye! Ye and Lissa both have the same eyes.” She started to rise. “Even—”

Ryan caught her hand. “Please let me finish.”

She glanced to where Will lay sleeping and reluctantly dropped back into her seat. He did not release her hand, and she found the warmth of his palm stirred pleasant memories. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth and Ryan tightened his hold.

“Not long afterward, Greum and I decided to escape. The pirates had stumbled across another sinking ship and planned to take its treasures and send the rest to the bottom. I managed to convince the ship’s captain I was there to help him, and Greum loosed the grapples. Together, we turned the tables on the pirates, leaving them on the sinking ship and taking over theirs. By then, we were near the coast of France .

“Captain Rousseau’s wife and daughters had been on board the ship and were verra distressed, so we took them home. I was their guest for a week or so while he arranged passage for Greum and me back to Scotland. Our trip was long, but uneventful.

“On the last leg of the journey, we were held up by bad weather in Ireland, and I met Laird Maclellan and his son, Boyd. They recognized me and that was the first I knew my name. I bribed a ship’s captain to leave immediately, and arrived here this morning.”

Something in the bland, impersonal way he spoke, told her he left out many details she had little desire to know. She finally understood why he had stayed away so long, and why no word came to them to tell them he lived. Perhaps she did not need to know exactly what had happened to create the gaunt man she saw before her.

She gazed upon the sharp lines of his face, cheekbones prominent, his skin reddened from sun and wind. Fine lines stretched from the corners of his eyes. His fingers wound through hers, lean and strong. There was a look of sadness about him, resoluteness replacing the carefree young man he’d once been.

“Conn talked to me a lot about ye,” she said. “Told me stories about ye and him as lads. It was hard to get over ye, but he helped.”

His hands gripped hers almost painfully and she flinched in surprise. His brow furrowed angrily and muscles twitched in his jaw as he clearly ground his teeth.

“Please dinnae be angry! He has been wonderful to me.”

“And how wonderful was that?” His mocking words taunted her and she snatched her hands away.

“Ye are jealous! How can ye possibly have the right to be jealous?”

He exhaled a long breath and scrubbed his face with his hands. “I dinnae know, Gilda, but I am. And ’tis tearing me apart.”

The agonized look on his face pulled at her heart. “Conn has been a dear friend this past year. He couldnae visit much, but he made a point of doing so after he found out I was with child. He was there the day Will was born, and has been good to the bairn.”

“I can imagine.” His words scraped past clenched teeth.

“He really loves Will.”

Ryan’s snort of derision astounded Gilda. She rounded on him angrily. “What is wrong with ye? I loved ye so much, but ye werenae here for me, and I am sorry I couldnae be there for ye.” Tears burned her eyes and she jabbed at them furiously with the heels of her hands.

Ryan picked up a cloth spread across the back of his chair and gently wiped her cheeks. “I am sorry, too, Gilda. When my memory returned, all I could think of was ye and how good we were together. As soon as I knew I rushed home to ye. I wasnae counting on seeing ye and Conn together—and the bairn.”

Small, snuffling noises came from the bed in the corner of the room, and Gilda broke away. She lifted Will, cuddling him against her, her mind a whirlwind of thought as she tried to jostle him back to sleep. Tiny fists waved sleepily in the air and his face scrunched tight.

Ryan peered over her shoulder. “He is a braw lad.”

His voice was quiet, but her heart swelled. I never thought he would see his son! Oh, how I longed for this . Swallowing the lump in her throat, she touched Will’s fist. Instantly his tiny fingers wrapped around hers and his eyes opened wide. She was struck anew at how much he resembled his father, his night-dark hair framing his amber eyes.

“Whose child is this?” Ryan suddenly demanded.

Gilda hesitated, flustered by his tone. “What?”

Ryan grasped her shoulders and forced her to face him. “His father, who is he?”

Gilda’s heart tripled its beat, fluttering uselessly in her chest as she realized he hadn’t known. Hadn’t suspected.

She gasped, “Ye are.” Then she found her breath again and fresh anger blazed.

Her palm made resounding contact with his face, showing a white imprint on his cheek before it flared bright red. “How dare ye? How dare ye think I slept with Conn mere days after ye disappeared! I was devastated! I would never have done that.” Numb with shock, she stared at him. He had paled noticeably beneath his tan and looked so ghastly Gilda almost lifted a hand to soothe him before she remembered how angry she was.

He held out his palms in a gesture of surrender, then let them drop to his sides. “I cannae believe what an amadan I have been. If there is anything I can do to make ye forgive me, I will do it, a stor . Anything at all.”

“Explain to me how you could think Will could be Conn’s son.”

Ryan shrugged ruefully. “I dinnae think we had been marrit long enough and was so blinded by jealousy, I couldnae think straight. I saw the three of ye walking down the path and at first dinnae know who ye were. But ye were exactly what I wanted for us. For you and me, Gilda. A family. And then I saw Conn apparently had already taken what I wanted and made my dream come true for himself.” He drew a deep breath. “I was an ass.”

“Aye. A big ass.”

Will began to cry and Gilda gave Ryan an apologetic look. “I must feed him.”

“May I stay?”

With a hesitant shrug, Gilda unlaced her bodice and slid it over one shoulder, baring her breast. Will latched on hungrily and began nursing. Ryan caught her elbow and guided her to the edge of the cot, helping her to sit. He perched on the edge of the nearby chair, fascination on his face. Heat twisted inside her to have him watch her feed their son.

“Would ye tell me of it?” he asked. “The time before he was born?”

Her voice softened as she gently rocked the bairn. “Yer da couldnae stand the sight of me and I came back to Scaurness to live. I had my family, and occasionally Lissa would visit. But ye werenae there. I was carrying yer bairn and ye werenae there. It was such a relief when he was born and everyone told me how much he looked like ye. I had a part of ye with me again. A part I could hold and cuddle and love. He has meant everything to me.”

Will turned his head away from her breast and stuck his fist in his mouth. Gilda smiled. “He usually is a fierce eater. He will be hungry again soon.” She pulled her bodice closed and lifted him to her shoulder.

“May I?”

“What?”

“I would like to hold him.”

She turned the bairn and placed him in Ryan’s arms. For a long moment the two stared at each other, mirror images, older and younger.

“Ye need to burp him.”

“Aye.” He placed Will against his shoulder and patted his back gently. Gilda slipped a cloth beneath the bairn’s face. After a moment, he let out a very satisfying belch. He chuckled and drooled, his head bobbing lightly.

Ryan grinned.

Gilda felt an answering smile begin from her heart and touch her lips and sincerely hoped she didn’t resemble a besotted idiot. She reached for the bairn, but Ryan caught her waist and pulled her against him. Before she knew what he was doing, his lips met hers, devouring her in a kiss that left her breathless. She returned his passion, wrapping her arms about his neck, needing to get as close to him as possible.

Will fussed, trapped as he was between them, and they reluctantly ended the kiss, giving the bairn a bit of breathing space.

“I should have gotten off my horse and kissed ye like that when I saw ye this morning.” He softly kissed her cheek. “My arms have been empty too long, a stor . Even when I dinnae know who I was, I remembered yer hair, yer skin, yer voice. Yesterday, I remembered yer name.”

Gilda began to weep. Great, gut-wrenching sobs threatened to pull her apart. Ryan held her against him and she felt him shudder.

“I am sorry, Gilda.”

“I am glad ye are home!” She gulped, sniffing back her tears. Her heart seemed to somersault in her chest.

“Aye. Ye are my home. Ye and Will are all I need. I want to watch all our children play and grow.”

“All? I just gave birth to this one!”

Ryan laughed and Gilda thrilled to the sound.

“Will ye marry me, Gilda?”

“In front of a priest and everything?”

“Aye. In front of a priest and everything.”

“I will marry ye, Ryan Macraig.” She lifted an eyebrow, a merry glint in her eyes. “And mayhap see about those children ye say ye want.”