Page 22 of The Highlander’s Enchanted Healer (Spellbound Hearts #2)

The pleasure was all-consuming. It pushed out all other thought, all other concern, and left only me and Ross.

Only this moment in time. Only our bodies entwined.

Only the way he made me feel. His mouth on my breasts nearly drove me out of my mind.

I was certain I would never experience anything better than the way his tongue flicked over my nipple or the way he suckled my breasts, making me want to scream, but then his fingers delved between my thighs and slid between my womanhood to find that spot only I had ever touched.

I knew before his fingers grazed my throbbing nub that immense pleasure was to be found there if touched just right, but never, never had I imagined the bliss to come.

Like the gentlest of kisses, his fingers moved over my secret parts, building heat and desire and making me thrash with each slide of his fingertips.

And when the pressure he exerted on me grew harder and his tempo faster, my insides tightened and my need grew until I could only sputter, “I need, I need, I—Ah!”

I thrust my hips at him, unsure exactly what I needed, but my heart pounded as I reached some cliff and a hundred hot, decadent sensations exploded within me.

My insides constricted in a delicious pulsing sensation that was unlike any release I had ever managed to give myself.

But even as it ebbed, I wanted more. I needed more, and I knew instinctively that the more I needed would only be found with Ross inside me, our bodies becoming one.

“Take me,” I managed, my voice little more than a ragged whisper.

His beautiful eyes widened as our gazed locked.

Tenderness was there in the depths of his stare, and it made my heart ache suddenly.

He came between my thighs, and then his staff was sliding into me, filling me.

It was the unlike anything I’d ever experience, and at first, it was frightening because I felt stretched, but then he stilled, and I understood immediately he was giving me time to get used to him.

I was deeply touched by his concern for me in that moment, when I was certain desire was consuming him as it was me.

I could see a sheen of sweat on his forehead, and the muscles twitched in his arms, by his jaw, and in his stomach.

He was, I knew, holding himself back for me.

He shifted ever so slightly, but the friction it caused sent a jolt of pleasure through me, so that I relaxed for what was to come.

“I need ye,” I blurted, my inner thoughts escaping yet again.

In this moment, though, I did not care. He slid all the way in me, causing a sharp pain that was gone almost as soon as it appeared, and then he drew himself nearly all the way out, only to slide all the way in once more.

It was sweet torture. I had been wrong before, thinking I would never experience anything better than his tongue on my nipple.

Ross inside me was the most hedonistic, most indulgent feeling I had ever experienced.

Every movement made me clench around him.

Every touch of my fingers on his hot skin filled me with insatiable hunger.

And when his mouth found my breast once more as he moved in and out of me, I thought I might die.

I couldn’t think. I could only move with him toward the ultimate gratification.

My body ached from the inside out, but as his movements became faster and harder, it seemed not only to stoke the sweet pain but ease it as well.

I was climbing toward some precipice I may never return from, but I was eager to get there.

I panted with each of his strokes, running my hands over his tight arse, then his broad back, then settling on his muscular thighs to hold them as he drove us both toward the ultimate end.

When it came, it was a shower of heat and delight.

He bellowed, and I was certain I whimpered—or maybe I screamed—and then he was heavy upon me as the throbbing inside me eased and my heart started to slow.

A tremendous shudder ran through him and vibrated into me, filling me with wonder that I could be so close to a person.

We were as one. I had the sudden overwhelming urge to tell him who I was, to take a chance and reach for a future that I’d never imagined.

I slapped my hand over my mouth, fearful of what damning words might come out just as his stared down at me, and his thoughts tore through me, making me recoil on the inside.

What have I done? God’s blood, I have broken my vow.

His guilt had the sharpness of a well-honed blade, and had my heart been involved, I would have been in trouble.

Next came regret, like a tide that would drown me.

I swallowed, feeling as if I had been pulled under cold water and that I needed to conserve my breath to fight my way to the surface.

And then utter silence fell, and I had to fight not to let my jaw drop open.

He had pulled up a wall or gathered his control; either way, the result was the same.

This man had unbreakable willpower when he wanted to, and I understood in that moment that with him that the only way I would ever read his thoughts was in a moment of utter weakness, which I knew, without a doubt, was rare.

“Aria, I—”

He did not even know my real name. I had joined with this man.

I had given him my body and taken his, and he didn’t even know my true name.

Tears pressed against my eyelids, and I turned away from him, fearful I was about to cry.

No. I wouldn’t allow myself to do so. I would not cry.

I would have an iron will, just as Ross had.

“I should nae have—”

I forced myself to look at him again. I would not be weak. “What I’m trying to say is—”

God’s blood, I could not take this. “Ye did nae mean to break yer vow,” I said to end his misery and mine. I hadn’t meant to join with my family’s enemy, and yet I had. We’d both done things we hadn’t intended.

“I did nae mean for this, for us—” He stopped talking.

Thank the gods. I needed a moment and turned my face away.

My own thoughts roared in my head. I was naked.

I now had a chill. I wanted to move, to cover myself, but I did not want to move first. Nothing about this man was as I had thought.

He had awoken a hunger in me, but it was a hunger for him alone.

I was not certain of anything now. Was Ross my enemy, or was my own stepbrother deceiving me?

Either way, my heart would be shattered, and either way, Ross would not want me when he discovered who I truly was.

“When Alba is healed, and my parents avenged, I can think upon a future, but until then, I can nae. And I can nae allow myself to touch ye again. Do ye understand? Can ye forgive me for this? I—”

“Ye did nae attack me, Ross,” I said, needing him to stop talking.

Every word he said, every kindness he showed, made me want to tell him the truth, and I could not risk that until I knew who had killed my family.

Thank the gods my tongue was not tingling and my secrets were not currently trying to push their way out of me.

I could see the guilt for what we’d done in the tenseness of his jaw, and though I felt guilt myself, it hurt me to see it in him.

I supposed I was foolish, but what I wanted in that moment was for him to so desire me that I was all that mattered.

What a clot-heid I was. I swallowed. I could not just sit here and wait for him to push me away, even if it was best. It would hurt too much.

“I wanted ye,” I said, tiredness descending on me like a heavy mist. “And I foolishly allowed that want to overrule all else. Ye can go now.”

There. I was the victor. I had dismissed him. Never mind it nearly killed me to do so.

I could not shake the shock of what I had done with Ross, what he had made me feel, the growing confusion it all caused, so I resolved to keep a distance from him and focus on Alba.

I awoke the next morning and headed straight to Alba’s bedchamber.

I could hear her moving around inside, and I knew if I knocked she most likely would not answer, but I didn’t want to barge in, so I did knock.

“Alba, ’tis Aria, the healer,” I said gently. “I’m going to enter the bedchamber.” I counted to twenty in my head and then slowly opened the door, half prepared for her to lunge at me. To my surprise, she was sitting on the bed with her hands folded in her lap, staring at me as I entered the room.

She looked a fright still—dirty face, tangled hair, ratty gown—and the room still smelled, but I counted it a small victory that she had not tried to come at me with a dagger upon entering.

“Alba,” I said, approaching her, “I want to help ye.”

Her only response was to blink at me. I approached the bed and slowly sat, wanting her to feel we were on the same level and not wanting to be in a perceived position of power by standing over her.

I half expected her to try to shove me off the bed as I sat, but she did not make a move to touch me.

When she turned her gaze toward me, truly acknowledging my presence, I counted it as another victory.

She was, I realized as I studied her face, a very pretty woman.

She had unusual-colored eyes the color of a green leaf tinged with gold, and her bone structure was exquisite.

The gods had blessed all the siblings of this family to be pleasing to look upon.

“Yer brother Ross has brought me here to aid ye,” I reminded her and looked for a response.

I did not get one. She simply continued to stare.

I inhaled a long breath and continued. “Ross thinks if I can aid ye in breaking through yer pain, yer fear, ye will heal. If ye’ll allow me, I’d like to try to read yer mind.

” Again, there was no response, so I took another fortifying breath and reached toward her to touch her arm.

She was off the bed and across the room, cowering in a corner before I knew what was even occurring.

My heart thudded in dismay as I took her in, crouched in the corner, arms wrapped around herself, panting heavily.

I rose, slowly crossed the room, and kneeled before her.

Pity rose in me and fierce anger for what had been done to her.

This could have been me. If Ross had watched my home and sent men to attack me on one of my many excursions to the outskirts of our grounds…

But he had not, and his men had not. They had, as far as I knew, not laid a hand upon a woman or a child in my clan since our two families had been at war.

But my clan could not say the same, and I couldn’t hide from the realization that the atrocities against women and children had happened since Ramsey had become laird.

Ramsey claimed his men had not obeyed his orders when they had attacked Alba.

Would he claim the same for Tomas? A ruler was responsible for his men.

My throat tightened with my distress, and I swallowed past the hard knot in my throat. “I vow I’ll nae touch ye until ye give me some sign that ye allow it.”

The slight inclination of Alba’s head, her acknowledgment of what I’d said, filled me with joy, and I felt my lips pull up into a smile. “Shall I have them bring up water for ye to bathe?”

Her nostrils flared, and her eyes went wide, and she pushed herself hard against the wall, as if to get away from me. “Fine, fine,” I rushed out. “We will nae bathe yet. Small steps, all right?”

Again, the smallest slant of her head.

Then a knock at the door caused both of us to jump.

“Alba, ’tis Allan. I’ve yer breakfast tray.”

I rose, made my way to the door, and opened it for Allan, who peered over my shoulder and frowned. “What did ye do to my sister?” he demanded as I took the tray from him.

“I frightened her when I tried to touch her arm.”

He nodded. “She’ll nae let ye touch her.”

“We’ve come to an agreement that I’ll nae try again unless she’s given me a sign.”

His jaw dropped open. “She spoke?”

“Nay, but she gave the slightest inclination of her head when I suggested it.” It occurred to me that we were talking about Alba as if she were not there, so I turned, found that she’d moved back to the bed to sit once more with her hands crossed in her lap and now was staring at us.

I wondered if this had happened a lot. Alba’s brothers and others had possibly spoken in front of her as if she were not there since she did not speak.

“Come in,” I said to Allan. “So we can speak with Alba as well.”

He frowned. “But she does nae speak.”

Men were such simple creatures! I scowled at him. “She hears. She has a mind that works.” I turned to Alba. “Is this how they have treated ye? As if ye do nae exist?”

She blinked at me, and behind me, Allan let out a snort. “We have protected her. She’s…she’s…breakable.”

A realization hit me. “She’s nae breakable.

” I purposefully caught Alba’s gaze. “Ye are nae breakable,” I told her.

I understood something now, and I swung to face Allan.

“Ye and Ross have meant well, I am certain, but ye have made it worse for Alba. If ye continue to treat her like a helpless creature who can nae join the living again, she will nae.” I thrust the tray at him. “Take this.”

“But Alba needs to break her fast.”

“Aye,” I replied, looking to Alba once more. “She does.” I nibbled on my lip, feeling certain I was right about this. “Alba, if ye wish to eat, ye must go to the great hall like the rest of us and get yer food.”

“Ross will nae agree to this,” Allan warned.

I snorted at that. “Then Ross can speak to me about it.”

Allan’s gaze went from Alba to me. “I leave ye to it, then,” he said before turning to go. Then he paused and turned back, looking to his sister. “Alba, I really hope to see ye in the great hall to break yer fast.”

She did not acknowledge him, but I patted him on the arm.

I knew how hard it had to be for him and Ross not to do all they could to protect her, but they had aided in her helplessness by doing so.

I was certain this was part of the problem.

Once the door shut, I went back to Alba and sat. “Do ye wish to break yer fast?”

She turned her face from me, but her hands upon her lap curled into fists. Good. Anger was an emotion that could push fear away. I decided then and there it was my duty to make her livid. That was how I was going to reach her.