Page 18 of The Highlander’s Auctioned Virgin (Auctioned Highland Brides #3)
“Me friend from the village sent me some sketches of dresses ye can wear for the wedding,” Katherine said as she paced back and forth in Elinor’s room.
Elinor stared off into the distance, utterly disconnected from her reality. She felt like the world was closing in on her, and there was nothing she could do about it. Certainly, she had gained back her freedom, but she didn’t know if her sense of self was still there.
What if she lost her identity during her marriage to Ciaran? Would it be worth it? Would it be worth the hell she had been through in the past few years? Every heartbreak and disappointment she had suffered? What if she were merely setting herself up for a new kind of hell? With the Hound .
“Look.” Katherine handed her a piece of paper.
Elinor took it carefully, the smell of ink transporting her back to the present.
On the paper was a beautifully drawn dress. The bodice looked like it was made of lace, and from the texture of the fabric and the sheen to it, she guessed it was silk.
She didn’t care enough about her wedding to choose a dress, but there was a problem with this sketch. One she couldn’t ignore.
She looked up at Katherine, the paper dangling between her fingers. “‘Tis yellow.”
“Aye. Shawna said that the color was very popular among ladies planning their weddings these days. Imagine yerself in it, blinding people as ye walk down the aisle.”
“Katherine…” Elinor’s voice was low, controlled, and almost devoid of excitement, unlike her friend’s. “I daenae wear yellow.”
“‘Tis a lovely dress, Elinor. Perhaps if ye see it– ”
“I agree, it looks lovely,” Elinor muttered.
Katherine sighed and took the paper from her.
“Well, if ye daenae like it, perhaps–” She handed her another paper, this time showing a green dress with earthy brown tones at the bottom and on the sides.
“–ye will like this one. And daenae worry, ‘tis nae bright green.
‘Tis the color of the leaf of an orange tree.”
Elinor examined the sketch. The dress looked lovely. The cut was certainly exquisite and added the right touch of extravagance she would need for the wedding.
“Aye, certainly. Whatever ye pick is fine.”
Katherine heaved a sigh, grabbed all the papers, and placed them on the dresser. Then, she crossed the room and sat in one of the chairs by the window.
“This isnae about the dress, is it?” she asked.
Elinor shook her head slowly.
“Do ye remember how I went along with yer plan to fool Murdock?”
Elinor laughed. “How could I nae?”
The memories flashed through her mind. It had been three years, yet a part of her felt like it had only happened yesterday. She would always be grateful to Katherine for that. It was thanks to the healer that she had managed to prevent Murdock from stripping her of her innocence.
“Just say the word,” Katherine urged. “If ye daenae want this marriage, say the word. Whatever plan ye come up with, I will fully support it. And I am certain Thomas will, too. From the way Anna was looking at Laird MacTraigh at breakfast this morning, I daenae think she will need a lot of convincing as well.”
Elinor laughed again.
There was something intrinsically comforting about Katherine’s words, and she was grateful to have many people in her corner, ready to go to battle for her so long as she said the word. But this was more than just a battle. This was about survival.
“I wish I could talk to her,” she said eventually, her voice tense.
“Murdock’s first wife. I wish she were alive again so we could talk.
I want to ken if he was horrible even before he married her.
I want to ken if something happened that made him snap along the way, or if he had always been evil and she just chose to turn a blind eye to it until she couldnae anymore. ”
“I had never seen another side to Murdock ever since I came to this castle. I have always kenned one side—the monster in human skin. Why does that worry ye?”
Elinor tilted her head back. “What if Ciaran is only being charming in the beginning? What if down the line, he becomes a dangerous monster like Murdock, and then I start blaming meself for nae seeing it coming?”
Katherine was not naturally dismissive. She mulled long and hard over Elinor’s words. Elinor knew, she could see it on her face. The way her eyebrows drew down and the way she paused to consider her response.
“Ye did mention that he won for having every quality ye were looking for in a man, did ye nae?”
“Aye, I did. He saved me from a storm when the other lairds could nae be bothered. When those bastards fled back to the castle.”
“That is a good sign, Elinor. Of course, ye’re the only one who saw him at the cabin, who saw what he was like, and I trust yer decision.”
“And there’s also the fact that he is a killer.”
Katherine scoffed. “Honestly, the fact that he hasnae killed anyone since he got here only proves the fact that he doesnae kill randomly. Every single Laird has been to war, they’ve all had to kill someone at one point or another.
But Thomas, who is unusually obsessed with the Hound, told me that most of the people he killed were terrible lairds and power-hungry warlords. ”
Elinor nodded. “True. He told me the same. It just doesnae negate the fact that he is a killer at the end of the day.”
“Think about it this way—what does he have to gain if he kills ye?”
“I daenae ken. The castle?”
Katherine nodded. “Fair point. But look. At the end of the day, ye have to do what is best for ye. And I doubt ye would have agreed to this marriage if ye strongly suspected that he would eventually turn into a monster similar to Murdock.”
Elinor nodded. “Aye. These are just speculations.”
“I think ye’re afraid of something else, if I’m honest.”
Elinor’s eyes darted to the stack of papers Katherine had placed on the dresser. “I suppose I’m also afraid that I will never find meself with him either.”
“What do ye mean?” Katherine asked, curiosity flickering in her eyes.
“For the last three years, I was someone’s wife.
Murdock stripped me of me sense of self, of who I was as a person before him over those years.
I daenae ken who I am after his death. Now, I am about to get married to another man.
I’m just afraid I willnae be able to go back to that once I’m someone’s wife again. ”
Katherine nodded. “If Ciaran is half the man ye think he is, ye will find yerself in nay time.”
Elinor was grateful that her friend was there to point her in the right direction, even if it felt like hell at that moment.
Ciaran might be charming and a gentleman, but she still had to remind herself time and again that she was marrying a killer. Sure, she had been safe with the Hound, but what would happen after they wed?
What if he changes?
“Ye daenae have to worry about this for now, Elinor,” Katherine said.
“If he is truly as terrible as we’re afraid he might be, ye would have seen the signs.
Nay man is capable of hiding his true self for this long.
The lairds had shown their cowardice within one day.
Trust me when I say this—ye’re on the right path with him. ”
Elinor laughed. “Ye ken, I could have sworn that ye were never against this marriage in the first place.”
“Blame Thomas. He made me see what a good person yer future husband is.”
Elinor nodded. “Well, I still intend to keep me distance. Some men ken how to hide their true nature better and longer than others.”
“I suppose ye’re right,” Katherine conceded.
Silence descended between them. This time, it was companionable, almost soothing.
Elinor cast another glance at the stack of papers on the dresser. “Let me see those sketches again.”
“Are ye certain ye’re in the mood?”
“Before I change me mind,” Elinor drawled.
Katherine swiped the papers off the dresser.
“Anything but the yellow dress. I may nae be excited about the wedding, but I daenae intend to get married in something that can be seen from the heavens.”
Katherine laughed and handed her the sketches.
Elinor studied the green dress again. Something about it stood out to her. Something clear and rather pronounced.
She looked up at Katherine. “What do ye think Ciaran is doing right now?”