Page 9 of The Hellcat Barbies: Aubree

Autumn may as well have punched me in the gut.

All the wind felt as if it had been knocked from me.

The only thing that I knew to do was to drain the liquid from my cup and walk off to get another drink.

I left her standing there because she was a vindictive bitch, and I was real close to cursing her the fuck out.

If what she said was true, I had a bone to pick with Aubree as well, but Autumn could have done that shit with more decorum.

Silly bitch didn’t have any tact. She wanted to hurt Aubree so bad and for fuckin’ what?

“You good man?” By the time Cook found me, I had damn near finished the drink.

“Hell fucking nah. That evil ass bitch told me that Aubree had a baby that she hid from me. Said she had the baby and gave it to their aunt.”

Cook’s face crumpled. “You believe her?”

“Why would she lie about some shit like that? Either Aubree had my baby and didn’t care enough to tell me, or she had another nigga’s baby. Either way, it’s an issue.”

“Hold on, fam.” Cook was drunk and high, but he was coherent enough to try and talk me off the ledge.

“You remember how you handled that, right? You walked away from her. You left and you were gone for six years. Don’t spazz too much, man. I’m not taking her side. I’m just saying, be easy.”

I swallowed the last of the drink in my cup. “You’re right. You’re right,” I repeated with a nod trying to calm myself down.

I couldn’t focus on anything but talking to Aubree.

I doubted I’d be taking anything from the club to a hotel with me because I wasn’t even in the mood to hold conversation.

Cook could tell my mood had shifted, and there wouldn’t be any coming back from it until I got answers.

After another twenty minutes in the club, we parted ways, and I headed for the side of town that Aubree lived on.

I was familiar with the area, and I didn’t care if I had to drive around for hours, I was going to find her house and knock on the door.

It was up to her whether or not she answered.

A glance at my dashboard made me aware that it was after two in the morning, but I didn’t care.

I didn’t care if Nice was at her crib or if another nigga was at the crib.

I didn’t care about anything except getting answers.

Once I found the neighborhood, it took me about ten minutes to find the right house.

It had been almost twenty-five minutes since I left the club, and I still hadn’t calmed down.

With a scowl on my face, I rang the doorbell wondering if Aubree would answer.

She had a camera by the door, so I knew she could look and see who was at the door.

Making sure to lift my head, so she could see, I stared straight into it. I wanted her to know who it was.

Almost a minute passed before I heard the lock turning on the other side of the door. When it opened, Aubree was staring at me with a frown on her face. “What are you doing here?” her orbs darted around the space behind me as if she expected someone to be with me.

“You had a baby?” I asked with flared nostrils.

Panic flashed in her eyes for a brief moment before her jaw muscles flexed. “Let me guess, you ran into bitch ass Autumn. Because she’s the only person that could have or that would have told you that shit.”

“The question is why didn’t you tell me.”

“You’re really here uninvited and unannounced at damn near three in the morning demanding answers from me. Like are you cool?”

Pushing past her, I entered the house while her jaw slacked. “Nah, I’m not cool. And I won’t be until you stop playing in my face. What the fuck, Aubree?”

“Yes, I was pregnant! I found out a week after you showed your ass on the strip like a little ass kid and made it so that I didn’t want shit else to do with you. You didn’t even want me, so why the hell would you want a baby?!”

“That’s not fair yo.”

“That’s not fair? Nigga, get the fuck outta here with that.

I wanted to wait for you, but you didn’t want that, cool.

You didn’t have to go about it the way you did.

But no matter how you did it, the fact remained that I was young.

I was only twenty-one and had just got my own place.

I couldn’t afford a baby, and I damn sure didn’t want to raise one by myself.

My aunt found out I was going to get an abortion, and she begged me to keep it because she never had kids.

So, rather than end a life, I gave her to someone that would love her and take care of her. ” Aubree’s voice cracked.

Her. I had a fucking daughter. “And you didn’t think you owed me an explanation?”

“No!”

“Get over your fucking self! You could have at least told me.”

“And what were you going to do? Write her letters? Hmm? Ask someone to bring a child to a prison visitation room? My aunt took her home from the hospital. She has raised her. She’s the only mother that Brianna knows. Legally, she’s not our child.”

“But you named her Brianna,” I stated in a low tone. My head was reeling. I wanted to understand where Aubree was coming from, but the shit was hard as hell. There was a part of me that was pissed.

I scrubbed one hand down my face and paced back and forth.

The fact was I couldn’t raise a child from prison, but that wasn’t a reason to count me out.

“You could have had help. Ish would have been there for sure. My mom would have been there. My grandmother. They could have taken the baby on weekends. Ish would have paid for daycare, so you could continue to work. There was a way that you could have kept her.”

“But I didn’t.”

“Because you were on some petty shit,” I glared at her.

Aubree drew back. “I’m the one that needs to get over myself though, right?

Let’s be fucking clear,” she took a step toward me.

“The fact that you were a fuck boy and did what you did, had nothing to do with my decision. If I was in the financial position or the mental headspace to be a single mother, I would have done so. Why make my life hard when there was someone willing to love and care for her? And I still get pictures and updates on her. She thinks I’m her Godmother. Her and my aunt live in Golden Waters.”

Jealousy caused my body temperature to rise. “So, I’m just nobody to her?”

“Basically.” Aubree’s face was void of emotion.

“Wow.” An angry chuckle pushed from my throat. “I guess you finally got me back.”

“This wasn’t about getting you back! Jesus!

I made the decision that was best for me at the time the same way you made the decision that was best for you!

I was bringing in what, around $1,900 a month.

My rent and car payment alone were $1,100.

That would have left me with another $800 for gas, car insurance, food, cell phone, and utilities.

Tell me how I would have factored in diapers, clothes, wipes, and whatever else a child needed.

It would have been real tight for me, and I didn’t want to risk it. ”

“And I told you that my people would have helped.”

“I wasn’t going to have a baby and depend on anyone that wasn’t the person that got me pregnant! What part of that don’t you understand?”

“Fuck it. I’m not talking about the shit anymore. At least I know the truth. It is what it is.”

I turned to grab the door handle.

“Brasi,” Aubree’s voice cracked, and I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to see her cry, but she didn’t get to make me feel bad for her when I was the one that was angry.

“I’m sorry. I should have told you, but like I said, Brianna thinks I’m her Godmother. She thinks her father is my aunt’s late husband. He passed last year. I wasn’t sure if you’d be satisfied with just pictures and occasional updates.”

I turned around and faced Aubree. “It’s all good. You handled it how you saw fit. Shit was thick back then, and we all had to do what made life easier for us. I’m glad that shorty is with someone that loves her and is taking good care of her.”

With that, I left the house. The chapter of my life that had Aubree in it was officially over, and I needed to get that shit through my head.