Page 27 of The Heart of Bennet Hollow

She might have let her mind wander ahead to the hour or two she would pass with Hattie, visiting and dreaming, had they not reached the summit in time for Reverend Coburn to clear his throat again.

“I’ve spoken to your mother and gained her permission to walk you home as a chance to talk about matters of life... and of the heart. I—I aim to do that now.”

“Oh?” Lizbeth hastened their pace.

Reverend Coburn matched her.

When they crested the final hill, he pulled off his hat and fumbled it as they passed the gate that marked the farm’s border. “You see, after much thought, and deep reflection, I’ve come to the decision that it would be wise for me to set the example among my parishioners back home and marry.”

Lizbeth slid past the gate, wishing she could squeak it closed between them. “Well, I—”

“Meaning.” He wet his lips and, in the span of a moment, reached for her hand.

His skin cloyed against her own.

“It has been on the forefront of my mind to secure a wife, and from your father’s daughters have I decided to make my choice. Most of all, it is here that I must declare to you my affections.”

While Lizbeth longed to raise the hem of her skirt and dash down the lane and out of sight, she stood frozen in place by shock.

“If you would permit me, of course. And I promise to make no remark about the difference in our living conditions once we are married. I do believe you’ll like the town of Stroudsburg even more than New River.”

Her eyebrows rose and she coaxed her hand free. “Reverend Coburn. I—I haven’t given an answer,” she stammered. “While I’m flattered by the generosity of your offer, I—” She closed her eyes. “I can’t accept.”

“Now, I—I’m going to go out on a limb and presume that you’re only delaying my hopes so as to be—”

“No, sir.” Lizbeth wiped her hand on her skirt. “Though it pains me to say, my answer is no. Please believe me to be flattered but I must be honest that I can’t accept.”

“But I anticipated—” He glanced past her as Pa’s wagon clattered around the bend.

Blowing out a breath, Lizbeth took several steps onward, relieved when Reverend Coburn did the same.

He walked in silence, as did she, which made for a miserable stretch of pathway until they reached the house.

“I’m dreadfully sorry and I do appreciate you understandin’,” she said weakly. “I wish you the best.”

Pa drove the wagon into the yard and in the flutter of chatter from her ma and sisters, Lizbeth slipped inside. She tried to hurry up the stairs but Ma called out to her. “What just happened on the road with you and Reverend Coburn? Did he ask you an important question? Lizzy!”

“Oh, Ma.” Lizbeth slowed. “I just couldn’t say yes.” At the sight of her mother’s fallen face, tears burned Lizbeth’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t.”

“But, Lizzy. Don’t carry on so. Think of the opportunity!”

Reverend Coburn filled the doorway and Lizbeth hurried upward. She aimed for her bedroom and collapsed onto the lower mattress.

She heard Jayne enter and felt her hand on her braid. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Lizbeth shook her head, which was now burrowed into a pillow.

“No need then. I’ll just sit with you a spell if you don’t mind. Reverend Coburn’ll be just fine.” She brushed her hand down Lizbeth’s braid. “He’s speakin’ with Pa and Ma now and he’ll be right as rain. You answered from the heart. In honesty. That was the wisest thing you could do.”

Lizbeth pulled a second pillow over her head. “Why did he ask me?” she whispered.

“Say that again?”

She nudged the pillow away. “I just don’t know why he asked me .”

“While I don’t know his reasonin’, I can only tell you what I think: I think he saw a young woman who was pretty and smart. And he wished to marry her.”

Lizbeth sniffled and sat up. “Then why do I feel so awful?”

Jayne touched her cheek. “Because it took you by surprise. When a girl thinks of a fella askin’ her to marry him, she hopes it’s her sweetheart. That the moment will answer the hopes she’s been savin’.”

Slowly Lizbeth nodded.

“And because you care to not hurt someone else’s feelings.”

Footsteps sounded on the stairs. Ma burst in, followed by the girls. “Lizbeth Bennet. How could you be so quarrelsome with your pa’s own cousin? A good man.”

She sat up. “Ma, I was as polite as I could be.”

“But you didn’t accept!”

“I couldn’t.”

“My headstrong girl.” Ma sank on the bed and clasped Lizbeth’s hands in her trembling ones. “Think of the chance this is. Think of the life he can give you. A good, steady future. No more whilin’ away your days fussin’ over those animals. This farm.”

“But Ma. This farm and those animals—they’re not a burden. This is home.”

“You gotta think differently.”

“Ma, I can’t. I can’t marry that man. I just wouldn’t be happy.”

“How do you even know what happiness is?”

“Because it’s what you and Pa and our family have given me. All my days.”

“That’s no reason to be overly romantic.”

“I’ve always known that in order to marry, it would have to be to someone I loved. Someone who understood me, and I him.”

“Oh, nonsense. We know enough of him to know it’s a good match.”

“For someone else, Ma, but not for me.” She needed a love that was built on respect.

Nothing less would do. She needed a man who, like her, had his heart wrapped up in the sunrise over the meadow and a conversation filled with wit and laughter.

Who understood why she cherished a soft muzzle against her hand as she sat atop the pasture fence.

None of which Reverend Coburn could offer, nor could she be the type of woman he sought.

Lizbeth squeezed her ma’s hand. “Please believe me. When it comes to happiness, I’ve had more than a body should, and when it comes to the future and where I’m to give my heart, I promise you—I’ll know it when I see it.”