Page 27 of The Healing Touch (Manwhore #3)

“Football is not God in an MC.” She smiled, and he let out a breath he wasn’t even aware he’d been holding. Relaxed, she’d be willing to talk this thing out between them.

“Then what is?”

“You don’t want to know.” She bit off a piece of bread and sighed. “These are good.”

“Told you so.” He picked up his container and inhaled the delicious aroma.

They ate quietly, and it was that comfortable silence he’d never found with any other woman. He simply enjoyed being in Becca’s presence. It had nothing to do with his dick and that bastard’s lust-filled thoughts. No, it was Becca. Her personality, her kindness, her wicked humor. She soothed him.

Becca took a few minutes to process everything he’d told her. Last night, they’d both agreed to not pursue this, or at least she thought he’d agreed. She had zero desire to get her heart shattered, but he seemed so earnest. What changed?

“Why did you decide you wanted a relationship with me?” She sipped at her bottle of water. “You don’t do relationships. It’s something you’re proud of, so what changed?”

“You.” He leaned back, absently rubbing the tops of his thighs.

“When you were just a voice on the phone or someone behind a text message, I never had to face my feelings. When you quit and I couldn’t get a hold of you, it was more than panic.

My world crashed. I hit the first plane I could catch, and when I came face to face with you, my body lit up like a firecracker.

Lust, Becca, hard and fast. I argued with myself so hard.

You were someone I couldn’t screw with because if I lost you, I wouldn’t recover. ”

“I think you lost that particular battle.”

He grinned his cheekiest grin. “I would lose a thousand battles if it meant I get to taste you again.”

She felt her cheeks warm. She didn’t normally blush at anything. Fucking asshole.

“When I pushed you and you pushed back, I tried again to stay away, to force the lust down, but it wouldn’t go away. I wanted you. You wanted me too. I saw it, but you were better at controlling it than I was.”

“Because I don’t want to get hurt, Dimitri.”

“I know.” He reached over and cupped her cheek. “You’re the last person I want to hurt, Krasivaya .”

“Is that why you ran when you realized how I felt?”

She studied the myriad of emotions flicking in his eyes, making them darken to an almost gray color.

He gave her that shy smile again. “For a writer, I’m having the hardest time putting this into words.

Yes, I ran from it. I’d already decided I wanted to see where things with us could go, but seeing your feelings right there in front of me…

it scared me. I knew we could both get hurt so badly if I couldn’t be the man you deserved.

So, I ran. I needed time to think, to talk to my dad. ”

“Your dad?”

Dimitri nodded. “Yeah, the old man is the only person whose advice I wanted. He and I talked for a long time. I told him all about you, about how much I love you, but I was afraid that it wasn’t the forever kind of love I write about, and at the same time, I was terrified it was that kind of love.

I wanted to know how he knew Mama was his. ”

“What did your dad say?” Becca had heard all about the whirlwind romance of his parents. It was what had inspired him to write in that particular genre.

“He asked me a simple question. Basically, how would I feel if I lost you?”

Becca worried her bottom lip as she waited for his answer. She was a little excited, but more nervous to hear how he felt. Part of her dreaded it, part of her hoped, but it was a tiny part.

“I gave it some serious thought.” His thumb rubbed gently against her cheek.

“I can’t imagine a world without you in it.

It nearly robbed me of breath imagining never hearing your voice or teasing you until you get riled enough to give me that sass of yours.

You’re the most important person in my world, Rebecca.

I do love you, and I want you here with me until my dying day.

So, you have to say yes, Becca. You have to. ”

“Say yes?”

“To us. I want you to give us a chance. To give our love the chance to be the epic kind of love. The Notebook kind of love. Will you do that?”

Asshole had to bring her favorite movie into it, didn’t he? How was she supposed to answer that?

“I don’t know, Dimitri. How can I trust you with everything I know about you?”

“You don’t know everything about me.” He leaned forward and kissed her, so softly his lips felt barely there. “And you need to know everything before you agree.” He sat back, and her trepidation escalated.

“I know all about your finicky stomach and its epic blowouts. What else is there?”

He laughed, but it was a little forced. Nervousness shone in his eyes. What the hell did he have to be nervous about?

“After we got back from the signing room and you were asleep, I went out to get us food and called Nik. I thought he might have some ideas of how I could help you because of Lily.”

“Lily?” Why would anything having to do with his brother’s fiancée help her?

“Lily has an extreme fear of being touched. She has panic attacks, like you do, when someone tries to get near her.”

“How does that work with the two of them?”

“It took Nikoli a long time to get her to trust him enough to relax her guard around him, to let him in, and to eventually touch her. He did what he does best, which is what I do best.”

“And that is?”

“Dominance.”

The breath went of her lungs. They simply froze, refused to work. He was one of those men who liked to do awful things to women? And little Nikoli, the sweetheart with the face of an angel, was the same? How had she missed that about them?

“Get your head out of the gutter, Rebecca.” Dimitri laughed. “I can only guess what you’re thinking.”

“Bondage, whips, chains, beatings…you name it, I’m thinking it.”

He laughed so loud it made her jump. “ Krasivaya , you do please me. So much.”

He was laughing at her? Enraged, she stood so fast she knocked the chair over, intending to march back into the room and lock his laughing ass out on the terrace. Instead, he caught her hand and tugged so she landed in his lap.

“Don’t run. I can’t chase you. My legs will give out.”

Becca ground her teeth. She wanted to hit him. Why had she never known this about him? Never even suspected it. She was not one of those women who was so insecure they’d let a man abuse her. Dammit, why did he have to be one of those men?

“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“How could I not know you were an abuser?”

“Abuser?” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “Did it feel like abuse in the bathroom?”

“No.”

“Then why do you think I’d abuse you? You know me better than that, Becca.”

The censure in his voice cut straight through her soul. What else was she supposed to think, though? He liked to dominate women.

“First, I don’t do the BDSM scene. Whips, chains, leather?

All that is nonsense. Some people like to use them, to roleplay, but I don’t.

I have no need to collar you, dress you in things you clearly won’t be comfortable in, or ever lay a hand on you intending physical harm.

That’s not me. It’s true, I like a little pain… ”

“See!” Becca reared back. “Pain, Dimitri. I don’t do pain the way you don’t do relationships.”

He stared at her, shocked she’d think he’d hurt her.

He knew where she was getting all these preconceived notions.

The market was flooded with books about BDSM relationships, relationships that would never be considered healthy anywhere except the pages of a work of fiction.

He agreed with Nikoli there. Their brand of dominance did not involve ever harming a woman.

“Let me finish before you jump to those conclusions of yours, will you?”

Her glare was hot enough to fry an egg on the Arizona pavement, but she nodded.

“Good girl. Now, I like a little pain, meaning me as the receiver. It’s why when you sank you nails into me this morning, I nearly fucked you then.

It sends my own lust out of control. Do I like to be hurt?

Fuck, no. Someone ever tries to come near me with a whip or cane, they won’t walk away from it.

I don’t do BDSM. But nails? Does me in every time. ”

“But you said you were dominant.” Accusation rolled off her tongue, and he leaned forward to kiss her lips lightly. They were adorable all puckered up in a pout. He couldn’t help himself.

“I am, but not the way you’re thinking about it. I do like control. I do like to have you bound, unmoving while I fuck you. Does that mean you won’t get the same satisfaction I do? I think you can answer that for yourself.”

The blush that sprang up was instantaneous. He loved the soft bloom of color. It was just something else about her he loved.

“Dimitri, I am not a submissive person. I…I won’t ever let someone control me.”

He sighed. She wasn’t seeing this the right way. “I don’t want to control you, Becca. I love you the way you are. I love your sass and that smart mouth. I love the way you fight back, the way you stand up to me and tell me what for. I would never change that.”

“But…”

“But nothing. Stop interrupting me and listen.” He waited for her nod before he continued. “I don’t want to control you , Becca, just situations.”

“Situations?”

He rolled his eyes. What about “stop interrupting me” did she not understand?

“You said you liked me challenging you, so don’t roll your eyes at me. I’m trying to understand.”

“You got me there.” He pulled her head down so it was resting against his chest and started to stroke her hair. “Situations. Simple things, really, like where to go to eat, what movie to watch, how I fuck you in the comfort of our own bedroom. See, nothing really too outrageous.”