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18

VANESSA

I woke up with a lazy yawn, my dreams having been vague but pleasant. Eyes still closed, I reached over, feeling for Leo. There was nothing quite like a sleepy, early-morning cuddle before my bladder got too insistent and I had to run inside to the upstairs bathroom. Unfortunately, the downstairs half-bath had been destroyed, along with the kitchen, my reading area, and part of my living room. There had been talk about getting a porta potty, but no one had gotten their hands on one yet. It certainly made things more complicated.

All thoughts of the bathroom fled my head as my hand found nothing but an empty space next to me. Brow furrowing, I patted this way and that, but no, Leo wasn’t there.

I finally rolled over, cracking my eyes open. I had to admit, I was quite disappointed to see his side of the bed was utterly empty, and when I rested my hand in the slight indentation his body had left on my mattress, it was cold.

Oh, well. It wasn’t entirely out of the ordinary for him to get up before I did. Shifters didn’t need as much sleep as humans. Still, I hurriedly threw on some appropriate clothes and headed out to find him. I couldn’t even be mad because if he was getting up at the crack of dawn, it meant he was taking the planning seriously, and that was all I’d asked of him.

When he’d first admitted he was going to hand himself over to Katarina, my heart had shattered into a million pieces. All of a sudden, the future I had begun to believe could be mine was gone in a puff of smoke. I couldn’t believe it. Thankfully, I’d gotten Leo to see reason.

“Hey, have you seen Leo?” I asked Tabitha as she came out of the bathroom.

“Uh, no, I can’t say that I have. But I only got up, like, twenty minutes ago.”

“Oh, that’s okay. No worries.”

In truth, I was starting to get worried.

I tried to keep myself calm as I went from group to group, but a sinking feeling grew in my gut with every person who hadn’t seen him. He wasn’t with Ricky. He wasn’t with the mercenaries. He wasn’t in the garden.

I asked every single shifter, which took me nearly an hour. When I knocked on the door of the last RV and the shifter inside said they hadn’t seen him since the night before, I came to a truly horrifying conclusion.

No, I had to be wrong. He’d promised me he wouldn’t do it.

He promised !

Hoping against all hope that I was wrong, I ran back to the greenhouse as if I would suddenly find him there. But there was no strapping alpha waiting for me. Only my cats and my mattress.

No.

No, no, no !

It was getting harder to deny by the second, and I sank to my knees, fighting off the urge to scream. I had to be wrong. I just had to.

My cats were all over me, sensing my heightened stress levels. Mudpie was head-butting my side, demanding attention, while Fork was sniffing around, no doubt trying to figure out what had upset me. Goober caught my attention. Or rather, the folded piece of paper tied in a loose ribbon around his neck.

It was a miracle it hadn’t fallen off as it was quite slack, but I took it with trembling hands and unfolded it. I knew what it had to be, and yet I didn’t want to believe it, even as I began to read the hastily scrawled words.

My darling Ven,

I am sorry to do this. I know what I promised, but I also know what I must do. I don’t need you to understand, but I do need you to keep yourself safe.

My entire life has been one of uncertainty and violence. Even before I had to fight the usurper who orphaned so many of us, I still faced challenges no child should have to go through. My life was not meant to be an easy one, and I’ve always known that.

Meeting you changed all that, my beautiful Vanessa, and nothing will ever take that away from us. You showed me things and gave me experiences many alphas can only ever dream of. I want you to rest easy knowing how much joy you brought me.

I know you struggle to see it in yourself, but I promise you, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’d do everything all over again as long as it ensured I met you. Your kindness. Your smile. I love all of it. And I carry it with me in my chest as I march to my end. I wish we could spend more time together, I do, because even a hundred years wouldn’t be enough.

I am so incredibly grateful for the time we’ve had.

I am madly in love with you, and I always will be. I know you think I’m giving up, but I’m not. I’m choosing life.

I’m choosing you.

If this one small thing will buy you a life of peace and happiness, it’s worth it. You’ll have the entire pack to protect you, to give you the community, the family, you’ve always been searching for.

I love you, Vanessa. And I always will love you. I know you’ll cry for me, but don’t let the sadness overwhelm you. You’ve given me the best time of my life.

With love,

Leo

I stared at the paper, turning it front to back as if it would change the words written on it. It stayed the same, and the cold, sinking realization of what was happening washed over me with a vengeance.

Leo was gone.

I screamed. Long and loud and with a feral brokenness that could only come from utter betrayal. He had promised me he would stay, that he would fight. Lots of people had broken their word to me over the years, but I never expected Leo to be one of them. Already my mind was zooming off, imagining what horrible torture that witch was putting the love of my life through. It wasn’t fair.

It just wasn’t fair.

Naturally, the pained sound tearing from my throat drew lots of attention, and Ricky burst through the door.

“Ven, what’s wrong?”

I brandished the letter like that would inform him of what was going on, but I certainly wasn’t going to let him read it.

“He’s gone.”

“Wait, who? What’s happening?”

Admittedly, my declaration wasn’t exactly very explanatory, but my voice raised even higher in irritation—or was it desperation?—when I replied again.

“Leo’s gone! He went to that fucking witch! He’s going to sacrifice himself for us.”

“He’s not!” Ricky shot back on instinct, and honestly, I couldn’t fault him for the denial, not after I’d run up the entire river. “This whole week he’s been...” But then his eyes finally focused on the letter, and all the air left his body at once. “Son of a bitch!”

He whirled, fist raised as if to punch out one of my windows, but he seemed to realize the destruction that would cause and pulled back at the last moment. Honestly, I didn’t even care if he shattered my windows. What did a greenhouse matter when the love of my life was marching to his death? I’d give it up, and every single plant I’d ever nurtured to life, to make sure Leo was safe.

A knock sounded on the opposite door of the greenhouse, and we both turned to see Andromeda and Tabitha there with blankets over their shoulders. They were still a bit frail but had largely returned to a much healthier size, and their skin didn’t look so ashen anymore. I was getting good at caring for shifters.

“Did we hear right?” Andromeda asked wearily. Although I was utterly devastated, I felt bad for her as well. She had only just been reunited with her alpha and still didn’t have all her memories back. To have him ripped away from her had to be like reopening the wounds that were only just beginning to close. “Leo’s gone to the witch?”

“Yeah, he has,” Ricky said. God, he sounded so broken.

“What do we do now?” Tabitha asked, sounding forlorn. It was like we were all being orphaned all over again, which was a crazy shared trauma to have.

It was too much heartbreak in such a small space, and suddenly, I was done. Done having things happen that were over my head, done being a damsel. I wasn’t going to allow Leo to sacrifice himself, and that was that.

“Gather everyone up,” I said, surprised at the steel in my voice. “Get them all out front.”

“Why? Are you going to announce it to all of them?” Ricky asked.

I was uncharacteristically short when I answered, but every second was precious. “Ricky, just get everyone. We don’t have a ton of time.”

I was grateful when no one argued with me, and the three of them hurried off. They assembled everyone quite quickly. I stared out at the small sea of faces as I stood on the steps of my greenhouse, marveling that they were all here because we’d chosen to stand up against what was wrong. It hadn’t been an easy path, not at all. But the pain, the loss… it was all worth it. Because we were all safe. And it made no sense for that safety not to extend to the man who had sacrificed so much already. Leo might be ready for his life to end, but I wasn’t.

“As I’m sure all of you have heard by now, or maybe even surmised on your own, Leo has taken Katarina’s offer of his life in exchange for all of ours. He is buying our salvation with his blood.

“So, for those of you who wish to honor that, you are free to go live your lives. Free to have the peace that he’s bought with his flesh. I won’t hold it against you.” It was hard to say those words, but it was true. If we wanted to go up against the most powerful witch, I could only have people who were one thousand percent sure they were where they wanted to be. No wishy-washing. No one who felt pressured.

“But those of you who are like me, who aren’t willing to let him die alone and in pain at the hand of someone who knows her sons were in the wrong, it’s our time to help Leo.”

“What do we do?” someone in the crowd asked, and I understood their trepidation. Even with my limited understanding of magic, I had felt Katarina’s awe-inspiring power. She’d destroyed my house without so much as blinking, which was telling of what she could do to simple flesh and bone.

“We fight. I don’t know the specifics yet, but I’m sure if we all put our heads together and call on every single ally who’s willing to join the fight, I’m willing to bet we could beat the odds. Again. A month ago, many people would have told us we were insane for trying to go after the brothers, but we defeated them. I believe we can do that again.”

Murmurs erupted throughout the people gathered, and I left them to it as I headed to the house. There had to be maps or literature or something I could rustle up from the debris. I would see who chose to join us eventually, but I wanted everyone to make their choice out from under my watchful eye. Again, the whole pressure thing.

I wasn’t worried. Leo had made his choice, sure, but I’d made mine.

And it was time for one last plan.