Page 120 of The Haunting of Paynes Hollow

“You’re angry. I understand that.”

I sputter a laugh. “Angry? No, Mom. I’m fucking furious. I’m a broken fucking mess, thanks to you, and the only satisfaction I’m going to get is imagining you wasting away in whatever shitty care facility your insurance will cover.”

“You can’t do this,” she says, her voice low with warning. “I’m your mother. Someone will make you—”

“Pay for your care? Uh, no. You aren’t a child. I don’t owe you shit. But if you want to try, you can sue me for it. Tell the nurses I’m leaving. Send someone to force me to pay. It won’t work—I’ve consulted with two lawyers—but if you want to try, go for it. Just know that if you do, I’ll be forced to retaliate.”

“With what?”

I smile at her. “Oh, I have a few cards, and they’re all aces. Just remember this—whatever place they put you, it’ll be better than what will happen if I play those cards and show the world what kind of person you really are.”

I’m bluffing, but the rising fury in her eyes tells me I’ve pulled it off.

I head for the door.

“Samantha Jane, don’t you dare—”

“Bye, Mom. Remember that I loved you. That Dad loved you. And for his sake, I hope you get everything you deserve.”

That evening, as the sun sets, I make one last stop. I’ve left my aunt’s car at her condo, with the keys in it, and Ben and I drove here in his pickup. It’s a piece of junk, but we’ll replace it soon enough. We’llneed something better for the next part of our plan. For now, we’ve done everything we needed to do, settled our affairs, and stuffed our bank accounts full of cash.

Ben parks the pickup and gets out, but he stays behind as I walk, my arms full of flowers, to kneel at the headstone beside my grandfather’s.

At my father’s grave.

I lay the flowers down and touch my fingers to the marble. I’ve never visited before. If there was a service, we weren’t invited. My grandfather handled all that.

“Hey, Dad,” I say, as my eyes fill. “Sorry it took me so long.”

My voice catches, and I let the tears fall.

After a moment, I continue, “I want to apologize for all the rest, too. For not believing you. For telling Mom what I saw. For listening to the lies. But if you were here, you’d say none of that was my fault. I’m going to try—really try—to lay the blame where it belongs. On Mom and on Craig Smits. I can still wish…”

My throat clogs, more tears falling. “I’ll try not to do that either. Wishing won’t fix anything, and you’d want me to move on. That’s what I’m going to try to do.”

I shift, getting comfortable. “I’m going on a road trip. Remember how you and I always talked about that? When I graduated from high school, we’d drive around the country all summer. Just the two of us. Well, that’s what I’m doing, and I’m sorry it’s not with you, but I won’t be alone. Remember Ben Vandergriff? He’ll be with me.”

I laugh softly, as if hearing my dad’s reply. “No, not like that. We’re just friends. I don’t know if it’ll ever be more, but for now, what we both need is a friend. We’re…” I swallow. “We’re broken, Dad. Both of us. We’ve spent years pretending we aren’t, and we need to stop pretending and deal with it. Deal with what happened fourteen years ago. Deal with what happened this summer. We’re going to do that together, because no one should do it alone.”

I swallow and force a smile. “We’re going to adopt a dog, too. Remember how you always wanted to do that, but Mom hated pets? Ben and I are hitting the shelter later. Adding another stray to our little pack.”

I press my fingers to the gravestone, tears running down my face. “I’m sorry you faced those last moments alone. I’m sorry you faced your own fears and worries alone. You tried to protect us, and you died for it, and I am so,sosorry. I love you. Love you so damn much.”

I lean forward until my forehead touches the cool marble, and I just sit like that for a few minutes, thinking and regretting and promising. Then I say my goodbyes, rise, and walk to the pickup. Ben silently opens the passenger door for me, and I climb in, and as we drive away, I watch my father’s grave until it disappears behind us.