Page 5 of The Hang Up (Lilac Harbor #3)

FIVE

Lena

I wake up with a knot in my stomach and a scream caught in my throat.

The dream still lingers, warm and sweet and entirely unwelcome. It was one of those dreams that felt too real, the kind that clings to your skin like honey, sticky and impossible to shake. Holden was there, smiling at me like he used to. His hand brushing my cheek, his lips whispering “forever.”

It made my chest ache in the worst way. I hate him. I hate that even my subconscious won’t give me a break. As if I haven’t been carrying enough lately, now I have to carry this, too.

I groan and throw off the covers, blinking up at the ceiling of my tiny, too-hot bedroom. The fan clicks as it turns, the steady whirring a little too loud this morning.

The ache behind my eyes tells me I didn’t sleep nearly enough.

I pad down the hall, my socked feet silent on the hardwood floor. The smell of menthol ointment hits me before I even reach the kitchen. My mom’s already up, sitting at the table with a mug of tea, her knit shawl draped around her thin shoulders like armor.

“You’re up early,” I murmur, forcing my voice to sound soft, pleasant. Not tired. Not frayed at the edges.

She grunts, not looking up from her crossword. “Didn’t sleep much.”

I nod, moving toward the cabinets to grab a mug. I already know the rest of her pills are sitting on the counter, lined up neatly beside the toaster. Morning meds, mid-morning meds, afternoon meds. Her life measured in tiny doses and prescription bottles.

“Did you eat anything?” I ask, glancing at the untouched plate of toast beside her.

“Not hungry.”

“You have to eat with your pills,” I remind her gently.

Another grunt.

I don’t push.

I make myself a cup of coffee, standing by the sink as I sip it, letting the heat burn the bitter taste from my mouth. It doesn’t help because he’s still in my head.

Holden.

His laugh, the one that lit up entire rooms. The way he looked at me like I was made of stardust and magic. The promise he made in the letter I’ve stupidly kept for too many years.

You’re it for me, Lena. You always have been. You always will be.

What a joke.

I scrub a hand over my face and pour the rest of my coffee down the sink. The knot in my chest is growing, twisting tighter with every second. It seems like no matter where I go, he’s there.

I saw him at the hardware store yesterday when I was picking up supplies to fix the leaky faucet in the bathroom.

He was standing in the next aisle, holding a bucket and talking to some old guy about water sealant.

I ducked behind a shelf of paint cans like a coward, my heart thundering in my chest.

Two days before that, I spotted him near the lake, walking with his hands in his pockets like he wasn’t the embodiment of my heartbreak.

He paused to look out at the water, and for a second, I almost stopped, too.

Almost asked him if he remembered all the nights we snuck out to sit on the dock until the sun rose.

And there was the time I saw him talking to Wade outside the diner. The two of them were laughing like they were still kids, like nothing had changed.

But everything has changed.

I’m tired of feeling haunted. I’m tired of seeing him everywhere. It’s like the whole town is conspiring against me, throwing him in my path at every turn, daring me to break.

I won’t.

I won’t let him in. I won’t let him win.

“I’m heading to work,” I call over my shoulder as I grab my purse and keys.

“Have fun,” Mom says, barely glancing away from the TV screen.

“What are you doing today?” I ask, keeping my voice light.

“I need to pick up my prescription.”

“I can do that, Mom,” I offer.

“No. No, I’ve got it.”

“Okay, well, let me know if you change your mind. I can swing by after work and grab it.”

“Okay.” She waves dismissively.

I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly as I head out. Stepping outside, I pull my coat tighter against the morning chill. The air smells like autumn, like fallen leaves and the promise of winter around the corner. The sky is soft and gray, heavy with unshed rain.

I walk. It’s only six blocks to Clay & Cupcakes, but it feels longer today.

Maybe it’s the heaviness in my chest or the way my boots seem to drag with every step, but by the time I make it to the town square, I’m already out of breath and out of patience.

And of course, he’s there.

Standing by the fountain like he belongs there, like this isn’t a coordinated attack by the universe. His hands are in the pockets of his jacket, his dark eyes scanning the street like he’s looking for something… or someone.

His gaze lands on me, and I swear he lights up.

I want to punch something.

“Lena!” he calls out, stepping toward me.

I put my head down and keep walking, but he jogs to catch up, falling into step beside me like we’re old friends on a stroll.

“Can we talk?” he asks, breathless.

“No,” I snap, not even looking at him.

“Just five minutes?—”

“I said no!”

He stops walking, and so do I, because I can’t hold it in anymore. We’re standing in the middle of the town square, and I know people are watching, but I don’t care. I’ve been holding this in for too long, and I’m so damn tired.

“You don’t get to do this,” I hiss, turning to face him. “You don’t get to walk back into town and act like nothing happened, like we didn’t have a life planned. Like you didn’t just disappear and never look back!”

His mouth opens, but I barrel on.

“You left me, Holden! You left without even saying goodbye. No note. No explanation. Just gone. Do you know what that did to me?”

He flinches like I hit him, but I don’t stop.

“I spent months waiting. Wondering what I did wrong. Thinking maybe I wasn’t enough. That maybe if I had loved you harder, you would’ve stayed.”

His hands clench at his sides, his eyes glassy.

“And then you show up again like some ghost from the past, popping up everywhere I go, and for what? You want a second chance? You want me to forget all the nights I cried myself to sleep?”

“Lena—”

“No!” I yell, my voice cracking. “You don’t get to say my name like that anymore. You don’t get to look at me like I’m still yours.”

He swallows hard, his jaw tight. “I never stopped?—”

“Don’t,” I whisper, shaking my head. “Don’t say you never stopped loving me. Don’t say you missed me. Because if you did, you would’ve called. You would’ve written. You would’ve done something.”

“I was trying to be better for you,” he says quietly. “I thought I had to prove myself. I thought leaving was the only way.”

“Well, you thought wrong,” I snap, my vision blurry with unshed tears. “Because the only thing you proved was that when it mattered most, you weren’t there.”

A long silence stretches between us, thick with everything we’ve never said.

I take a shaky breath and step back. My voice is softer now, but no less firm. “I survived without you. I built a life. I don’t need you anymore, Holden.”

He nods slowly, his eyes shining. “I know. I know you don’t.”

And somehow, that hurts even more.

I turn and walk away, my legs trembling. By the time I round the corner and Clay & Cupcakes comes into view, my heart is racing and my hands won’t stop shaking.

Auden and Arlowe are standing out front, holding coffee cups and talking quietly. They see me, and their expressions instantly shift.

“Hey,” Auden says softly. “Are you okay?”

I nod once. “Yeah. Just tired.”

Lie.

They exchange a glance but don’t push.

I brush past them, unlock the door, and head inside. The familiar scent of sugar and freshly brewed espresso hits me like a balm, but it doesn’t soothe the ache in my chest.

I hang up my coat, wash my hands, and start prepping the dough for the morning pastries. My hands move automatically, measuring, mixing, and kneading, but my mind is elsewhere.

Still stuck in the town square. Still echoing with the sound of my voice breaking. Still seeing the way Holden looked at me like I’d torn his heart out of his chest.

Maybe I did, but he tore mine out first.

I set the dough aside to rise and line the muffin tins, willing myself to focus. To breathe.

The bell over the door jingles, and customers trickle in. I plaster on a smile, take their orders, and pretend that nothing has changed.

But everything has.

I yelled at Holden. I let it all out—the pain, the rage, the heartbreak.

And now… now I don’t know what comes next.