Page 16 of The Governess and the Rogue (Somerset Stories #6)

Chapter Fourteen

B ea inhaled an astonished breath. She didn’t know why she was surprised.

Jack’s intention had been clear from the moment he’d bent his head to hers.

But it hadn’t seemed real, for all that.

Here beneath the stars, with the sea lapping below, and the deck rolling gently beneath her feet.

Indeed, it all felt rather too much like a dream.

Until Jack’s lips captured hers.

That was when she started. For there was nothing dreamlike about his kiss. It was warm and firm, and unmistakably real.

Bea stood there, for an instant—the barest instant—feeling time stand still between them. She was stricken by a sensation of utter disbelief. Too stunned to protest, too flustered to move.

And then her mouth trembled beneath his, her lips parting on a breathless word. To her consternation, that word wasn’t stop.

“Jack,” she whispered.

He curved his hand around her neck in answer, kissing her again.

This time, Bea kissed him back.

Jack made a low sound in his throat as his mouth shaped to hers, returning her kiss. Deepening it.

Another tremor went through Bea’s frame. It had nothing to do with the weather.

Gracious.

He was good at this. Doubtless he’d done it before. The thought entered her head only to leave it a split second later, lost amid the rush of sensation inspired by his warmth, his touch, his breath.

Her knees quaked. She brought her hands to his chest to steady herself.

She couldn’t recall if they’d ever been this close before.

She was certain she’d have remembered it if they had.

He was so devastatingly tall and solid. So relentlessly male.

His very nearness was intoxicating to her; the heat of his body, the breadth of his shoulders, the fragrance of his cologne.

Good heavens.

Had she wished for this?

She didn’t know for certain. All she knew was that being in his company for the past three days, pretending to be his devoted fiancée, had taken an unaccountable toll. The pantomime had eaten away at her restraint. Had played havoc with her heart. Her soul.

How could she look at him hour upon hour, talk with him, dine with him, be the recipient of his many gentlemanly considerations, and not be moved by it all? She was not, after all, made of stone.

Her fingers curled into the fabric of his wool coat. She realized, with vague alarm, that she was clinging to him. All but embracing him.

He didn’t embrace her in return, but his fingers were a hot brand at her neck, making her heartbeat gallop as wildly as a horse bolting from the too-restrictive confines of its stable.

“A bit awkward,” Jack murmured against her mouth.

Bea stiffened. “Me?”

He stroked her nape. “Not you. This .” He gave a humorless chuckle. “Me.”

Bea drew back from him a fraction, incredulous. “You call this awkward?”

“I do,” he said. “I’m not accustomed to—” He stopped, uttering another wry huff. “I haven’t been with anyone like this since I fell at Mohammerah.”

Bea began to understand. She searched his face. “You mean… you haven’t kissed anyone since your injury?”

Jack’s expression betrayed a flicker of bitterness.

“It occurs to me that it might be easier sitting down. For one thing, I could dispense with this.” He shot a dark glance at his cane.

“For another…” His eyes returned to hers.

The bitterness was gone. In its place was a gleam of gentle amusement.

“You might be in less danger of falling into a swoon.”

Heat rose in Bea’s cheeks. Her hands fell from his chest, leaving his coat creased where she’d clenched it with her fingers. “I was not in danger of swooning,” she informed him.

He smiled. “No? I must have been mistaken.”

She stepped back forcing his hand to fall from her neck. “I daresay you’re used to ladies swooning when you kiss them.”

“If they didn’t,” he said, “I’d think myself a very dull fellow indeed.”

Bea snorted. “Vanity, thy name is Beresford.”

“Just as I warned you. But it wasn’t?—”

“What wasn’t it?” she asked, cutting him off.

Jack’s expression grew serious. “I’m not a scoundrel, Bea.”

“No?” She touched the soft cashmere of her shawl. Never in her life had she possessed anything so fine. “Then, that kiss… It wasn’t payment for this?”

A frown darkened his gaze. “Is that what you think of me?”

“What else should I think? In one breath you give me an expensive gift. In another you kiss me. The two events?—”

“Are mutually exclusive,” he said. “I beg your pardon for the offense, but…” He smiled again with quicksilver humor. “You must allow that the inducement was extraordinary.”

Bea’s eyes narrowed. She had never considered herself a temptation before. Let alone one that was impossible to resist. “I’m not much of an inducement.”

“You are to me,” Jack said.

She took a step back from him. It was one thing to be kissed by a gentleman. It was quite another to be teased by him. “You don’t mean that.”

“Why wouldn’t I mean it? I’ve been in company with you a great deal since we became engaged?—”

“We’re not?—”

“We are ,” he said. “And I enjoy being with you. Anyone would.”

Bea shook her head. The farther she moved away from him, the more swiftly reality returned to her. She couldn’t be doing this. Kissing him. Wanting him. Daring to dream that they might?—

No.

She wouldn’t allow herself to follow that thread. It could lead to only one destination. And it wasn’t the marriage altar. It was directly to her own ruination.

“You don’t know me, Jack,” she said.

“But I do,” he said. “I know that you’re daring. I know that you’re loyal. That you have a keen sense of justice. That you loved your mother. I know that you make wishes on stars.”

A lump formed in Bea’s throat. “I wasn’t aware you were keeping a catalog.”

“And you’re not?”

“It’s not the same,” she said.

Jack was something worth knowing. A gentleman of importance. Of wealth, property, and pedigree. While, she…

“In any event,” she added brusquely, “it hardly matters. We’ve nearly reached Marseilles. In but a few more days, we shall arrive in England and go our separate ways. I shan’t ever see you again. Unless?—”

“Unless you’d like to see me again,” Jack suggested.

Bea’s brows lowered. “I was going to say, unless I should happen to be employed by a near neighbor of yours.”

“Ah.” Jack’s smile faded. “Now that might be awkward.”

“And we don’t want that,” Bea said. “Better we should keep to our agreement in public.”

“What about in private?” he asked.

“We must be friends,” she said. “And nothing more.”

“And friends don’t kiss friends, presumably,” he said.

“Not like that.”

“I see. What about gifts? Can a friend give his friend a shawl?”

Bea’s throat constricted. The answer was no. Not if that friend was a gentlemen friend, and not if the recipient was an unmarried young lady.

But they’d already bent some of the rules. Surely it could do no harm to bend them a little more in this respect?

“I suppose a friend could,” she said slowly. “But only as you described earlier.”

“I can’t recall what I described,” Jack replied frankly. “Everything before I kissed you is somewhat of a blur.”

Heat crept into Bea’s cheeks. “You called it costuming for my role,” she reminded him.

Jack leaned more heavily on his cane. “So I did.”

“Which means I may wear it for the remainder of our journey, but…” Bea hesitated to utter the words. She wanted so badly to keep her present. “But… I must return it to you when we part.”

Jack accepted her judgment as though he’d been expecting it. “Very well. If that’s how you prefer it.”

It wasn’t how Bea preferred it. But what could she say? More to the point, what could she do? A governess had only her reputation to recommend her. Without that, she had nothing.

No. There was no more to be said.

She glumly permitted Jack to accompany her back to her stateroom. They didn’t speak again. Not on any topics worth mentioning. He remarked on the weather, and the calmness of the sea, filling up the silence until he deposited her safely at the door of her cabin.

Only then did he look at her, addressing her with uncommon seriousness. “You never told me which of your wishes came true,” he said.

“No, I didn’t,” Bea replied as she opened her door.

And she never would.