Page 83 of The Good Girl Effect

“I wouldn’t do that,” I say, not entirely sure it’s true.

“I know you wouldn’t,” she replies sweetly. “I’m sure you and Julian will work this out. I know how much you want to moveback here, but I also know you don’t want to leave it like this. So you’ll figure it out. You always do.”

“Thanks,” I mumble, scratching my brow. This conversation has left me even more unsettled than I already was.

In the background, I hear a gentle voice asking something.

“Jade wants to know if you got the dresses for Bea,” she says, changing the subject.

“Uh…yes,” I reply, although to be honest, I’m not entirely sure. I haven’t been present enough in my own home to know whether or not the gifts from my family have arrived. “Tell her thank you,” I add.

“I will,” my mother replies.

Another round of guilt assaults me as I think about how distant I’ve been from them all—my parents and my littlest sister, Scarlett. I didn’t just turn into a ghost at my own home. I stopped existing everywhere.

I grew up in such a happy, lively home, and I’m an asshole for depriving Bea of that. Up until I was seven, it was just me and my mom. She worked full-time, and still, she was so present. Those years were happy.

Then she got married to Jade and Clay, giving me not just another mom but a dad too. I had three parents, and I can’t even give my daughter one.

Camille is trying to coax me back into Bea’s life, and I just have to stop fighting it. Then maybe Bea can call for me when she’s hurt. I’ll be the one tucking her in at night. I’ll be there in the morning when she wakes up.

Even I know I don’t need to move back home to have that. I don’t even need to stop grieving my wife.

“You still there, baby?” my mother asks on the other end of the line.

“Yeah, but I’m about to go into work. I need to have a meeting with Julian.”

“Good,” she replies, sounding pleased. “I love you very much.”

“I love you too,” I say.

After I hang up the phone, I don’t move. Maybe it was this new revelation about Julian, or maybe it was the way it felt last night with Camille, but a new sense of energy flows through me.

I’ve been drowning for years, sinking too deep to try and swim out of it all. For the first time in my life, I realize I can turn it all around. I don’t have to drown anymore.

With that, I take a very long, deep breath, and I walk inside.

Rule #28: It’s okay to smile again.

Jack

The club is empty and quiet during the day. As I pass through toward the second-level stairs, I hear Weston doing inventory behind the bar. Amelia is shuffling around with some sort of bright pink fabric draped over her arms. Somewhere in the building, I know my sister and Phoenix are hard at work too. I pause, admiring how dedicated they all are to this place.

They took Ronan’s message to heart. They’re not just trying to survive the year; they’re working to make Legacy even better than Salacious.

It’s time I did the same.

The club has three levels. The street level, which Matis and Ronan purchased about ten years ago, used to be a restaurant. They’ve since transformed it into a nightclub that hides the one below.

The basement level of the club is where the old club, L’Amour, got its start. It has surprisingly tall ceilings and an open, airy vibe for a place hidden underground.

One floor above the street level club is where we have our meeting spaces and offices. There are also rooms up there that are good for private events and parties.

Reaching the second level, I walk down the hall, passing the offices until I reach Julian’s. He’s sitting behind the desk, his feet propped up on the surface. His attention is on the computer until he notices me standing in his space. Then he freezes and glares at me expectantly.

“Can we talk?” I ask.

I watch the light leave his eyes and his shoulders tense. “Sure.”