Page 22

A s I set off on the drive home, I turned over Adam’s parting words. My stubborn desire to let Tom stew didn’t change the fact that I understood his concerns about Isabel and Nicholas – until recently, they’d been my concerns, too. The difference was, now I knew them better, they didn’t feel like vamps to me. They were cultured and in control – it didn’t make my skin crawl to be near them.

Tom relied too heavily on my extra sense. Jon had too. And okay, I was telling him something that went against everything he knew – apparently out of the blue – but all I was asking for was a little more trust.

I parked outside the dark house and let myself in, intending to call Tom and ask him to come over as soon as I had my boots off. It was a conversation that needed to be had in person. But to my surprise, I found him in the darkness, feet propped on the sofa arm, the blue glow of his phone screen casting harsh shadows across his face. I switched on a lamp.

He set his mobile on the coffee table with deliberate care, fixing me with a sharp look. “I had to come back at some point. ”

“I’m glad you did.” I twisted my hands together. “We need each other. I need you here.” The words tumbled out before I could stop them. He stared at me, and I worried he might shout again.

“Before you start, just let me talk?” I pleaded, trying to head him off.

Eventually, he nodded, looking around. “You’ve been with them , I suppose?”

I sat down, pulling off my scarf and gloves.

“Yes, but I need you to listen. And…” Since bribery might ease him up a bit, I pulled the diaries from my satchel. “I brought these.”

Tom’s hand reached for the books before he could stop himself, curiosity winning over anger. “Journals? Whose?”

“Murray’s.” I leaned forward slightly. “Now, will you listen?”

“Okay.” His fingers traced the worn spines as he flicked through them, handling them carefully so the loose pages didn’t fall out. As far as I’d been able to tell, I’d brought the earliest ones, though they didn’t all have dates. I doubted we’d find anything about our French friend in them, but I figured it was best to start from the beginning if I wanted to understand Nicholas – and learn to forgive him. I didn’t mention that part to Tom.

It had occurred to me on the way home that our friendship could benefit from more honesty. So, settling into my seat, I prepared to tell him everything. Really everything, this time. From Maggie’s murder to the unknown woman who’d died tonight. I recounted every conversation I’d had with the vampires he hated and what they’d said – at least, as much as I could remember. More importantly, I explained what I’d understood from it. It was everything I had, and I laid it all out on the table. Now it was Tom’s too.

As I spoke, Tom’s shoulders gradually lost their rigid set. He set the diaries aside, finally meeting my eyes. My voice had grown hoarse by the time I finished, but the tight set of his jaw told me he was still struggling.

“Well?” I asked, as the minutes of silence stretched out.

He leaned back in his seat and folded his arms stubbornly. “Alright,” he said mildly. “I have some questions.”

I didn’t hesitate. “Ask away.”

“Do you trust them?” he asked. “I mean, actually trust them. Because it all comes back to that, doesn’t it?”

“I do,” I answered without thinking. “Isabel saved your life.”

He eyeballed me. “Which is precisely why I ask. What better way to get you to trust them than to make sure I don’t bleed to death on your floor?”

I wanted to deny it outright. If Tom could remember how she’d helped him, he’d understand. But he couldn’t, and I needed more than just my own conviction.

“Wyatt’s been around for a long time,” he added. “She probably understands human nature better than almost anyone alive and could manipulate even the most sceptical of people.” His hard stare didn’t waver. “I want to know why you think she saved me. Don’t you wonder what her motive is?”

“Maybe,” I said eventually, weighing my words. “And maybe it wasn’t concern for you. She could have been trying to gain my trust. But… it worked,” I shrugged. “You know how I feel about vamps, Tom. And you’ve always had enough faith in me to take my word for it, that there are… things we can’t explain.” I took a deep breath, phrasing myself carefully.

“I’m asking you to trust me now. Yes, I’m pushing my luck, big time, but… I don’t know. She doesn’t feel evil to me – not anymore.” I paused, thinking about it. “I’m not sure she ever did.”

“Being near her – and Nicholas too – it doesn’t make me want to peel off my skin the way being near other vampires does. It’s hard to explain.” I pursed my lips. “They’re… evolved.”

Yes . It was the word I’d been looking for, for days.

“So, maybe she knew I’d trust her if she proved herself. But she came back the next night of her own accord, knowing how hostile you’d be, just to make sure you were okay. That tells me a lot, too.”

Tom’s expression softened slightly. I hadn’t won him over, but at least I’d reminded him why he trusted my judgement.

“Second question,” he began. “How much of this shiny new approach has to do with your feelings about Murray?”

I grimaced, staring at the woven pattern of the rug between my feet. It was the one thing I hadn’t shared specifics about, and somehow my careful effort to avoid the topic had been wasted.

“I don’t know how to feel about what I feel,” I said truthfully. “But I know they’re not involved in what’s been going on. It was a long shot from the start – you know that as well as I do. It was too obvious. It never made the sense I wanted it to.”

I tucked my feet underneath me, aware of the winter chill seeping through the house. Tom watched me through guarded eyes, his shoulders still tight.

“Then on top of that…” I sighed. “Nicholas and I have a complicated relationship. I need to know more about his past before I can work it out.”

“So you admit something’s going on? And when I asked you yesterday, you lied about it?” His voice was still calm, but I could sense we were getting to the source of his anger.

“You didn’t give me much of a chance to explain myself.” I tried not to sound too defensive.

“Because you’re in love with a vampire !” He barely raised his voice, but I jumped anyway.

“I never said that!” I snapped back, trying to collect myself. “I don’t know, alright?” I put my head in my hands, massaging my temples with my fingertips. I could feel a headache coming on.

“It doesn’t matter if I am or not. The best chance we’ve got is to work with them,” I said, eyes still closed. “Look at the diaries, for crying out loud. I’d bet there’s enough in one to condemn Nicholas; probably Isabel too – and from what I saw earlier, there are hundreds more.” I looked up at him. “They’re not trying to deny the past. They know what they are, and what they’ve done. We have to get over that.”

“Erin,” he stared at me. “I miss Jonathan as much as you do. We were a team.” He took a deep breath. “But his life didn’t mean more than the lives of the hundreds of others those two have killed. They’re helping us now – but it doesn’t mean they’re forgiven for all that they’ve done before— ”

“That’s not what I’m saying—”

“Let me finish,” he retorted. “You might be right, they’re reformed. Maybe they’ll never kill again. That’s still a big chance to take. They’re not human; their limits are different to ours – it’s in their nature. Not to mention, they’ve got eternity to change their minds.”

I shook my head at him. “You could say that about anyone. Anyone could snap.”

“Most of us aren’t predisposed to it.”

He was right. But it wasn’t enough of a reason.

I watched him, sitting there. He was still shaky. Recovering. His skin hadn’t regained its usual warmth, and I hadn’t even asked how he was.

He wasn’t the Tom I knew and loved. Fear and suspicion had carved a deep line between his brows, and I got it. I really did. I’d always been the more open minded of the two of us, and even I had never thought about any of this in shades of grey… But if he couldn’t give them a chance, more people were going to get hurt. I needed my friend back more than anything, but he’d have to see it for himself to believe it. And he just wasn’t there yet.

I sighed and put my head in my hands again, staring at the floor.

“One more question.”

I looked up.

“Say all of this works. We figure out who the killer is. You hunt them down, take them out. Then what?”

“What do you mean?” I asked. This couldn’t be as simple a question as he was making it out to be.

“Isabel, Adam and… Nicholas.” He pulled a face as he spoke the name. “Are they staying? The number of vamps in this city’s been decent for years, thanks to you. With two more in the city – that can only last so long.”

I wasn’t buying his innocent act for a second. If I was honest, I didn’t have an answer. Everything I’d learned tonight about how vampirism spread made it worse – sure, Isabel and Nicholas could control their feeding, but anyone they sired, intentionally or not, might not be so careful. And when I tried to picture myself turning against them… my chest twisted painfully. I couldn’t do it.

I sighed. “I don’t know, Tom. I haven’t given it much thought. I’m taking the days one at a time.”

“You don’t seem to have thought much about any of the tough questions.”

“Please don’t be like that.” I rubbed at my temples, fighting the headache. “I’m trying to talk this out with you, and you’re jumping down my throat.” When he just stared back stonily, I threw up my hands. “Can’t we deal with the problem that’s affecting us right now and worry about everything else later?”

“What if later, we’re not around to worry about it?” He raised an eyebrow. “We might go into this together – if you get your way, and you usually do – but there’s no guarantee we survive. Who’s going to make sure your precious new vamp friends are under control after?”

“Is this a jealousy thing?” The words came out sharper than I intended. “Are you mad because I made other friends? ”

“I’m angry,” Tom’s voice dropped dangerously low, “because your new friends have centuries of murderous history as baggage, Erin. That’s not easy to take when you prefer to spend time with them than with me.”

“You’re not exactly being the greatest friend right now,” I said evenly.

He glared at me for a minute and abruptly stood.

“I trust you, Erin. But them? Not a bloody chance. I’ll help because I have to, but don’t think for a second I’m keeping quiet about it after.”