Page 56 of The Girls in the Snow

Amy closed her eyes.

“You don’t want him here?” Nikki asked, sensing that John’s presence was the last thing Amy wanted.

“I don’t need a lecture from him,” she replied.

“I’m sure he’s going to be happy you’re all right.”

Amy’s cold gaze met hers. “You don’t know him at all.”

“He’s not going to be happy you’re all right?” Marital problems and stress aside, Nikki couldn’t see John being that callous, especially now.

“I’m not discussing my marriage with you.” Amy walked shakily to her vanity unit.

“You’re grieving an unimaginable loss,” Nikki said. “It’s understandable that you’re having a tough time, and you and John should be able to console one another. No one else will feel the loss like you do. You’re lucky to have one another.”

Amy stared at her reflection, tears welling in her eyes. Her small body shook as she sobbed. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“Carry on.” The words came out harsher than Nikki intended. The woman’s grief was contagious, and Nikki’s heart ached for the two girls and their families.

Amy stared at her. “Carry on? That’s it?”

“Yes, uncaring as it sounds. We have no other choice when bad things happen. And you have a little boy who loves and needs you.”

“What if I can’t get it together for him? I don’t want to get lost in grief and fail him.”

“Then don’t,” Nikki said. “Go to grief counseling. Take Bailey with you. Use every resource available to help you both heal.”

Amy reached for a box of tissue and dried her tears. “Why did you come over in the first place? Is there news?”

Nikki didn’t want to set her off again, but she had to know the truth. “I came here to ask you why you visited Kaylee’s house a few weeks before the girls disappeared.” Amy turned back to the mirror and started brushing her wild hair. “You told me you didn’t know where she lived.”

Amy stiffened and turned around to face Nikki for a moment. “I asked her to stay away from Madison. She was a bad influence.”

“How so?”

“She got kicked off the volleyball team for fighting. She skipped school. I didn’t want Maddie around that.” She turned back around to continue with her hair.

“And what did Kaylee say when you asked her to leave Madison alone?”

“She said no,” Amy replied. “She had the gall to tell me I couldn’t buy everything in life. Like she was some sort of expert on relationships.”

“Did Madison know you did this?”

Amy yanked the brush through her hair, her hand trembling. “Kaylee said she wouldn’t tell her, as though she were giving me some sort of leniency. I was just trying to protect Madison. All it takes is one bad friend.” The hairbrush hit the vanity hard enough to rattle the perfume bottles. Amy put her head in her hands. “I still can’t believe this is happening.”

“I know,” Nikki said.

Amy’s bloodshot gaze met hers. “How did you do it?”

Nikki tried to mask the wave of pain that swept through her. “I did everything wrong. I tried to block everything out and get through school so I could leave. I shut out my friends. I learned to compartmentalize—to a fault. Don’t do things my way. Find a grief counselor and a group. There are several in the city. I can give you some referrals.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Mrs. Banks,” Nikki said. “I want to find out who did this, but I can’t if you don’t tell me everything.”

“I have.” Amy took a deep breath. “Thank you for everything. Will you please send Bailey upstairs?”

“Sure.” Nikki hesitated. “There’s one other thing, and I hate to do it now, but I’m here and I’d hate to bother you again.”