Page 15 of The Girlfriend Goal

Watching Rachel debate whether to join me was like watching someone perform complex calculations. I could see her weighing variables, assessing risk, trying to logic her way through something that had nothing to do with logic.

"This is weird," she said for the third time, adjusting the borrowed t-shirt she wore over the bikini.

"So weird," I agreed, fighting to keep my eyes on her face. The shirt was mine, hitting her mid-thigh, and seeing her in my clothes did things to my chest I wasn't ready to examine.

I moved closer, but not too close. "Come on, Fox. The water's perfect. I promise not to seduce you with my hot tub moves."

"You have hot tub moves?"

"So many moves. There's the lean. The stretch. The accidental foot touch." I demonstrated each one terribly. "I'm very smooth."

She laughed, finally sliding into the water. "This is strictly therapeutic. For hangover recovery. Not because I want to be in a hot tub with you."

"Wouldn't dream of suggesting it."

We sat in comfortable silence, the morning sun warming our faces. She'd pulled her hair into a messy bun, and I was fascinated by the way little pieces escaped to curl around her neck.

"Stop staring," she said without opening her eyes.

"Can't help it. You're wearing my shirt." I couldn't help the possessive satisfaction in my voice. "It looks good on you."

"Everything looks good on me."

"Confident. I like it."

"You like everything."

"Not true. I don't like the way you run away every time we get close to something real. We can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?" Her voice had gone soft, uncertain.

"I'm tired of pretending I don't think about you constantly. That I don't look for you at every party. That studying with you isn't the highlight of my week."

"It can't be the highlight. You have hockey, parties, other girls."

"Haven't been to a party in weeks unless I thought you'd be there.

Haven't looked at another girl since you yelled at me in that locker room.

" I moved closer, water swirling between us.

"There are no other girls. There's just you, driving me insane with your color-coded systems and competitive streak and the way you bite your lip when you're thinking. "

"I don't—"

"You're doing it right now."

She immediately stopped, then glared when I grinned. "This isn't fair. You can't just say these things while I'm hungover and vulnerable."

"When else am I supposed to say them? You've built walls so high I need a ladder just to get your attention."

"My walls are a perfectly reasonable height."

"They're fortress-level, Fox. Maybe you're scared of what happens if you let someone in."

"Of course I'm scared!" The admission burst out of her. "Do you know what it's like to want something so much it consumes you? To have it ripped away and realize you were stupid for believing in the first place?"

"No. But I know what it's like to want someone so much it rewrites everything you thought you knew about yourself."

She stared at me, eyes wide.

"I know I'm not part of your plan. I know I have a shitty reputation. I know you think this is temporary." I reached for her hand under the water. "But I'm not going anywhere. Not unless you tell me to."

She squeezed my hand, a tiny gesture that felt like a victory. "This doesn't mean anything. We're just testing the waters. If it doesn't work out—"

"It will."

"You can't know that."

"I can." I tugged her closer. "Know how? Because you're still holding my hand."

She looked down at our joined hands like she'd forgotten. But she didn't let go.

"Matt and Jared are going to be insufferable," she said finally.

"They're already insufferable. Jared left a note on my car this morning. 'Hurt her and I'll key more than your car.' I like him."

"He likes you too. He said anyone who brings hangover supplies is worth a second look."

The back door burst open, destroying our moment.

"Oh my god, it's happening!" Matt's voice carried across the yard. "Jared, they're in the hot tub holding hands. Get the camera. It’ll be part of the wedding slideshow."

"We can see you." Jared appeared beside him. "This isn't subtle."

"We weren't trying to be subtle," I called back.

"Could've fooled me with all the pining," Matt said. "Do you know how painful it's been watching you two pretend you don't want to jump each other?"

"We don't—" Rachel started.

"You do," Jared interrupted. "It's disgusting, but also beautiful."

"Weren't you two supposed to be getting breakfast?" I asked.

"That was an hour ago. It's almost noon." Matt grinned. "But don't let us interrupt your 'medicinal' hot tub session."

"I should go," Rachel said, but she still didn't let go of my hand. "Game prep."

"Lance can drive you," Jared suggested, "but I get to interrogate him the entire way."

"Deal," I said before Rachel could protest.

When Jared grilled me in the car, she held my hand over the center console. Jared’s questions ranged from my intentions and credit score, to thoughts on destination weddings.

"This is still just testing," she reminded me as we pulled up to her building. "Don't read into it. And don't you dare bring embarrassing signs to my game."

"Too late. Matt already made them. There's glitter."

She looked at me for a long moment, something shifting in her expression. Then she was gone, taking my t-shirt and a piece of my sanity with her. Jared climbed into the front seat, grinning like he'd won the lottery.

"So," he said. "Let's discuss your intentions with my best friend."

"Are you serious?"

"Dead serious. I have a whole list of questions. Question one: How do you feel about couples' Halloween costumes?"

This was my life now. Being interrogated by Jared about costume preferences while falling for a girl who couldn't admit she was falling back.