Page 43 of The Girlfriend Card (Vegas Sin #4)

Over

Dakota

I knocked and waited what felt like an eternity for somebody to answer, my fate hanging in the balance. I peeked over my shoulder. I didn’t even know whose house I was at—all I knew was my Mercedes was parked in the driveway. Which hopefully meant Ottavia was still here …

Even if she was here—I knew there was no guarantee she’d want to speak to me.

I’d called her nonstop, but she hadn’t answered my calls or texted me back.

If what Mr. Capuano had said was true? I knew there was a damned good chance Ottavia wouldn’t want to speak to me at all.

Who in her position wouldn’t take the money?

But ugh, the possibility of that made me sick to my stomach. If Ottavia didn’t want to be with me anymore—that was one thing.

But please, babe, at least give me the opportunity to explain myself, I thought.

I tried to steady my racing thoughts, reminding myself to stay calm and composed.

I took another glance over my shoulder, half-expecting to see one of Mr. Capuano’s henchmen filming me from the sidewalk.

If so? I didn’t care. I didn’t give a damn about Sal’s “final offer.” If I didn’t have Ottavia, it didn’t make a difference to me.

At last, I heard the door unlock. My spine stiffened and my heart eagerly thumped in my chest; I couldn’t wait to see Ottavia’s beautiful face again, and try to begin to explain everything, if she’d let me.

But as the door cracked open, it wasn’t Ottavia who stood before me.

My heart began to sink—until I realized I recognized the girl who’d answered.

“Hey! You work at BarDown!” I said, relieved, because now I knew Ottavia was here.

“Er, yes, I do …” she stammered, the door chain locked in place, keeping me from trying to force my way in.

“Sorry, what was your name again?”

“Sienna.”

“Sienna, hi. I’m Dakota.” I shook her hand. “Is Ottavia here with you? I’ve been trying to reach her.”

“Um …” Sienna pursed her lips and glanced over her shoulder to consult. “What do you want?”

“I just … I need to talk to her. There are things I have to explain.” I sighed. “Things I have to apologize for.”

Sienna disappeared for a moment to consult with Ottavia in secret.

“She’s not allowed to talk to you anymore, Dakota,” Sienna said, offering a frown.

“I’m not allowed to talk to her, either. Her dad said he’ll end my career if I try to talk to her again,” I said with a heavy sigh. “But can I at least speak to her through the door? She can just listen to what I have to say. She doesn’t have to talk at all.”

Sienna turned around to confer if this technicality was acceptable or not. She must’ve gotten approval from Ottavia, because Sienna gestured for me to come closer.

I stepped up, leaning closer so I could speak through the cracked door.

“Ottavia … babe … I’m sorry. I don’t even know what to say,” I said, rolling my eyes at myself. “I feel like a complete idiot. You probably hate me right now, and I don’t even blame you. But …” I trailed off, stuck.

I didn’t know what else to say. The silence grew deafening. This was my big moment, and I was choking? Really? I felt so damned pathetic.

You’re a failure.

A failure at hockey and a failure in love.

Mr. Capuano was right; I’d already blown it. Something told me to give up, to turn around and run with my tail between my legs and run home, and pray Mr. Capuano would still let me play hockey …

Sienna saw me struggling. Before I could run off, she tapped on her sternum and mouthed the words, From the heart.

Only problem with that was I didn’t know how to speak from the heart at all. I stood there, feeling like a clueless jerk who had no idea how to get in touch with his emotions. Hell, the only thing I felt in my heart at all was this festering sense of regret.

Was that what I was supposed to speak from? How? I let my consciousness sink lower, into the core of my being, and sat with that ugly feeling. I sat there with it, turning it over, trying to get to know what, exactly, it was—when a funny thing happened. I began to speak.

“I—I should’ve told you the truth.” The words had found their way out all on their own, and they felt so damned true, nothing could stop them.

“But I lied, Ottavia. I lied when I told you I didn’t hook up with that girl from the video.

” I let out a sigh. “I don’t even know why I lied, Ottavia.

I guess I thought it wasn’t a big deal, because I slept with her before I even met you. ”

I cut myself off because those words didn’t feel true when I spoke them. With that in mind, I examined my inner self again, trying to find the thread of truth again.

“No. That’s not true. I know exactly why I lied about that girl, Ottavia.

I lied because I wanted you to like me. I didn’t want you to think I was gross, or creepy, hooking up with this random bar chick before a big game, when I should’ve been sleeping at my hotel.

I didn’t want you to think I was this piece of shit, party-boy loser the media made me out to be—because deep down, that’s exactly what I was.

And I knew you wouldn’t like me if you knew the truth about me. ”

I let out a sigh, my head falling against the door with a soft thud .

“I was protecting myself by lying to you. And I told myself a harmless little lie like that didn’t matter because you’d never know.

And besides, it happened before I’d even met you, so in my mind, I hadn’t done anything wrong.

But now? Now I see how wrong that is. And I see how much a stupid lie could hurt someone.

Because I remember what you said to me this morning, Ottavia. Do you remember?”

I gave her a chance to reply, but I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t speak.

“You said you’d trust me because I’d never given you any reason not to trust me. And now?”

I shook my head, angry at myself.

“Well, now , obviously, I’ve blown it. I broke your trust. And I hate myself for that. So I don’t blame you if you never want to hear from me again. Which would suck, a lot. Because this morning, I really thought we were going to work out, no matter what …”

I sighed, disappointed.

“And now I’m kicking myself because I never even got to tell you how I feel about you, Ottavia.

” I took a deep breath and gathered my thoughts.

“You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever known.

You’re so smart and funny and so talented.

And hell, let’s be real, you’re kinda wacky, too—and that’s what drew me to you in the beginning!

You know that. You’ve got so much personality and you’re just so much fun to be around, to talk to.

I practically spent my entire summer with you, and not once did I get sick of you.

When we were apart? You were all I could think about.

I couldn’t wait to be with you again.” I added, chuckling, “Of course, it doesn’t hurt that you’re also incredibly gorgeous and sexy … ”

I paused, a grin on my face. I couldn’t see or hear Ottavia, but I could just imagine her rolling her eyes at me.

“But it’s so much more than your looks, obviously,” I continued.

“What makes you so special is what’s on the inside.

And I know everyone thinks your life is so easy because your family’s rich.

Which has to be so aggravating. Because most people wouldn’t last a day in your shoes.

They have no idea how much bullshit you put up with.

On the outside? You’re stunning, everyone can see it, it’s obvious.

But on the inside? You’re so resilient, so strong.

You’re fucking nails , Ottavia. And I respect you so, so much for that.

That’s why you’re such an inspiration to me. ”

I let the silence percolate.

“That’s why I’ll never forgive myself for betraying your trust. Because honesty was the one thing you wanted from me. I’m truly sorry for that, Ottavia. And I understand if you can’t forgive me. But please know that I never meant to hurt you.”

My throat tightened, and I swallowed hard, gathering my courage for what I had to say next.

“I love you, Ottavia. And I’m sorry. I’ll regret the pain I caused you for the rest of my life.”

Sienna looked distraught, a single tear rolling down her cheek, but Ottavia still said nothing and was nowhere to be found.

Her absence told me my worst fears were confirmed: she was done with me. It was difficult to put into words just how painful that was. Losing Ottavia, just when I’d only begun to realize how much she meant to me, was a devastating blow. I knew I’d never be the same after this.

I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself as I backed away from the door.

The weight of the moment bore down on me, the finality of it all sinking in.

I desperately wished for her to say something, to give me some sign that there was still a glimmer of hope, even though I knew I didn’t deserve it.

“Okay, well—I think I’ve said everything there is to say,” I said, my voice cracking with emotion. “So, I guess this is goodbye.”

I waited one last beat. I’d kill just to hear her say bye, at least .

But still, she said nothing.

And I felt foolish for still standing there.

“So … have a good life?” I mumbled, an embarrassed heat rising to my cheeks.

I turned and walked back to my car, an unbearable sadness crushing my heart. I couldn’t believe it was over—but I had no one but myself to blame.

Sienna yelled after me, “I’ll get your car back to you tomorrow, okay?”

I shrugged. “Whatever … I don’t even care anymore …”

I climbed into my car, the silence around me suffocating, echoing the emptiness I felt inside.

Fuck me, I thought, the Porsche engine growling to life.