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Another shrug. “The book wasn’t my idea.

I never wanted to write it or be part of it.

I never wanted the thing to exist. But so much was going on after that summer.

My parents wanted their daughter back, and I haven’t had the courage to tell them she’s long gone.

Haven’t found a way to break it to them that that girl doesn’t exist anymore. ”

Megan paused a moment.

“You know, I was missing for two weeks and was completely alone, never felt so alone. Then, when I escaped and came home, I never had a minute to myself. Someone was always with me in those first few months, too afraid to leave my side. My parents smothered me. My shrink was all over me to write the book. Then publishers approached me. Some agents. I used the book as a way to get them all off my back. I used the book to escape, as a way to buy some anonymity from those closest to me. It worked, too. As long as I was working on that stupid book, they all left me alone. My parents used the book as a distraction as much as I did. As long as my mother believed I was writing, it relieved her need to check on me every minute of the day and ask if I had decided on college and about what I was doing with my life and my future. As long as I was writing that book, my parents believed I was in some magical place of healing. And now look at me. The book that was supposed to bring me anonymity has brought celebrity. The book that was supposed to bring healing has only reopened all my wounds.”

Megan looked at Livia.

“I wanted to include more about Nicole, but they all told me not to. Dr. Mattingly strictly warned against it, and my agent and editor greatly revised what I had written.”

Livia heard through Megan’s words the voice of a girl trapped and haunted by the past. It was a voice very different from the one her mind heard as she read Megan’s book.

“Have your parents read the book?” Megan asked.

“I’m not sure,” Livia lied.

“Don’t let them, okay? It’s not right for them. It’s a goddamn celebration of my life and triumphs that completely ignores that someone else was lost that night.”

“Thank you,” Livia said. “I’ll keep them away from it. Can I ask? Why was everyone around you so adamant about excluding Nicole?”

Megan shook her head. “Nicole is not a feel-good story. The editor was very specific that he wanted a triumphant story. He wanted the gritty, disturbing details because that’s what sells.

Because, really, that’s why people buy the book.

But the story needed to end with my victory, not with Nicole’s tragedy.

They have some formula they actually showed me about memoirs with dark themes that ended triumphantly for the victim versus the same books that ended in defeat. ”

“Based on sales, I’d say they know what they’re talking about.”

“Lucky me,” Megan said.

There was a short pause. “I came here tonight worried that I’d hate you,” Livia said. “Because I only know you from the book and your interviews. But I have a very different opinion of you right now.”

Megan shrugged again. “You said you wanted to talk about the case. The funny thing is, besides Dr. Mattingly, no one has talked to me about what happened. Not for a long time. I mean, the police initially, and that was mostly my dad. Later, detectives. But after that initial surge? Nothing. I’ve tried to get updates, but there’s not much to talk about.

At least, that’s what I’ve been told. I suspect it’s partially true.

They don’t have much. But I also know it’s this group of do-gooders around me, led by my parents, who want to protect me and help me move on.

What no one understands is that I’m not capable of simply burying those two weeks as if they never happened. ”

“I’m sorry for what happened to you, Megan. And I do want to ask you some questions about that night, if you’re comfortable talking with me.”

“Yes,” Megan said. “I mean, I’m comfortable telling you anything I know. You said on the phone you came across something? ”

“I did. The night you were found wandering Highway Fifty-Seven. The night you escaped. At the hospital, a large amount of a chemical called ketamine was found in your bloodstream.”

“Yeah. Dr. Mattingly tells me I was likely sedated to some degree for most of my time in captivity, based on my memory lapses and what he’s discovered during therapy sessions.

Through those sessions, with the help of hypnosis, I’ve been piecing things together about those two weeks.

Which is another reason the book is such a joke.

I know so much more now than I did when that book was written.

But, you know, gotta strike when the iron is hot.

So what about the ketamine is peculiar?”

“Do you know much about ketamine?”

“No.”

“It’s a unique sedative. It’s fast-acting and, besides sedation and anesthesia—it’s two main uses—it can cause of number of side effects, including confusion, disorientation, memory loss, and impaired motor skills.

When dosed correctly, ketamine causes conscious sedation, where the patient is awake but detached from their body and their surroundings.

But if dosed incorrectly, if ingested in too great a quantity and combined with other drugs, ketamine causes respiratory failure and death. ”

Megan took her gaze from the evening sky and looked at Livia. “Dr. Mattingly told me some of this. That’s why he thinks my suppression of certain aspects of my captivity has been so hard to overcome.”

“Ketamine is also unique because we don’t see it a lot in mainstream medicine. It’s used mostly by veterinarians, not too often by medical doctors. So when we see it, it stands out. At least to me it does.”

“Stands out how?”

“There was a girl who went missing a couple of years ago, more than a year before you and Nicole were taken. Her name was Nancy Dee. She was from a small town in Virginia and she disappeared one day after volleyball practice. This was back in March of 2015. Her body was found six months later and told a story of captivity—chronic bruising to her ankles and wrists commonly found when someone is restrained for long periods. Sexual abuse, as well. A jogger found her body in a shallow grave along a wooded running path. I had a look at the autopsy and toxicology report. Nancy died of respiratory distress from an overdose of ketamine.”

Livia let the implication settle in.

“Ketamine?”

Livia nodded.

“You think my case is connected to this other girl?”

“I think it’s a possibility,” Livia said.

“Like, the same person who took me, took this other girl?”

“Yes. The same person who took you and Nicole.”

An uneasy look came over Megan’s face and Livia recognized it immediately.

“Look, Megan, I know I’m springing this on you, and I know I don’t have much to back up my theory.

But my sister is gone, and I need some answers to what happened to her.

Some closure. At least some attention. I feel like this town has forgotten her.

This town, the county, the whole goddamn state and country have forgotten Nicole Cutty ever existed.

Maybe all these months later, I’m starting to forget, too.

“I want to look into this ketamine connection. See if there are any other similarities between your case and Nancy Dee’s.

I’m going to need help. My contacts include the detectives I work with at the medical examiner’s office, but I know they won’t give my theory much time.

Especially since Nancy was from Virginia, which is out of their jurisdiction and beyond their interest. So, if you’re on board here, I was hoping you might ask your dad for help on this. ”

Megan looked briefly at Livia and then diverted her eyes, nodding her head.

“I can ask him. And I will, if we have to.” She paused.

“It’s just that my dad’s had a harder time with this than anyone.

I know he blames himself for what happened to me.

Right afterward, before my mother became the zombie she is today—so focused on the book and the money and paying for the college I don’t attend—I heard her mention to Dr. Mattingly how helpless my dad felt during my captivity.

Impotent was the word she used. My dad is in charge of the county’s police force and I know he still carries guilt for what happened to me.

He’s torn up that I was taken, as any father would be.

But what killed him was not finding me. He used to tell me, right after I made it home, that he didn’t sleep for the entire two weeks I was gone because his mind was working every second on ways to find me.

I know he wants my forgiveness, but I’ve never blamed him for what happened to me so I don’t know how to give it to him. ”

Megan shook her head and wiped her eyes before they had a chance to shed tears.

“He’s not the same since this happened. None of us are. So, I’ll ask him for help. I will,” Megan said. “I promise. But if we want to look into my case, I’d rather start elsewhere first.”

Livia nodded. “Okay. Where is that?”

“I work at the courthouse.” Megan pointed at the building behind them.

“If you want to look for a connection between my case—and Nicole’s—and the girl in Virginia, I can get us access to my case file.

I know right where to look for it. I’ve looked through it myself out of curiosity.

I didn’t find anything, but you’ll be looking with fresh eyes.

We’ll take that route first and see what we find.

If we come across anything relevant that connects the case to Nancy Dee, then I’ll ask my dad for help. ”

“Okay,” Livia said. “How exactly does one look at a case file and evidence?”

“I was able to find my case initially because I’m a snoop and everyone’s very awkward around me.

I’m the sheriff’s daughter and ever since the abduction people are afraid to talk to me.

Before, this would have offended me. Now, I prefer it.

I wander around the dark corners of that building and people divert their eyes.

But I won’t get that same treatment if I walk down to evidence with you next to me.

To smuggle you in, we’ll have to do it when the supervisor is gone and I’ll have to ask for a favor.

But I know an evidence tech who owes me one.

I’ll try for this Friday. Does that work? ”

Livia nodded. “I’ll make it work. What time?”

“Meet me here at noon? If I can’t pull strings by then, we’ll reschedule.”

Livia stood from the bench. “Thanks, Megan. I appreciate the help. ”

“I’m glad someone’s asking for it.”

Livia turned to leave.

“Sorry I never got in touch with you or your parents after all this,” Megan said.

“You’ve been through a lot. You’ve got to take care of yourself before you can be expected to reach out to others.” Livia turned again to leave.

“Livia?”

Livia looked back.

“I know you think everyone has forgotten about Nicole. But I never have.”